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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Work Family (S01E01)

"It's a simple, fun game where we write down a little fact"
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"about ourselves on these cards,"
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"something you think no one else knows."
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"Then the cards are shuffled,"
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"and we try to figure out who each secret belongs to."
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"It's so fun."
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"- When do we get the chicken? - When you tell a secret."
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"My cousin turned down the hit on Bobby Kennedy."
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"Not that kind of secret, and we write it down."
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"Janine, please, just give me the food."
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"Guys, you get the wings when you say the things."
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"Okay."
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"(indistinct whispering)"
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"Don't love being left out of huddles."
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"Okay."
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"Oh, I can feel us getting closer already."
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"Okay, Sister Sledge, let's get this over with."
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"All right. So, "I once drank three cups of coffee,"
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"thinking it was decaf,"
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"and started tap-dancing in front of my students"?"
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"- MELISSA: Wasn't me. - Okay, I no longer"
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"- keep tap shoes in my classroom. - JANINE: Okay."
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""I won a bronze medal for a hammer throw"
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"in the 1976 Olympics.""
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"What can I say?"
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"The rumors about the Olympic Village are true."
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"JANINE: Let's move on."
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""I once impersonated Jill Scott"
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"to get free bottle service at Xfinity Live!""
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"You don't even look like Jill Scott."
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"To white people in South Philly I do."
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"- (cellphone vibrates) - Sorry. I got to take this."
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"Okay. Hurry back."
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"Hey, Pop."
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"Gregory...you get a chance"
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"to look at those job listings I e-mailed you?"
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"You know, I-I haven't -- I haven't gotten around to it yet."
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"Get around to it."
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"When you gonna quit your babysitting gig,"
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"get yourself a real job?"
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"You know who else could teach a first grader?"
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"A second grader."
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"(chuckles) That's funny, sir."
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"I actually, um, applied"
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"to a few other principal jobs at other schools."
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"I'm just waiting to hear back."
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"Why don't you come work at the landscaping company with me?"
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"This school idea, I don't get it."
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"You've been trying to become a principal"
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"since you left college."
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"Come do a real man's job. Time to grow up, Gregory."
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"(clicks tongue) I will consider that, sir."
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"- I'll take it. - (chuckles)"
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"All right."
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"(cellphone chimes)"
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"(sighs)"
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"You loved Green Book?"
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"It is a well-made film, okay?"
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"Do I think it's the most astute observation on race relations?"
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"No. But did I cry at the end? Almost."
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"Okay, um, Gregory, why don't you pull a card?"
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"Uh, I think I'll pass on this one, thanks."
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"Okay. No chicken for you."
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"All right. So I'll go."
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"This mystery person says,"
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""I've been dating my boyfriend since eighth grade.""
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"(chuckles) Ooh! I wonder who this could be."
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"Wait. Like, off and on?"
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"Well, who says it's me? But no, just on."
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"- The whole time? - Yeah."
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"But you've dated lots of other people?"
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"Nope."
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"Why are you all looking at me like that?"
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"Janine, sweetheart,"
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"you have only dated one man your entire life?"
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"Yeah."
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"No women? Nobody else, ever?"
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"That just answers so many things. I mean..."
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"(laughs) Somebody get me a chair."
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"(laughing)"
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"(thud)"
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"Is -- Is the guy rich?"
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"No, not monetarily. He's an aspiring musician."
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"So he broke? Somebody get me a fresh chair."
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"Look, you don't know Tariq."
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"He's sweet. He's caring. He's ambitious."
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"Jacob knows."
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"Oh, I've..."
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"He's very spirited."
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"Spirited?"
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"I could use a little bit more help than that, Jacob."
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"You know, he's...confident."
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"And, um, he's a real extemporaneous thinker."
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"BARBARA: Hmm!"
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"I-I'm still getting to know him, I guess."
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"Et tu, work friend?"
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"You were beatboxing with him this morning."
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"Did that mean nothing?"
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"(beatboxing) One joystick."
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"(imitates record scratching) Wait."
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"Does that mean that you're, like, secretly Mormon?"
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"- No. - Oh."
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"You should be 'cause you need more men."
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"- Can I get it? (laughs) - Barbara!"
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"I'm sorry, Janine, but that was actually very clever."
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"Look, this is the man I'm going to marry."
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"Janine, when people get married, they try a lot of cakes."
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"Have you had two slices of cake at one time?"
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"I can tell you, when I was at the Olympic Village..."
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"You know what? He is a good guy, and I love him."
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"But how do you know if this has only been the one guy?"
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"But haven't you ever worri-- wondered,"
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"like, what -- who else is out there?"
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"- I mean, you've only... - Janine, you need to grow up."
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"BARBARA: The whole time, one guy?"
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"Ohh!"
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"Ohh."
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"Oh. Hold on. You're gonna get drenched."
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"Thanks."
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"You okay?"
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