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Clips from Central Park - Episode One (S01E01)

-I think I'm allergic to dogs. -No, you're not.

"-I think I'm allergic to dogs. -No, you're not."

Central Park

Well, I'm allergic to your shenanigans, mister, so knock it off.

"Well, I'm allergic to your shenanigans, mister, so knock it off."

Central Park

-What? -Oh, gosh. I'm beat.

"-What? -Oh, gosh. I'm beat."

Central Park

-Are you beat? Should we go home? -Come on. Let's go.

"-Are you beat? Should we go home? -Come on. Let's go."

Central Park

Damn.

"Damn."

Central Park

Blar. Destroy.

"Blar. Destroy."

Central Park

Evil robot from the future.

"Evil robot from the future."

Central Park

You can't stop us, Fista Puffs,

"You can't stop us, Fista Puffs,"

Central Park

puny girl hero who's never even kissed anyone.

"puny girl hero who's never even kissed anyone."

Central Park

Okay. That doesn't seem relevant.

"Okay. That doesn't seem relevant."

Central Park

It's pretty relevant.

"It's pretty relevant."

Central Park

-What do we do? -I'll go for his legs with my hair.

"-What do we do? -I'll go for his legs with my hair."

Central Park

You go for his head with your kite.

"You go for his head with your kite."

Central Park

A kite. What are you trying to do? Delight me to death?

"A kite. What are you trying to do? Delight me to death?"

Central Park

-Are you drawing me? -I-- No.

"-Are you drawing me? -I-- No."

Central Park

Really? "Kite Boy"?

"Really? "Kite Boy"?"

Central Park

Oh, look at that. You have a-- You have a kite too.

"Oh, look at that. You have a-- You have a kite too."

Central Park

That's a-- What a crazy coincidence.

"That's a-- What a crazy coincidence."

Central Park

Well, I like your drawing style.

"Well, I like your drawing style."

Central Park

I...

"I..."

Central Park

My name is Brendan.

"My name is Brendan."

Central Park

Mol-- Sorry. Molly.

"Mol-- Sorry. Molly."

Central Park

-You okay? -Yep, yep, yep...

"-You okay? -Yep, yep, yep..."

Central Park

-Okay. I have to go. -Okay.

"-Okay. I have to go. -Okay."

Central Park

I'll probably see you around

"I'll probably see you around"

Central Park

since I saw you here last week behind this same rock.

"since I saw you here last week behind this same rock."

Central Park

That was someone who looks like me.

"That was someone who looks like me."

Central Park

I mean, unless you're cool with it, and then it was me.

"I mean, unless you're cool with it, and then it was me."

Central Park

Yep, you're gone, so...

"Yep, you're gone, so..."

Central Park

Bye!

"Bye!"

Central Park

Well, we looked everywhere. That dog is clearly dead.

"Well, we looked everywhere. That dog is clearly dead."

Central Park

You said that, like, 25 times.

"You said that, like, 25 times."

Central Park

That doesn't make it less true.

"That doesn't make it less true."

Central Park

Wait, did you hear that?

"Wait, did you hear that?"

Central Park

What's that? What are you doing?

"What's that? What are you doing?"

Central Park

Dog call to try to get the dog to come.

"Dog call to try to get the dog to come."

Central Park

Well, that worked, huh?

"Well, that worked, huh?"

Central Park

Is this the dog? This is the dog.

"Is this the dog? This is the dog."

Central Park

Why do you have the dog? How long have you had him?

"Why do you have the dog? How long have you had him?"

Central Park

-What time is it? -Around 4:00.

"-What time is it? -Around 4:00."

Central Park

-Since yesterday. -What?

"-Since yesterday. -What?"

Central Park

We need to get this dog returned as quickly as possible

"We need to get this dog returned as quickly as possible"

Central Park

so people stop tearing up my park.

"so people stop tearing up my park."

Central Park

Wait, Dad. Can we sidebar?

"Wait, Dad. Can we sidebar?"

Central Park

I have a totally unrelated question.

"I have a totally unrelated question."

Central Park

You know how you've always said we should get a dog?

"You know how you've always said we should get a dog?"

Central Park

I've never said that in my life, Cole.

"I've never said that in my life, Cole."

Central Park

He was covered in perfume when I found him.

"He was covered in perfume when I found him."

Central Park

I was like, "Who puts perfume on a dog? That's messed up."

"I was like, "Who puts perfume on a dog? That's messed up.""

Central Park

Doesn't matter, Cole.

"Doesn't matter, Cole."

Central Park

Bitsy is a rich old lady, and this is her little rich dog.

"Bitsy is a rich old lady, and this is her little rich dog."

Central Park

But I love him, Dad.

"But I love him, Dad."

Central Park

I know it looks like dognapping behavior

"I know it looks like dognapping behavior"

Central Park

But trust me, Dad I'm this furry guy's savior

"But trust me, Dad I'm this furry guy's savior"

Central Park

Trapped up in the tower With only Bitsy to nuzzle

"Trapped up in the tower With only Bitsy to nuzzle"

Central Park

Shampagne is like a way better Rapunzel

"Shampagne is like a way better Rapunzel"

Central Park

And it's not like I took him If anything, he took me

"And it's not like I took him If anything, he took me"

Central Park

He took my breath away When he was taking a pee

"He took my breath away When he was taking a pee"

Central Park

Putting aside This is probably against the law

"Putting aside This is probably against the law"

Central Park

That's just a tiny flaw

"That's just a tiny flaw"

Central Park

Son, you can't have a dog

"Son, you can't have a dog"

Central Park

Let me keep this dog And I will never not walk him

"Let me keep this dog And I will never not walk him"

Central Park

I know that's a double negative But I'm smart

"I know that's a double negative But I'm smart"

Central Park

And I'll take him to the veterinarian When he's ill

"And I'll take him to the veterinarian When he's ill"

Central Park

I'll get some peanut butter To help him swallow his pill

"I'll get some peanut butter To help him swallow his pill"

Central Park

Right now, he's a lapdog In the lap of luxury

"Right now, he's a lapdog In the lap of luxury"

Central Park

But he shouldn't be cooped up He should be out there running free

"But he shouldn't be cooped up He should be out there running free"

Central Park

Look at his eyes Can't you see that he's sad, man?

"Look at his eyes Can't you see that he's sad, man?"

Central Park

I'll clean up his poops You can call me Mr. Bag Hands

"I'll clean up his poops You can call me Mr. Bag Hands"

Central Park

"Mr. Bag Hands"?

""Mr. Bag Hands"?"

Central Park

-When he poops, I'll pick it up -You'll pick it up?

"-When he poops, I'll pick it up -You'll pick it up?"

Central Park

I'll pick it up When he poops, I'll pick it up

"I'll pick it up When he poops, I'll pick it up"

Central Park

-No, you won't. -I will, I love that dog

"-No, you won't. -I will, I love that dog"

Central Park

Son, we gotta think about the consequence

"Son, we gotta think about the consequence"

Central Park

What if we are sent to doggy jail For this?

"What if we are sent to doggy jail For this?"

Central Park

Can't keep this dog

"Can't keep this dog"

Central Park

Papa, I believe this puppy's heaven-sent

"Papa, I believe this puppy's heaven-sent"

Central Park

I promise to pick up his every excrement

"I promise to pick up his every excrement"

Central Park

-I love you, Dad. -I love you too, son.

"-I love you, Dad. -I love you too, son."

Central Park

We're not keeping the dog.

"We're not keeping the dog."

Central Park

Hey! There's my boys.

"Hey! There's my boys."

Central Park

Oh, it's your mom.

"Oh, it's your mom."

Central Park

So, in conclusion, my son kidnapped the dog.

"So, in conclusion, my son kidnapped the dog."

Central Park

There's my article.

"There's my article."

Central Park

Rescued. Does anyone maybe think "rescued" works better in this situation?

"Rescued. Does anyone maybe think "rescued" works better in this situation?"

Central Park

-I can't write any of this. -We're gonna say we found it.

"-I can't write any of this. -We're gonna say we found it."

Central Park

And we're gonna return the dog without mentioning when we found it.

"And we're gonna return the dog without mentioning when we found it."

Central Park

And we're gonna be lying liars. And you are in huge trouble.

"And we're gonna be lying liars. And you are in huge trouble."

Central Park

I don't love the last part.

"I don't love the last part."

Central Park

Oh, my God. You're adorable.

"Oh, my God. You're adorable."

Central Park

I get it. I totally get it. Let's keep him.

"I get it. I totally get it. Let's keep him."

Central Park

No, I'm kidding. I'm absolutely kidding.

"No, I'm kidding. I'm absolutely kidding."

Central Park

We can't keep him. You guys should return him.

"We can't keep him. You guys should return him."

Central Park

Oh, Shampagne! Look at you. Someone needs a blowout.

"Oh, Shampagne! Look at you. Someone needs a blowout."

Central Park

I suppose you'll be wanting the reward.

"I suppose you'll be wanting the reward."

Central Park

Oh, no. I'm the park manager. I'm just doing my job.

"Oh, no. I'm the park manager. I'm just doing my job."

Central Park

I don't want any money.

"I don't want any money."

Central Park

-Park manager? -What?

"-Park manager? -What?"

Central Park

Let's both be strong, okay?

"Let's both be strong, okay?"

Central Park

And don't you start crying, or I'll start crying.

"And don't you start crying, or I'll start crying."

Central Park

Okay. Okay. Sheesh. Clingy, huh?

"Okay. Okay. Sheesh. Clingy, huh?"

Central Park

You smell weird.

"You smell weird."

Central Park

He smells weird. What did you do to him?

"He smells weird. What did you do to him?"

Central Park

Rinsed him off with a hose.

"Rinsed him off with a hose."

Central Park

Maybe don't do that.

"Maybe don't do that."

Central Park

Dogs don't really like that.

"Dogs don't really like that."

Central Park

Oh, wait. Shampagne found this flip-flop.

"Oh, wait. Shampagne found this flip-flop."

Central Park

We played tug-of-war with it for hours.

"We played tug-of-war with it for hours."

Central Park

I mean, a couple of minutes.

"I mean, a couple of minutes."

Central Park

But now he loves it.

"But now he loves it."

Central Park

Oh, yuck.

"Oh, yuck."

Central Park

He's not himself. He missed his massage this week.

"He's not himself. He missed his massage this week."

Central Park

I think we should go.

"I think we should go."

Central Park

Where is the button? Why is there no button?

"Where is the button? Why is there no button?"

Central Park

It's right there.

"It's right there."

Central Park

-That's ridiculous! -Oh, is it, Mr. Park Manager?

"-That's ridiculous! -Oh, is it, Mr. Park Manager?"

Central Park

Are you an elevator button expert too? A double threat?

"Are you an elevator button expert too? A double threat?"

Central Park

No howling! No howling!

"No howling! No howling!"

Central Park

Good luck managing the park. That's gonna go great for you.

"Good luck managing the park. That's gonna go great for you."

Central Park

Wait. What's that supposed to mean? Now it closes.

"Wait. What's that supposed to mean? Now it closes."

Central Park

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