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Clips from The Monkees - I Was a Teenage Monster (S01E01)

"I will remember nothing."
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"You will remember nothing."
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"I will remember nothing."
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"I will remember nothing."
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"Not you! Take them to their rooms. In the morning,"
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"we start the last experiment: whether the monster can fool an audience."
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"- Well, good morning, everybody. - Morning."
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"You are feeling alright?"
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"Oh, yeah, thank you very m-oh, fine? I feel wonderful."
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"- Not bad. Not bad. - All ready to play, yes?"
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"Yeah."
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"Alright, let's begin the experiment."
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"Okay, uh, Micky-experiment? Uh, one, two, three, nine, seven."
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"? I'm gonna pack up all the pain ? ? Gonna keep it in my heart ?"
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"? I'm gonna keep the pain in my heart ?"
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"? Keep it in my heart ?"
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"? Hey, hey, hey, tomorrow's- ?"
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"Gentlemen, when I retained you, I thought you were musicians."
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"Oh, well, we-"
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"Now I shall have to ask for my money back."
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"You don't understand-"
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"We are."
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"We usually play, you know, we play pretty good."
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"Yeah, we play-I, I don't care what-"
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"Really, man. I don't understand."
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"But wait a minute, I think, yes, see here."
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"Wait, gentlemen! Wait! You are about to"
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"witness the world premiere of my latest invention,"
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"which you yourselves helped to create more than you know."
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"And here he is, the swinging android."
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"? I'm gonna pack up all the pain ? ? Gonna keep it in my heart ?"
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"? I'm gonna catch me the fastest train I'm gonna make me a brand new start ?"
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"? Well, that's okay ?"
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"? Tomorrow's gonna be another day ?"
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"But it's great."
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"It's pretty good, I guess."
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"Good luck. See you later."
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"By George, you did it. By George, you did it."
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"They said I couldn't do it."
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"But you did it."
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"You know, I don't understand it."
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"That monster was singing with our voice,"
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"and we couldn't even carry a tune in a bucket."
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"Hey! I got it! I remember! The laboratory!"
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"So do I! They drained us of our musical ability,"
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"and then they made us forget it."
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"Come on, let's take a look at the lab."
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"Yeah. Wait, uh..."
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"Listen. Your father stole our"
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"voices and gave 'em to that monster. Now what do you think of that?"
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"Wait'll you see the sequel. The vampire turns Davy into a werewolf."
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"I don't want to hear it. Oh!"
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"Hey, the doctor's not here; we gotta work fast."
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"Well, what do we do? What?"
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"Um, wait. You think you can figure out how to put this thing in reverse?"
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"Yeah, it's a cinch, man."
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"Then do it."
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"Okay, Mick, throw the switch."
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"Okay, ready? A heh."
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"Start all over again."
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"Come, Groot. We must check the android."
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"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the evilest one of all?"
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"Doctor Franz Schwibel of Dusseldorf Germany."
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"But I thought it was me."
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"You are only second best; you'll have to try harder."
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"And don't yell at me; I only work here."
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"Well, I think I've got that gizmo wired straight this time,"
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"but it could be dangerous, guys."
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"Yeah, well, I'm very fatalistic."
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"Huh?"
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"Well, I figure either an electrode's got my name on it or it hasn't."
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"Oh. Huh. Well, when I throw the switch,"
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"it should reverse the process and transfer the monster'"
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"musical ability back to us. Are you ready?"
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"Okay, ready."
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"- You're ready now, huh? - Yeah, I'm ready."
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"- Here goes. - Wait!"
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"- Huh? - Okay, I'm ready."
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"Okay, here goes."
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"Groovy, man. That's not my bag. Don't get uptight."
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"Hey, he's become a hippie."
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"Let's split. Go to my pad. That's where it's at. Groovy? Dig?"
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"Oh, great. Now we got a super hippie on our hands."
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"Hello? It's for you, master."
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"She says it's vitally important."
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"Hello, this is Doctor Mendoza."
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"No, madam, we are not interested in bossa nova lessons."
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"Hold it, guys, I-I think I got it now. Just a minute."
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"Ah! Okay, here goes."
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"Okay, Mike, how do you feel?"
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"Kill! Kill!"
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"Hey, Micky! What you've done to Mike?"
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"Yeah, his, uh, voice isn't usually that deep, is it?"
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"Now that you've made the singing android,"
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"will you not do as you promised and turn me into a tall, strong monster?"
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"Yes, Groot. I shall turn you into a vampire."
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"Oh, but you promised to make me into a wolf man."
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"Alright. I'll make you into a wolf man."
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"Oh, good. Although, vampires are nice."
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"Okay, I think I got it. I think I got it this time."
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"Ready? Here goes nothing."
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"Okay, Mr. Monster, are you back to normal?"
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"I would do this room in French Provincial."
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"No, Micky. What is this called?"
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"The color scheme should be lavender and puce. Or this."
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"Ha ha. Oh, sorry about that. Ha ha ha."
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"I, you see, the dials were... uh, listen, guys, honest,"
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"I'll get it this time. Really, it's very simple,"
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"all I gotta do is adjust this one dial over here on the board, I-oh!"
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"What was that?"
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"So, you will undo all my work?"
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"Curse you, Red Baron!"
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"Android, I'm your master. Kill The Monkees!"
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"Android! Andy! Andy, wait! I'm Peter, your friend."
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"The doctor is an evil man. He wants to exploit you."
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"You're only a pawn in his hands, a tool for his avaricious ambition."
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""Avaricious ambitions"? Where did he get that?"
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"- It's in the script. - Are you sure?"
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"- Yeah, on page twenty-eight. - Oh."
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"Besides, he wants sixty percent of your income."
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