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Clips from The Monkees - Find the Monkees (S01E01)

"Okay, mate. The phone booth's yours."
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"Hit me."
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"Twenty-one, you lose."
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"What's happening in the morning papers, Peter?"
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"Lil' Abner, Peanuts. Oh ho ho, say, this is funny."
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"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! This little guy hits the big guy"
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"over the head with a club, and the big guy hits"
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"the little guy in the jaw. Ho ho ho ho ho."
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"What comic strip is that?"
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"What, comic strip? This is the editorial page."
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"You're insane. You're out of your mind."
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"Hey, look at that. Hey, fellas. Did you see this?"
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""TV executive hunts mystery group.""
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"What does it say about it?"
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"It says Hubbell Benson, uh, blah-blah blah-blah blah blah blah-blah,"
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"and they don't know who they are. He's out trying to find them."
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"Man, that's justice for ya; here we are trying to get in to see him,"
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"and he's out trying to find another group that isn't even trying."
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"And to top it off, he doesn't even know who they are."
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"Well, if he doesn't know who they are, why don't we be them?"
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"Oh, come on, Peter. We don't even know what they sound like."
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"Well, how many different kinds of groups are there?"
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"No heartaches felt, no longer lonely Nights of waiting finally won me"
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"And now with you as inspiration I look toward a destination"
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"Sunny, bright that once before was blue"
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"For I love you, and I know you love me"
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"Free from all the helpless worry"
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"I have no more than I did before"
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"For I love you, and I know you love me"
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"I have no more than I did before"
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"For I love you, and I know you love me"
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"Yes, I love you, and I know you love me"
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"Something wrong, Mr. Benson?"
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"I give up. I'm tired of looking for that mystery group."
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"What do you say we audition the crowd we sent out the invitations to?"
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"Maybe there's something. Maybe."
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"Right away, sir."
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"The first three groups are here, Mr. Benson."
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"Well, bring in the first one."
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"Yes, sir. Okay, fellas. Jolly Green Giants first."
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"Yo ho ho!"
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"Alright, boys, let's hear what you can do."
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"Chomsky, let's record this."
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"Yes, sir. Here we go."
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"Not again, Chomsky!"
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"That's The Monkees."
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"You know that group?"
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"Sure, The Monkees, a no style group. They live at the beach."
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"The beach? That's the group I want. Chomsky, get ready."
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"Catch the phone book."
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"We're off to the beach to find The Monkees."
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"But, Mr. Benson, we're as good as they are!"
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"Ho ho ho!"
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"Hey, what's that terrible racket?"
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"Terrible racket? Man, it's your playing."
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"Oh, come off it."
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"Sounds more like the Foreign Agents."
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"No, no, it sounds like the Four Martians."
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"You know what it sounds like?"
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"- What? - Yo ho ho!"
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"Sounds like the Jolly Green Giants."
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"Hey, it's Mr. Benson!"
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"Say you're the Monkees."
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"What? Can you speak into this?"
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"I said, "Say you're the Monkees"."
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"Oh, we're the Monkees, we're the Monkees."
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"Oh, eureka!"
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"No, we're American."
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"We've been looking everywhere for you."
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"What'd you say, what'd you say?"
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"I said we've been looking everywhere for you."
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"Oh! I thought that's what you said. Ha ha."
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"Quiet! Quiet! Play, boys, play!"
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"Okay."
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"Know that something very strange Is happening to my brain."
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"I'm either feeling very good Or else I am insane."
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"The seeds of doubt you planted Have started to grow wild"
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"But feel that I must yield before The wisdom of a child"
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"And it's love you bring..."
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"Hold it, hold it. That's the sound. That's the sound, boys."
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"You're gonna be the stars of my new TV show."
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"Why, within one month, you won't be able to turn on a"
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"television or radio set without hearing you"
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"play my theme song. How does it go, Miss Chomsky?"
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"La la-la la-la, la-la la la-la la-la, la la-la la-la la."
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"La la-la la-la, la la-la la-la, la la-la la la-la!"
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"That's it! That's the sound! Irene Chomsky, I never knew."
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"Right under my own nose. Why, what's wrong with me?"
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"Well, you're rude, impolite, cheap, absolute unpalatable..."
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"Miss Chomsky, you're the star of my new show."
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"...terribly rude, mean, ugly,"
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"and furthermore, cheap, very cheap!"
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"You know, I really feel bad about blowing that big chance, man."
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"Don't worry about it, Peter; we all felt bad."
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"Yeah, but I felt so blue, I wanted to do something silly, like..."
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"forget show business and go to the South Seas or something."
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"No kidding."
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"Then, after all, I thought to myself, so what?"
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"So we lost a hundred dollar job."
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"A hundred dollar a week? Peter, stars make more than a hundred dollars a week."
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"They do?"
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"Sure they do."
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"How much do they make?"
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"Oh, I don't know. Some might make as high as five thousand dollars a week."
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"Five thousand, five thousand dollars?"
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"Don't you worry, Peter; one of these days,"
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"we'll get our break. Peter? Hey, Peter?"
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"He's gone!"
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"He's gone!"
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"Well, he's about, uh, uh, five ten."
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"Has light brown hair."
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"Yeah, and he cries a lot."
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"Has hiccups."
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"Yeah, hay fever."
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"And he gets very seasick, but he still may be heading for the South Seas."
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"Oh, okay. I had a pencil here somewhere."
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"Oh, a pencil."
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"Hey, fellas, uh, we do a lot of pictures that have fights in it and,"
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"uh, gangsters and everything."
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"Do you ever get into fights yourselves?"
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