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Clips from United States of Al (2021) - Car/Motar (S01E01)

"I thought you got a great deal on that thing.I did!"
United States of Al (2021)
"The guy who sold it to me even said"
United States of Al (2021)
"I was the toughest negotiator he ever..."
United States of Al (2021)
"Son of a bitch."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm gonna go down to that dealership and let 'em have it."
United States of Al (2021)
"I mean, taking advantage of an immigrant and a moron--"
United States of Al (2021)
"that ain't right."
United States of Al (2021)
"Just to be clear, you're the moron."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, friends."
United States of Al (2021)
"You come back for more tea?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes.No."
United States of Al (2021)
"No."
United States of Al (2021)
"So..."
United States of Al (2021)
"you like bamboozling people, do ya?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Is that how you get your kicks?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Is there a problem?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yeah. You sold my friend here a car"
United States of Al (2021)
"for, like, eight million dollars."
United States of Al (2021)
"Sir, I jumped through hoops to get him what he asked for."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'll tell you what you did."
United States of Al (2021)
"You treated a war hero like a chump."
United States of Al (2021)
"What-what's a chump?"
United States of Al (2021)
"You."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm ashamed to say I cannot afford this car."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm sorry to hear that. You were so happy yesterday."
United States of Al (2021)
"Because you filled my belly with tea and lies."
United States of Al (2021)
"Point is, he's returning it."
United States of Al (2021)
"Mm, check your contract."
United States of Al (2021)
"You can't do that."
United States of Al (2021)
"Isn't there a law, like a..."
United States of Al (2021)
"like a cooling-off period or something?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes, there are a lot of laws like that."
United States of Al (2021)
"But not in Ohio, which is why I sell cars here."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, listen, lady, we're not leaving"
United States of Al (2021)
"till you take the car back."
United States of Al (2021)
"We could buy it back from you,"
United States of Al (2021)
"probably for half of what you paid."
United States of Al (2021)
"It's a brand-new car."
United States of Al (2021)
"That was yesterday."
United States of Al (2021)
"Today, it's a brand-new used car."
United States of Al (2021)
"It only has 20 miles on it."
United States of Al (2021)
"It has 450 miles on it.What?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I wanted to see Indiana."
United States of Al (2021)
"Look, I'm done pussyfooting around."
United States of Al (2021)
"Get me your manager."
United States of Al (2021)
"I am the manager."
United States of Al (2021)
"But you had to go to the other manager and talk to him."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, wow."
United States of Al (2021)
"Look, the car's brand-new."
United States of Al (2021)
"Buy it back for the price you sold it to him."
United States of Al (2021)
"And why would I do that?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Because it's the right thing to do."
United States of Al (2021)
"Look, I got Pilates in half an hour."
United States of Al (2021)
"There is no prepayment penalty."
United States of Al (2021)
"If you got the cash,"
United States of Al (2021)
"you can pay back the loan as fast as you want."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I'll get more money."
United States of Al (2021)
"I can't pay you any more."
United States of Al (2021)
"Mr. Art, I will get another job."
United States of Al (2021)
"You're the manager."
United States of Al (2021)
"Are you hiring here?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Ah, Lizzie, do you have a minute?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Until I get a proper office with a door, yeah."
United States of Al (2021)
"I need to find another job."
United States of Al (2021)
"Would you mind taking a look at my résumé?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yeah."
United States of Al (2021)
"Uh, which page is your résumé?"
United States of Al (2021)
"All of them."
United States of Al (2021)
"This is more of a memoir."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, but this is how résumés are back home."
United States of Al (2021)
"Also, my memoir will be much longer"
United States of Al (2021)
"and include pencil etchings."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, so this is every school you ever went to,"
United States of Al (2021)
"Mm-hmm.and every class you ever took,"
United States of Al (2021)
"and here's a page of hobbies."
United States of Al (2021)
"Listed alphabetically from buzkashi to yo-yo competitions."
United States of Al (2021)
"I find that a wide range of interests"
United States of Al (2021)
"is really what separates me from the rest of the pack."
United States of Al (2021)
"This isn't really how we do résumés here."
United States of Al (2021)
"Only need, like, one page."
United States of Al (2021)
"One page?"
United States of Al (2021)
"That won't even cover all of my awards from primary school."
United States of Al (2021)
"Let's just start fresh."
United States of Al (2021)
"When did you start working?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Uh, I was probably five or six.What?"
United States of Al (2021)
"That's child labor."
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes, but in Afghanistan, we just call it labor."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, so-so what was your job when you were five?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I sold crackers in the neighborhood."
United States of Al (2021)
"But then I moved on up to selling green onions"
United States of Al (2021)
"in downtown Kabul."
United States of Al (2021)
"You must have made a lot of sales,"
United States of Al (2021)
"cute kid like you.No."
United States of Al (2021)
"Everyone there is used to seeing children sell things."
United States of Al (2021)
"That is why all your lemonade stands don't work on me."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, well, uh, what other kind of work have you done?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Hmm. Um..."
United States of Al (2021)
"Carpet weaving."
United States of Al (2021)
"Ah, but it's been a while."
United States of Al (2021)
"I don't have the calluses anymore."
United States of Al (2021)
"You know what?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Why don't we just cherry-pick a few things out of here."
United States of Al (2021)
"Cherry-picking. That's page five."
United States of Al (2021)
"We have the best cherries in the world,"
United States of Al (2021)
"so it's always a good conversation starter."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, starting conversations."
United States of Al (2021)
"It's under "special skills.""
United States of Al (2021)
"There he is."
United States of Al (2021)