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Clips from Central Park - Mother's Daze (S02E02)

"[Helen] ♪ Remember how to chill and how to relax ♪"
Central Park
"- ♪ This is it? ♪ - [chorus] ♪ This is it ♪"
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"♪ How many moles Are there on that guy's back? ♪"
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"[groans]"
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"[sighs] Let's just give her the scarf and the fake pearls and a note that says,"
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""Sorry we're such terrible children."
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"Here's a coupon to trade us in for some new ones."
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"Maybe some fun twins. Everyone likes twins.""
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"Damn you, Mom, for being so loving and thoughtful."
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"Mother's Day would've been so easy if she was mean."
Central Park
"Hmm. Cole, check out that lady over there."
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"Huh. Great hair, but I'm pretty sure that's a mannequin."
Central Park
"No, over there. Look at her sweatshirt."
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""Number one mom." It's not true because our mom is number one."
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"Yeah, it's not a great sweatshirt."
Central Park
"It's clearly homemade, but that mom looks so happy."
Central Park
"Excuse me. Hi. Quick question. Uh, your daughter made that, right?"
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"- You didn't buy something of that quality? - [rips]"
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"She sure did make it. Isn't it something? I love it."
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"What do you mean, "something of that quality"?"
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"Nothing. It's so good."
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"Yeah, I nailed it. As long as you never wash it."
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"Cole, we gotta make Mom something, ourselves."
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"What? But I thought we were past making stuff."
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"We graduated to the big leagues!"
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"What about going all out, being a big boy and spending big-boy money?"
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"We're trying so hard with this buying stuff stuff,"
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"but I think moms actually really love homemade stuff."
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"'Cause we made it. And they love us? Makes me feel bad for them, but--"
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"Well, I can't make a pearl."
Central Park
"Or can I? [strains]"
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"All we have to do is make her"
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"the most incredible Mother's Day card the world has ever seen."
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"Colored pencils, stickers, glitter, the works."
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"We've gotta be at the zoo at 2:00. That's a lot of pressure."
Central Park
"Oh, God. I can't feel my hands, my card-making hands."
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"- What's happening to me? - You'll be fine. Let's go."
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"Please, please, please."
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"Pretty, pretty, pretty please?"
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"- Dang it. Should we Indiana Jones this? - Shoot him?"
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"It's my day. Kidding, kidding."
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"Give him something to swap it out."
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"Oh, you like that?"
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"I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Yes!"
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"I am so proud of you, sweetie. You gave away my flower, but that's fine."
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""The last clue that you must not miss is where the honey eater does the twist.""
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"Babe, I need you. I need your park brain."
Central Park
"You know all the park stuff. What's "honey eater" mean?"
Central Park
"- Uh, uh-- - Faster, faster."
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"- I need your park knowledge. - You're scaring me."
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"Oh! Honey eater. Bears eat honey. A bear. Anything with a bear?"
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"There's a statue of a bear by the zoo."
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"I don't know if it's doing the twist, technically, but it is dancing."
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"[kisses] You magnificent bastard. Let's go."
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"[Bitsy] I know you're a bellhop,"
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"but as long as the drinks are stiff, no one will notice."
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"I don't know how to make a drink. I'm a Mormon."
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"- Right now? - Where's Lionel?"
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"Lionel went to go stink up the Dagmont, and no one cares."
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"This guy's great, and you're gonna love him."
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"- Oh, gotta go. - You blew it."
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"- What's Bitsy gonna do? - [strumming]"
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"Without a bar, a New York City hotel is just a weird bed museum."
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"Ooh, what's this? Why did Helen come back so soon?"
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"Turns out she's good at a lot of things, but relaxing is not one of them."
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"Musical flashback."
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"♪ This is it Doing nothing's clearly not my skill ♪"
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"♪ This is it I'd rather be working it ♪"
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"♪ Hustling, playing the game For the Brandenham will ♪"
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"♪ It's the day you've been waiting for ♪"
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"♪ Call me if you're ever in town ♪"
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"♪ This is it ♪"
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"♪ You can come And you can let your hair down ♪"
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"I tried to make a Schnapps Goes the Weasel."
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"[spits] Ugh! Way too much weasel."
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"- [Helen] I'm back. - [Bitsy] Helen, you're late."
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"- Or early. I don't know. What day is it? - Where's Lionel?"
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"He quit. He's at the Dagmont."
Central Park
"Oh, my God. He did the old wait-until-Helen-was-gone"
Central Park
"and-then-try-to-talk-to-you-as if-you-know how-to-talk-to-humans trick, huh?"
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"Go get him. Go bring him back."
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"Make drinkies for Bitsy."
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"Oh, no. You're coming with me."
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"And that's why they named the show Frasier."
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"[laughs] I love this guy. Mom can have lunch by herself."
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"[Helen] Hey, Lionel, pour us a drink, will you?"
Central Park
"That was a dramatic entrance."
Central Park
"It's a gift. Now, Bitsy, is there something you want to say to Lionel?"
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"- Mmm. - While we walked over here,"
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"- we talked about... - [groans]"
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"- Hiring back the service bartenders. - Louder."
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"Hiring back the service bartenders! [grunts]"
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"- And? - A "sorry, I was wrong" bonus."
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"- Deal. - You couldn't leave the Brandenham."
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"I did leave the Brandenham. You couldn't leave the Brandenham."
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"- But you came back. - You came back too."
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"- [sighs] What's wrong with us? - We're broken."
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"- Schnapps Goes The Weasel? - Oh, dear God, yes!"
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"The bear by the zoo. He's doing the twist."
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"He is so doing the twist. Where's the plaque?"
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"Where's the plaque? Where the p-- Ha! Plaque!"
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"Excuse me, this one's better. Over here."
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"Right this way. There you go."
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"We're gonna solve this."
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""There was no crime, but there is a treasure."
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"Her name's Paige Hunter, the best mom ever.""
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"Owen, did you-- It's not coming off."
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"- And it never will. It's real. - Happy Mother's Day!"
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"Oh, my babies."
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"And we're here because this spot is very important to our family."
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"- Do you remember this bench, Paige? - No. [gasps]"
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"- Wait a minute. Was this where-- - Mm-hmm."
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"Before I knew I was pregnant with Molly, this is where I threw up."
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"Some hit a squirrel. I'm impressed. I'm so, so impressed."
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"We wanted to go all out for you just like you do for us."
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"I thought of the bank robber theme."
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"I gave notes on the plaques and was critical to the gluing process."
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"And I did the greatest acting job of all time."
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"It was easy 'cause I do hate unsanctioned plaques."
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"They're the bane of society. Only a monster would put them up."
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