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Clips from The Bob Newhart Show - Fly the Unfriendly Skies (S01E01)

"I mean, I thought you told me it was gonna be a small group."
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"Well, it is a small group. There- There are only about 2O people."
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"No. Three is a small group. Twenty people is a mob."
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"I mean, I can't speak in front of a lot of people."
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"I just fall to pieces. I really fall to pieces."
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"Somethings wrong. I know it. Somethings wrong with the building."
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"[No Audible Dialogue]"
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"Just-just take a few deep breaths and relax. You'll be fine."
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"All right. Y-You want to start with some questions?"
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"- Uh,yeah. - Yes?"
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"Uh, I read in this magazine that your pilots today..."
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"suffer from this ailment caused by flying too many hours at too fast a speed."
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"I-It's calledjet lag."
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"It dulls the senses and slows the reflexes."
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"What do you say to that?"
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"- Howard? - What?"
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"Ar-Aren't you gonna answer the question?"
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"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were talking to Bob."
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"Uh, what was the question again?"
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"I thinkyoujust answered it."
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"All right, everybody. Y-You want to make sure you have your airline tickets."
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"Make sure you didn't leave 'em in the office."
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"Just to be on the safe side, let's everyone hold up their airline tickets."
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"All right. I'll-- I'll see you all at Gate 47."
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"It's a-- a pleasure hearing you, Mr, Borden. You really set me straight on you guys."
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"You know, it's funny how everybody's afraid to go up in an airplane..."
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"and nobody's afraid to get in an elevator which is held up by one thin little cable."
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"You did say you're going to New York for the weekend."
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"Or are you moving there for life?"
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"Margaret, this is not my fault. Bob said that packing would relax me."
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"I just started a little too early, that's all."
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"- [ Phone Ringing] - Oh, I'll bet that's Bob."
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"He said he'd call before I left the house."
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"Hello? Hi, Bob."
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"Nervous? No."
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"New York? Is that-- Is that today?"
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"I don't know why I said it. I just thought it was kind of cute."
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"Yeah, I'm ready to go."
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"N-No, I didn't packyour blue tie."
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"Oh, o-okay. I'll-- I'll pack it now."
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"Okay, honey. I'll see you on the, uh, thing."
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"Bye."
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"Mrs. Bakerman, everything fine?"
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"Fine, Dr. Hartleyjust fine."
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"I know I'm not nervous. I always stutter when I'm nervous."
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"- Oh, my. - What-- What's wrong?"
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"- I just stuttered, didn't I? - No."
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"Oh."
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"Oh, Mr. Carlin. Mr.-- Mr. Gianelli."
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"[Clears Throat]"
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"Just about the way I pictured it."
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"A long, thin tube."
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"Well, now try-- try not to think of it that way."
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"- Uh, where do you want to sit? - Next to the emergency exit."
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"Oh, uh, all the emergency exits are gone."
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"L-- I need a door."
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"I got to have a seat with a door."
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"How about those two over there? They'd be right near that exit."
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"- That's not an exit. It's a restroom. - I'll take it!"
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"He-He'll be all right. l-l'll look after him."
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"- Hi, honey. - Hi."
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"- How do you feel? - Okay, so far."
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"- Where- Where do you want to sit? - Next to you."
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"Well, you're in luck. I just happened to reserve the seat next to me."
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"Honey-- Honey, relax."
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"This is just as safe as sitting in that big armchair in our living room."
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"Oh, thanks. It helps to think of it that way."
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"- Oh, don't forget to buckle your seat belt. - Yeah."
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"[jet Engines whirring]"
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"Guys, as you've probably guessed, that's the sound of the engines starting up."
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"D-Don't let the sound disturb you."
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"As we discussed in the office many times..."
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"the only time to worry is when you can't h-hear the engines."
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"All right. I'm gonna be right here through the whole trip."
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"And once we're up in the air, we can walk around and talk and share our feelings."
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"Now, here's our stewardess. I'm sure she has some very reassuring words for us."
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"Welcome aboard Pathfinder Flight 21."
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"We hope you'll have a very pleasant flight to New York City."
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"If the cabin pressure changes suddenly..."
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"an oxygen mask will drop in front of you."
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"In this event, please extinguish all cigarettes..."
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"and pull firmly down on the mask and place it over your nose and mouth thusly."
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"Then continue to breath normally."
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"I am now going to point out all the emergency exits."
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"If you have any problems at all during our flight..."
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"just press the stewardess call buttons located in the panels directly above your head."
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"[ Beeping]"
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"I guess-- I guess we could discuss our feelings now..."
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"if anybody wants to do that."
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"- Anybody want to do that? - Excuse me, sir. You must sit down now and buckle up."
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"Oh, I'm gonna have to sit down and buckle up now."
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"But, uh, you-- you won't have to worry a-about a thing."
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"L-- I understand even the pilots do it. it's just a formality."
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"Th-They'll be fine once we get up in the air."
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"- You'll see. - No."
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"- Oh, yes, they will. - No, I--I mean I won't see, because I'm leaving."
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"Emily, what are you talking about? Where're you gonna go?"
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"- Home. - Emily, you can't go home."
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"- I mean, you'rejust a little anxious. - [Beeps]"
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"How is it gonna look if my wife is the only one who gets--"
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"- Did you want something? - Uh, some macadamia nuts."
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"Oh--"
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"Uh, some macadamia nuts for him."
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"And for me, would you please turn the plane around? [ Mouths Words]"
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"Can I askyou a question?"
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"Uh, yesterday, when I brought up the mail, and I was watering the plants..."
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"I was wondering-- Why was I doing that when you were here?"
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"I mean, did you miss your plane?"
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"L-I'd rather not talk about it, Howard."
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"I mean, did you-- did you lose your tickets?"
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"Emily?"
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"Howard..."
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"I created a scene."
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"I made a jetliner full of people turn around, let me off..."
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"and then take off without me."
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"Uh-huh. That was going to be my next guess."
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"Not to mention humiliating my husband."
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"Poor Bob. The last time I remember seeing him..."
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"he was spread-eagled across the airplane door holding Mr. Gianelli in."
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"Oh, hi, Bob."
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