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Clips from Galavant - Two Balls (S01E01)

"Am I right?"
Galavant
"Hello, Valencia! Here's one for you."
Galavant
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Galavant
"Why?"
Galavant
"Don't ask me. Ask the chicken!"
Galavant
"Ah, well, that's the end of my set, so thank you all, and good night!"
Galavant
"What the hell, man?"
Galavant
"We thought we should leave them wanting more."
Galavant
"Oh. I guess I buy that."
Galavant
"Valencians, who's hungry?"
Galavant
"Me. Me. Me. Me."
Galavant
"Oh, of course you are, my darlings."
Galavant
"Now, as you know, I've burnt all your crops..."
Galavant
"...But what you don't know is that"
Galavant
"I saved a healthy portion for me."
Galavant
"But if you can't have vegetables,"
Galavant
"then neither shall I."
Galavant
"Oh, I see it now. That was a horrible idea."
Galavant
"And now, for your listening pleasure, the executioners!"
Galavant
"♪ It's time to face the reaper ♪"
Galavant
"♪ You're on your way to hell ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Prepare to kiss this mortal coil goodbye ♪"
Galavant
"♪ But while you have the chance ♪"
Galavant
"♪ You might as well just dance ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Dance, dance, dance until you die ♪"
Galavant
"Everybody, boogie!"
Galavant
"♪ Your eyes will soon be bulging ♪"
Galavant
"♪ You'll beg and scream, as well ♪"
Galavant
"♪ You'll break down like a baby girl and cry ♪"
Galavant
"Congratulations, Sid."
Galavant
"Thank you!"
Galavant
"We are so proud of you, Sidney."
Galavant
"Every father dreams of his son being greater than he is,"
Galavant
"but no father dreams this big."
Galavant
"Oh, thanks, dad."
Galavant
"Just want to make you proud."
Galavant
"- Gloria... - Oh!"
Galavant
"If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were the princess."
Galavant
"Sid, she's a keeper!"
Galavant
"Mwah!"
Galavant
"We're so excited about our wedding, aren't we, Sid?"
Galavant
"Yay! There's much to plan."
Galavant
"You're going to look so handsome in your armor."
Galavant
"♪ Do the strangulation ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Do the asphyxiation ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Do the burn at the stake ♪"
Galavant
"♪ While you shimmy-shimmy-shake ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Dance, dance ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Dance, dance ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Dance, dance, dance until you die ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Dance, dance ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Dance, dance, dance until... ♪"
Galavant
"Stop!"
Galavant
"You guys aren't having any fun, are you?"
Galavant
"Time of my life."
Galavant
"I'm so hungry!"
Galavant
"Come on."
Galavant
"Pick any adjective to describe this ball."
Galavant
"It's all right!"
Galavant
"Safe throne room."
Galavant
"- Ill-conceived. - Okay."
Galavant
"A little shortsighted."
Galavant
"See, that's what I'm talking about!"
Galavant
"Come on! Do some more! Wait. Do me. Come on."
Galavant
"Tell me what you think of me. Roast away."
Galavant
"Pompous."
Galavant
"It's true! I am! Always have been!"
Galavant
"Ridiculous!"
Galavant
"Well, finally, somebody said it."
Galavant
"Stupidest king in all the land!"
Galavant
"How dare you?"
Galavant
"He's wearing tights!"
Galavant
"Oh, yes, I'm wearing tights! I'm so dainty!"
Galavant
"He'd have to be blind not to know that his wife's getting it on with the Jester!"
Galavant
"Am I right?!"
Galavant
"Party's over."
Galavant
"And, Gareth, kill the eunuch."
Galavant
"A word, my... liege."
Galavant
"Mm-hmm. Excuse me."
Galavant
"Squires."
Galavant
"You have no idea how mortified I am, sir."
Galavant
"- I promise that tomorrow, I'm... - Do you know why I hired you, Sid?"
Galavant
"I assumed you'd lost a bet."
Galavant
"Everyone else filled their résumés"
Galavant
"with skills that would impress me..."
Galavant
"Horse-shoeing or sword-sharpening."
Galavant
"But you were yourself. You told me who you were..."
Galavant
"A late sleeper and a lover of dolls."
Galavant
"Figurines. Detailed figurines."
Galavant
"Right, so, fancy dolls."
Galavant
"But anyway, the point is, it's the hardest thing in the world"
Galavant
"to find someone who is true to themselves, and it's the thing I love most about you."
Galavant
"- Did you just say you... - Don't ruin this."
Galavant
"It occurs to me that being a squire"
Galavant
"isn't a great job to begin with."
Galavant
"And being mine is probably worse."
Galavant
"But you never complained."
Galavant
"Not once."
Galavant
"You never abandoned me, never spit in my ale."
Galavant
"- Right? You've never done that. - Of course not, sir."
Galavant
"Look, I'll play any part you want me to play here."
Galavant
"But you should be proud of the man you are."
Galavant
"I know I certainly am."
Galavant
"What was that?"
Galavant
"That, my lady, was a knight getting off his high horse."
Galavant
"Mom, dad, there's something I need to tell you."
Galavant
"Well, I'll be damned."
Galavant
"I wouldn't drink that."
Galavant
"Well, why not? I've already drunk half of it."
Galavant
"Yeah, just carry on. It's fine."
Galavant