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Clips from Seinfeld - The Lip Reader (S05E05)

"...cost me a relationship."
Seinfeld
"- They never have napkins there. - Let's get the check."
Seinfeld
"Is this considered signing? Do you do this when you ask for the check?"
Seinfeld
"Really? I know a sign. That's my first sign."
Seinfeld
"That couple is breaking up."
Seinfeld
"They're breaking up?"
Seinfeld
"- How do you know? - She reads lips."
Seinfeld
"What are they saying now?"
Seinfeld
""It's not you. It's me.""
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"I just had a great idea."
Seinfeld
"She could come to the party tomorrow and read Gwen's lips for me."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"We bring her to the party..."
Seinfeld
"...and she tells me what Gwen is saying about me."
Seinfeld
"She's not a novelty act, George..."
Seinfeld
"...that you hire out for weddings and bar mitzvahs."
Seinfeld
"Look, it's a skill, just like juggling."
Seinfeld
"She probably enjoys showing it off."
Seinfeld
"I don't know, George. I'm not sure about this."
Seinfeld
"Would you ask her? Just ask her."
Seinfeld
"- If she says no, case closed. - All right."
Seinfeld
"- Laura, George was wondering if- - Sure. I'll do it."
Seinfeld
"- So I really had a good time. - Yeah, me too."
Seinfeld
"- Wanna go to the party on Friday? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"All right, we're taking a car service."
Seinfeld
"So we'll swing by and pick you up."
Seinfeld
"How about 6?"
Seinfeld
"Six is good."
Seinfeld
"You got a problem with 6?"
Seinfeld
"What? What?"
Seinfeld
"Okay, listen up, people."
Seinfeld
"There are plenty of you here, but we've only got two spots to fill."
Seinfeld
"So good luck."
Seinfeld
"Hey, pops, isn't there a better way to spend your twilight years?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I may be old, but I'm spry."
Seinfeld
"The tryout lasts three and a half to four hours."
Seinfeld
"- Are you up for it? - Oh, I'll be up for it, punk."
Seinfeld
"See, I was saying " six," but she thought I was saying " sex.""
Seinfeld
"We straightened the whole thing out."
Seinfeld
"- She confused " six" with " sex"? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"If she can't tell " six" from " sex," how's she gonna lip read across a room?"
Seinfeld
"- "Six" and " sex" are close. - It's two completely different sounds:"
Seinfeld
"And:"
Seinfeld
"It seems like a problem."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm not dating any other deaf women."
Seinfeld
"Hey, guess who's gonna be the new ball man for the finals?"
Seinfeld
"- You're kidding. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"They said they never saw anybody go after balls with such gusto."
Seinfeld
"- When is that car service coming? - Five minutes."
Seinfeld
"It's gonna pick us up, then Elaine. Laura's gonna meet us there."
Seinfeld
"If this lip-reading thing works tonight, you know how incredible it'll be?"
Seinfeld
"- It's like having Superman for a friend. - I know. It's like x-ray vision."
Seinfeld
"If we could just harness this power and use it for our own personal gain..."
Seinfeld
"- ...there'd be no stopping us. - Hey, hey, hey."
Seinfeld
"I hear you got some lip reader working for you. Let me use her once."
Seinfeld
"- Can't do it, Newman. - But, Jerry..."
Seinfeld
"...we got this new supervisor at the post office."
Seinfeld
"He's working behind glass. They're talking about me."
Seinfeld
"They're gonna transfer me. I know it! Two hours. Give me two hours."
Seinfeld
"It's not gonna happen!"
Seinfeld
"All right. All right. All right, you go ahead."
Seinfeld
"You go ahead. You keep it secret. But you remember this:"
Seinfeld
"When you control the mail, you control information."
Seinfeld
"Just pull over right by that stop sign."
Seinfeld
"- Pardon me, sir? - I said, pull over by the stop sign."
Seinfeld
"Oh, sorry. You'll have to forgive me. I can't hear a damn thing."
Seinfeld
"Went to a rock concert last night at the Garden."
Seinfeld
"My seats were right up against the speaker."
Seinfeld
"It's a heavy metal group, Metalli-something."
Seinfeld
"Ca."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Ca."
Seinfeld
"My ears are still ringing."
Seinfeld
"Some woman's idea of a joke."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"- Get out. Get out! - We'll never get there."
Seinfeld
"- Go on! - Okay."
Seinfeld
"Hey! Shut the door."
Seinfeld
"The whole idea of the car service was so I wouldn't have to fight traffic."
Seinfeld
"I know, I'm late. Hey, now I know two signs."
Seinfeld
""Check" and "late.""
Seinfeld
"Hey, this is my friend you helped become the first ball man."
Seinfeld
"Congratulations."
Seinfeld
"She doesn't know what she's talking about."
Seinfeld
"Guys, you made it."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey, buddy."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Todd. - Sorry to hear about Gwen."
Seinfeld
"Why, did she say something about why she broke up with me?"
Seinfeld
"No. Tonight will be the first chance I've had to talk to her."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"Look, George, I'm friends with both of you..."
Seinfeld
"...but I can't betray her confidence by telling you anything."
Seinfeld
"I wouldn't hear of it, Todd. It's none of my business."
Seinfeld
"But you should try and find out everything you possibly can."
Seinfeld
"In fact, I'll even stay all the way over on the other side of the room..."
Seinfeld
"...just so there's no chance of me overhearing anything."
Seinfeld
"- You are so centered. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"I've grown up."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God. There she is. Go ahead. Go ahead."
Seinfeld
"- Let's go, let's go. Get in position. - What?"
Seinfeld
"All right, all right. What are they saying?"
Seinfeld
"- "Hi, Gwen. " "Hi, Tide." - High tide?"
Seinfeld
""Hi, Todd.""
Seinfeld
""You got something between your teeth.""
Seinfeld
"- Where? - No, that's what he said."
Seinfeld
""That's interesting. I love carrots, but I hate carrot soup."
Seinfeld
"And I hate peas, but I love pea soup.""
Seinfeld
"- So do I. - This is so wild."
Seinfeld
"Can I borrow her for a few hours tomorrow?"
Seinfeld
"No. Then I'd have to lend her to everybody."
Seinfeld
"I don't envy you, Todd. This place is gonna be a mess."
Seinfeld
"Maybe you can stick around, and we can sweep together."
Seinfeld
""Why don't you stick around, and we can sleep together.""
Seinfeld
"- What? - "You want me to sleep with you?""
Seinfeld
"- I don't wanna sweep alone. - He says, "I don't wanna sleep alone.""
Seinfeld
"And she says- Oh, boy. "Love to.""
Seinfeld
"All right, that's it."
Seinfeld
"You get rid of me, now the two of you are gonna sleep together?"
Seinfeld
"- What? You're crazy. - "What? You're crazy.""
Seinfeld
"- I heard your whole conversation. - How?"
Seinfeld
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