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Clips from Cheers - The Heart Is a Lonely Snipehunter (S03E03)

DO YOU HAVE TO?

"DO YOU HAVE TO?"

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WHAT'S THE GOOD OF GIVING A GUY THE SHAFT

"WHAT'S THE GOOD OF GIVING A GUY THE SHAFT"

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IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH IN HIS FACE ABOUT IT?

"IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH IN HIS FACE ABOUT IT?"

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YOU LISTEN TO ME, SAM MALONE.

"YOU LISTEN TO ME, SAM MALONE."

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NOW, THIS MAY BE HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND--

"NOW, THIS MAY BE HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND--"

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MOST THINGS ARE-- BUT FINDING OUT

"MOST THINGS ARE-- BUT FINDING OUT"

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IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE

"IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE"

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THAT HE WAS THE BUTT OF YOUR JOKE

"THAT HE WAS THE BUTT OF YOUR JOKE"

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WOULD BE DEVASTATING TO FRASIER.

"WOULD BE DEVASTATING TO FRASIER."

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HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THE ODD MAN OUT.

"HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THE ODD MAN OUT."

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EVEN WHEN HE WAS A CHILD

"EVEN WHEN HE WAS A CHILD"

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AND THE KIDS WOULD CHOOSE UP SIDES FOR SOFTBALL,

"AND THE KIDS WOULD CHOOSE UP SIDES FOR SOFTBALL,"

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HE WAS ALWAYS THE LAST ONE PICKED.

"HE WAS ALWAYS THE LAST ONE PICKED."

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"YOU TAKE THE GIRL, AND WE'LL TAKE FRASIER."

""YOU TAKE THE GIRL, AND WE'LL TAKE FRASIER.""

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YEAH, I REMEMBER. I ALWAYS USED TO FEEL SORRY FOR THOSE GUYS,

"YEAH, I REMEMBER. I ALWAYS USED TO FEEL SORRY FOR THOSE GUYS,"

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EVEN WHEN I WAS DOING IT TO THEM.

"EVEN WHEN I WAS DOING IT TO THEM."

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YEAH. FRASIER WAS LUCKY.

"YEAH. FRASIER WAS LUCKY."

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SOME CHILDREN WERE LAUGHED OFF THE PLAYGROUND ENTIRELY.

"SOME CHILDREN WERE LAUGHED OFF THE PLAYGROUND ENTIRELY."

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OH, NOT ME, OF COURSE. I WAS ALWAYS OUT THERE.

"OH, NOT ME, OF COURSE. I WAS ALWAYS OUT THERE."

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AND YOU STILL ARE.

"AND YOU STILL ARE."

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WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'M JUST LUCKY,

"WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'M JUST LUCKY,"

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BUT NOTHING LIKE THAT EVER REALLY HAPPENED TO ME.

"BUT NOTHING LIKE THAT EVER REALLY HAPPENED TO ME."

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WAIT A MINUTE, SAM.

"WAIT A MINUTE, SAM."

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WHAT ABOUT WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WEREN'T EVEN INVITED

"WHAT ABOUT WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WEREN'T EVEN INVITED"

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TO THE RED SOX ALUMNI DINNER THIS YEAR?

"TO THE RED SOX ALUMNI DINNER THIS YEAR?"

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I WASN'T INVITED TO THE ALUMNI DINNER?

"I WASN'T INVITED TO THE ALUMNI DINNER?"

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NO, NO. WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?

"NO, NO. WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?"

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THEY'RE NOT EVEN HAVING A DINNER.

"THEY'RE NOT EVEN HAVING A DINNER."

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BUT WHILE I'M THINKING ABOUT IT,

"BUT WHILE I'M THINKING ABOUT IT,"

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CAN I HAVE SATURDAY NIGHT OFF?

"CAN I HAVE SATURDAY NIGHT OFF?"

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WHAT FOR?

"WHAT FOR?"

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UH, DEATH IN THE FAMILY.

"UH, DEATH IN THE FAMILY."

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SURE.

"SURE."

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HEY, SAM, COME ON. WE GOT TO TELL FRASIER.

"HEY, SAM, COME ON. WE GOT TO TELL FRASIER."

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YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LAUGH FEST, HUH?

"YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LAUGH FEST, HUH?"

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WE DON'T HAVE TO TELL FRASIER!

"WE DON'T HAVE TO TELL FRASIER!"

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AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO, EVER.

"AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO, EVER."

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THEN WHY'D WE DO IT?

"THEN WHY'D WE DO IT?"

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WELL, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY BORED WITH LIP DIDDLING.

"WELL, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY BORED WITH LIP DIDDLING."

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HE'S GOING TO FIND OUT EVENTUALLY, DIANE.

"HE'S GOING TO FIND OUT EVENTUALLY, DIANE."

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YEAH, AND WE SHOULD BE THE ONES THAT TELL HIM,

"YEAH, AND WE SHOULD BE THE ONES THAT TELL HIM,"

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BECAUSE WE DID ALL THE HARD WORK.

"BECAUSE WE DID ALL THE HARD WORK."

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HE MIGHT NOT FIND OUT.

"HE MIGHT NOT FIND OUT."

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FRASIER ISN'T AN OUTDOORSMAN.

"FRASIER ISN'T AN OUTDOORSMAN."

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HE DOESN'T HANG AROUND WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

"HE DOESN'T HANG AROUND WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT."

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IF HE SHOULD FIND OUT ABOUT IT YEARS LATER,

"IF HE SHOULD FIND OUT ABOUT IT YEARS LATER,"

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HE'LL BE ABLE TO LAUGH ABOUT IT FROM A DISTANCE,

"HE'LL BE ABLE TO LAUGH ABOUT IT FROM A DISTANCE,"

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ESPECIALLY IF SOME OR ALL OF YOU ARE DEAD.

"ESPECIALLY IF SOME OR ALL OF YOU ARE DEAD."

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THAT ISN'T ASKING TOO MUCH, IS IT?

"THAT ISN'T ASKING TOO MUCH, IS IT?"

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[ALL MUTTERING]

"[ALL MUTTERING]"

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SAM...

"SAM..."

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WHAT?

"WHAT?"

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THERE'S ONE OTHER THING I WANT YOU TO KNOW.

"THERE'S ONE OTHER THING I WANT YOU TO KNOW."

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LORD KNOWS WHY, BUT...

"LORD KNOWS WHY, BUT..."

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FRASIER THINKS OF YOU AS A FRIEND.

"FRASIER THINKS OF YOU AS A FRIEND."

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AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE THINKS OF YOU

"AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE THINKS OF YOU"

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AS ONE OF HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS.

"AS ONE OF HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS."

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GET OUT OF HERE.

"GET OUT OF HERE."

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HE DOES, SAM.

"HE DOES, SAM."

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GEE, WHAT A BOO...

"GEE, WHAT A BOO..."

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BOO...

"BOO..."

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BOOTIFUL GUY HE IS.

"BOOTIFUL GUY HE IS."

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ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY.

"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY."

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FELLAS, NOBODY TELLS FRASIER THE TRUTH

"FELLAS, NOBODY TELLS FRASIER THE TRUTH"

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ABOUT THE SNIPE HUNT, OK?

"ABOUT THE SNIPE HUNT, OK?"

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WELL, IT'S A STUPID OVERSIGHT!

"WELL, IT'S A STUPID OVERSIGHT!"

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IF SAM MALONE ISN'T INVITED, I'M NOT COMING.

"IF SAM MALONE ISN'T INVITED, I'M NOT COMING."

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[QUIETLY] I'M ONLY KIDDING.

"[QUIETLY] I'M ONLY KIDDING."

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I'LL BE THERE, 8:00 SHARP.

"I'LL BE THERE, 8:00 SHARP."

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WRONG NUMBER.

"WRONG NUMBER."

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THANK YOU, EVERYONE.

"THANK YOU, EVERYONE."

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BELIEVE ME, IT'S BEST TO JUST LET THIS MATTER DROP.

"BELIEVE ME, IT'S BEST TO JUST LET THIS MATTER DROP."

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NO NEED FOR FRASIER TO SUFFER ANY EMBARRASSMENT.

"NO NEED FOR FRASIER TO SUFFER ANY EMBARRASSMENT."

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LET THE MATTER DROP? I HEARD THAT, DIANE.

"LET THE MATTER DROP? I HEARD THAT, DIANE."

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I DESERTED MY POST,

"I DESERTED MY POST,"

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AND NOW I NEED A WOMAN TO PLEAD MY CASE.

"AND NOW I NEED A WOMAN TO PLEAD MY CASE."

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FRASIER, IF YOU FEEL THAT STRONG ABOUT IT,

"FRASIER, IF YOU FEEL THAT STRONG ABOUT IT,"

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MAYBE WE COULD TAKE ANOTHER SHOT AT IT.

"MAYBE WE COULD TAKE ANOTHER SHOT AT IT."

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YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME?

"YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME?"

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OH, YEAH, YEAH! YOU BET WE WOULD.

"OH, YEAH, YEAH! YOU BET WE WOULD."

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FINE. WELL, LET'S GET BACK OUT THERE!

"FINE. WELL, LET'S GET BACK OUT THERE!"

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OUT WHERE?

"OUT WHERE?"

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OUT IN THE WILDS,

"OUT IN THE WILDS,"

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WHERE THE SNIPE RUN FREE!

"WHERE THE SNIPE RUN FREE!"

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WHEN I WAS IN THE MEN'S ROOM, I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR,

"WHEN I WAS IN THE MEN'S ROOM, I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR,"

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AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SAW?

"AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SAW?"

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A QUITTER, A MAN WHO LETS HIS BUDDIES DOWN.

"A QUITTER, A MAN WHO LETS HIS BUDDIES DOWN."

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I WANT TO PROVE MYSELF.

"I WANT TO PROVE MYSELF."

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WELL, HEAR THAT, GUYS?

"WELL, HEAR THAT, GUYS?"

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LOOKS LIKE FRASIER WANTS TO GO BACK OUT THERE AGAIN TONIGHT.

"LOOKS LIKE FRASIER WANTS TO GO BACK OUT THERE AGAIN TONIGHT."

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ABSOLUTELY I WANT TO GO BACK OUT THERE AGAIN TONIGHT!

"ABSOLUTELY I WANT TO GO BACK OUT THERE AGAIN TONIGHT!"

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YOU KNOW WHAT TONIGHT IS? IT'S THE NIGHT OF THE FULL MOON.

"YOU KNOW WHAT TONIGHT IS? IT'S THE NIGHT OF THE FULL MOON."

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SAM TOLD ME THAT SNIPE RUN BEST WHEN IT'S A FULL MOON.

"SAM TOLD ME THAT SNIPE RUN BEST WHEN IT'S A FULL MOON."

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I SAID THAT.

"I SAID THAT."

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THAT'S RIGHT! AND YOU SAID THEY'D BE RUNNING ALL NIGHT LONG, RIGHT?

"THAT'S RIGHT! AND YOU SAID THEY'D BE RUNNING ALL NIGHT LONG, RIGHT?"

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I SAID THAT, TOO.

"I SAID THAT, TOO."

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WELL, THEN, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

"WELL, THEN, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?"

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NOTHING. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

"NOTHING. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"

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FRASIER, I REALLY GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU.

"FRASIER, I REALLY GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU."

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YOU'RE THE FIRST BAGGER I EVER MET WITH ENOUGH STAMINA

"YOU'RE THE FIRST BAGGER I EVER MET WITH ENOUGH STAMINA"

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TO GO SNIPE HUNTING TWICE IN THE SAME NIGHT.

"TO GO SNIPE HUNTING TWICE IN THE SAME NIGHT."

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YOU'RE GOING TO GO DOWN IN THE ANNALS OF SNIPE HUNTING.

"YOU'RE GOING TO GO DOWN IN THE ANNALS OF SNIPE HUNTING."

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SAM, PLEASE.

"SAM, PLEASE."

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OH, YEAH, YEAH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH

"OH, YEAH, YEAH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH"

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FOR MAKING US PROMISE NOT TO TELL HIM.

"FOR MAKING US PROMISE NOT TO TELL HIM."

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THIS WAY, WE GOT TO GIVE HIM A DOUBLE WHAMMY.

"THIS WAY, WE GOT TO GIVE HIM A DOUBLE WHAMMY."

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FRASIER, BEFORE YOU GO,

"FRASIER, BEFORE YOU GO,"

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I NEED A MOMENT ALONE WITH YOU.

"I NEED A MOMENT ALONE WITH YOU."

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CAN'T THIS WAIT TILL TOMORROW?

"CAN'T THIS WAIT TILL TOMORROW?"

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YEAH. WE'RE FEELING THE THRILL OF THE HUNT.

"YEAH. WE'RE FEELING THE THRILL OF THE HUNT."

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YEAH. SO IS FRASIER.

"YEAH. SO IS FRASIER."

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FRASIER.

"FRASIER."

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WOMEN.

"WOMEN."

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I GUESS SHE WANTS TO KISS ME OR SOMETHING.

"I GUESS SHE WANTS TO KISS ME OR SOMETHING."

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WELL, YOU HAVE TO INDULGE THEM, YOU KNOW.

"WELL, YOU HAVE TO INDULGE THEM, YOU KNOW."

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DAMES.

"DAMES."

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YEAH. THAT IS WHY I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

"YEAH. THAT IS WHY I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND."

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REASON NUMBER 27.

"REASON NUMBER 27."

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FRASIER, SOMETIMES PEOPLE DO THOUGHTLESS THINGS.

"FRASIER, SOMETIMES PEOPLE DO THOUGHTLESS THINGS."

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THEY DON'T MEAN ANY HARM.

"THEY DON'T MEAN ANY HARM."

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