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Clips from Lucifer - Take Me Back to Hell (S01E01)

"It sounds like fun to me."
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"Ah, there's nothing like"
Lucifer
"a fresh shirt after a rainy rooftop."
Lucifer
"What is that smell?"
Lucifer
"(groans) Tropical musk candles."
Lucifer
"Gosh, the sacrifices you made pretending to be a therapist."
Lucifer
"Yeah, I like that scent."
Lucifer
"- Of course you do. - Okay,"
Lucifer
"can we please just focus?"
Lucifer
"- Now, what's your plan to find Malcolm? - My plan?"
Lucifer
"- Yeah. - Well, I thought you were the expert at plotting murder."
Lucifer
"Or not so expert, considering I'm still alive."
Lucifer
"Which is why I brought us here,"
Lucifer
"so that we could come up with a plan."
Lucifer
"Right. Well, it sounds more like you want me"
Lucifer
"to do all the heavy lifting. So how's this? Step one,"
Lucifer
"travel back in time and not make such a mess of things."
Lucifer
"You know, I'm suddenly reminded of why I wanted you dead"
Lucifer
"in the first place."
Lucifer
"Luci, what is your problem?"
Lucifer
"Oh, good question, Doctor. Well, you see,"
Lucifer
"the thing is that my brother has been trying to kill me"
Lucifer
"and now he wants to work with me"
Lucifer
"but we can't seem to get along,"
Lucifer
"mainly because he's an egotistical twit."
Lucifer
"Hello?"
Lucifer
"Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Canaan."
Lucifer
"I didn't realize that you were in session"
Lucifer
"with a... Lucifer?"
Lucifer
"(scoffing): Oh."
Lucifer
"I can't believe this."
Lucifer
"You're stealing my patient."
Lucifer
"Uh, not exactly."
Lucifer
"Actually, you may be just what we need, my dear doctor."
Lucifer
"I deserve that."
Lucifer
"You lied to me."
Lucifer
"I don't even know you."
Lucifer
"You shot a man in cold blood."
Lucifer
"I shot Malcolm to protect you."
Lucifer
"Everything I saw at Palmetto, it was all true!"
Lucifer
"You let them think I was crazy."
Lucifer
"- I never intended... - You let me think I was crazy."
Lucifer
"I'm sorry."
Lucifer
"You don't get to be sorry."
Lucifer
"If I could take it all back, I would."
Lucifer
"You can't take it back!"
Lucifer
"I know."
Lucifer
"But you can make this right."
Lucifer
"How?"
Lucifer
"Prove Lucifer is innocent."
Lucifer
"Where are you going?"
Lucifer
"Lucifer thinks I abandoned him."
Lucifer
"I need to find him."
Lucifer
"LINDA: So you're-you're brothers?"
Lucifer
"Unfortunately."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: And we're having a terrible time working together."
Lucifer
"But because you've been so helpful with me, Linda,"
Lucifer
"hopefully you can help fix our problems."
Lucifer
"Listen, I know this must be a shock..."
Lucifer
"Are you even a real doctor?"
Lucifer
"(laughing): No, of course he isn't."
Lucifer
"Gosh, if he had any clue about human nature,"
Lucifer
"we wouldn't be in this mess."
Lucifer
"Oh. You dare criticize me?"
Lucifer
"Luci, you're arrogant, you're selfish,"
Lucifer
"- all you do is think with your penis... - Oh."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Oh. Which, of course, you would never do, would you?"
Lucifer
"How's Maze, by the way?"
Lucifer
"Dr. Martin, will you please tell him to shut up"
Lucifer
"and just listen to reason?"
Lucifer
"Oh, if by reason, you mean a deceptive load"
Lucifer
"- of bull... - Enough!"
Lucifer
"You lied to me about being a doctor"
Lucifer
"so you could manipulate Lucifer,"
Lucifer
"who is actually"
Lucifer
"your brother."
Lucifer
"Somehow."
Lucifer
"Do you realize"
Lucifer
"the ethical position you've put me in?"
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"And you, let me guess,"
Lucifer
"you were gonna make a sexual joke"
Lucifer
"about putting me in a position."
Lucifer
"That's true, yeah."
Lucifer
"Because everything's a joke to you."
Lucifer
"And yet, for some reason, I take you seriously,"
Lucifer
"even when you insist on clinging to these ridiculous metaphors--"
Lucifer
"Heaven, Hell, angels, devils."
Lucifer
"- Actually, they're not... - Trust me,"
Lucifer
"you don't want to pick that fight."
Lucifer
"You claimed you came to L.A."
Lucifer
"to reinvent yourself, yet every time"
Lucifer
"I think you come upon a moment of realization,"
Lucifer
"you go the exact wrong direction with it."
Lucifer
"I did... Ho-Hold on. You're right. I did come to L.A."
Lucifer
"to start a new life, didn't I?"
Lucifer
"And now Malcolm's on the run."
Lucifer
"He's gonna need to start a new life, too."
Lucifer
"No, see, you're doing it again. LUCIFER: New I.D.,"
Lucifer
"bank account, passport."
Lucifer
"I know just the person to go to."
Lucifer
"Oh."
Lucifer
"Damn, you're good."
Lucifer
"Yep. (door shuts)"
Lucifer
"(Chloe clears throat)"
Lucifer
"Where's Lucifer?"
Lucifer
"Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you."
Lucifer
"You've never liked me."
Lucifer
"Why?"
Lucifer
"Because every day was a party."
Lucifer
"Every sin, every desire L.A. offered,"
Lucifer
"we took part."
Lucifer
"And then he met you."
Lucifer
"So you think it's my fault that the party's over?"
Lucifer
"That and the fact that you're hunting him down like a dog."
Lucifer
"I don't think he killed the preacher."
Lucifer
"I need you to help me find him before another cop does."
Lucifer
"So where would he go?"
Lucifer
"- You know him better than anyone. - These days"
Lucifer
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