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Clips from Grey's Anatomy (2005) - Silent All These Years (S15E15)

"And I remember, I kept telling myself"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"that as soon as I had you in my arms"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"that I could do that"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"and that I would do that."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"Other women did it, so why couldn't I?"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"So I gave the hospital a fake name."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"I left with you... the day you were born."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"I remember they wanted me to stay,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"and they wanted me to rest, but I just wanted to get out."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"I just wanted to get out of there, and I just wanted --"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"[ Voice breaking ] I just wanted to be alone with you,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"and I just wanted it to be the two of us, and..."
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"[ Breathes deeply ]"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"...and I wanted to stare at you and hold you..."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"...'til that love came."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"But it never did."
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"No, it did."
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"It did."
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"Everything they said was absolutely right."
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"My heart cracked wide open."
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"[ Crying ]"
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"It was never just us,"
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"no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"I was just a reminder of him."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"I resented you so much for it."
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"I spent most of my life..."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"doubting everyone I ever met,"
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"leaving them before they could leave me."
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"I am a grown woman [sighs]"
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"with a job that I love and friends I love"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"and a husband who loves me,"
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"and still --"
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"still..."
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"I was walking around, uh, waiting,"
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"wondering if you would ever find me."
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"[ Sniffles ]"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"If you would ever say that you're sorry."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"I did the best I could."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"The best you could would've been to find an adoption agency"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"and make sure I had a home and someone to love me,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"not toss me away like garbage."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"It is so easy to look at me now"
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"and think of all the ways"
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"that I could've been kinder, better, or smarter,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"but..."
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"...I was not the person I am today."
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"I was not in my right mind."
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"I wasn't in my mind at all."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"That night that -- that he held me down, screaming."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"That night that he had his hands around my throat"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"until I stopped screaming,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"when I was hovering over my own body"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"while he was tearing away at me,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"that night that he smiled"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"and he forced me to say that I liked it,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"when he laughed and..."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"...promised that we could do it any time that I wanted to..."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"...that was the night that I lost my right mind."
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"He stole it from me, and for nine months --"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"for nine months, I pretended I was fine."
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"I pretended that I wasn't a zombie,"
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"that I wasn't numb or dead inside."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"And then, the day that you were born,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"I held you, and I looked at your face,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"and I..."
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"[ Breathes deeply ]"
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"...I could feel again for the first time,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"but..."
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"[ Breathes sharply ]"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"...my mind..."
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"...that took years to come back."
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"In fact, I'm -- Part of it never did."
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"Of course you deserved better."
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"[ Breathes sharply ]"
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"I didn't have better to give you."
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"I was seven weeks pregnant"
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"when my ex-husband cracked my ribs"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"and threw me across the living room floor."
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"He didn't know that I was pregnant,"
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"and I decided in that moment that he could never know."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"I couldn't -- I couldn't see a way out."
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"Not then, at least."
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"[ Breathing shakily ]"
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"I knew that, if I tried to leave,"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"he would kill me."
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"But I also knew that I couldn't raise a kid"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"in that...fear, and in that danger."
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"You had an abortion."
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"I've never told anyone that."
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"I don't know why. I'm not ashamed of it."
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"I... [ Sighs ]"
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"I did what I had to do."
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"[ Crying ]"
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"[ Vehicles passing in distance ]"
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"[ Dinnerware clattering lightly in distance ]"
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"[ Sniffles ]"
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"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
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"[ Sniffles ]"
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"Do I look like him?"
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"You have my father's eyes..."
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"but the hair is all mine."
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"And maybe the fire in the belly."
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"[ Voice breaking ] I did the best I could,"
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"and I'm still..."
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"I'm sorry. I'm still just doing the best I can."
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"[ Chair scrapes lightly ]"
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"[ Exhales sharply ]"
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"♪♪"
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"[ Footsteps depart ]"
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"♪♪"
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"[ Door closes ]"
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"She's becoming increasingly tachypneic."
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"Let OR 1 know that we're on our way."
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"Abby, it's time."
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"We have to go up now."
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"No. I'm not -- I'm not ready. I'm --"
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"[ Echoing ] Abby, I know you're scared."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"No, you're gonna -- you're gonna --"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"you're gonna take me out and knock me out where I --"
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
"the last time I was out, h-he knocked me out."
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
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