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Clips from Cheers - Don Juan Is Hell (S04E04)

Giving my squash Second billing

"Giving my squash Second billing"

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To a broad with A bunch of snakes.

"To a broad with A bunch of snakes."

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Hey, how would you To get a look inside That old bag's head?

"Hey, how would you To get a look inside That old bag's head?"

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Professor malone,

"Professor malone,"

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I think we've got A little class In session.

"I think we've got A little class In session."

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Hi, doc. Over here. Welcome, everybody.

"Hi, doc. Over here. Welcome, everybody."

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Why don't you come on Over and take a seat Anywhere over here.

"Why don't you come on Over and take a seat Anywhere over here."

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There's no need To be so formal.

"There's no need To be so formal."

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But if you have Something prepared?

"But if you have Something prepared?"

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Oh, just a few Things off the Top of my head.

"Oh, just a few Things off the Top of my head."

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Did you bring An apple for The teacher?

"Did you bring An apple for The teacher?"

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Sam, i didn't Hear from you,

"Sam, i didn't Hear from you,"

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So i assume you read The paper.

"So i assume you read The paper."

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Paper? Oh, yeah, couldn't Put it down.

"Paper? Oh, yeah, couldn't Put it down."

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Are you sure you still Want to go through With this?

"Are you sure you still Want to go through With this?"

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Oh, absolutely. But, sam, i don't feel--

"Oh, absolutely. But, sam, i don't feel--"

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Take a seat here.

"Take a seat here."

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You don't want To be late For class.

"You don't want To be late For class."

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Ok, sit down.

"Ok, sit down."

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Welcome, everybody.

"Welcome, everybody."

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Now, i realize you Came here to meet me

"Now, i realize you Came here to meet me"

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And find out what Makes a guy like me tick.

"And find out what Makes a guy like me tick."

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So i asked myself,

"So i asked myself,"

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"What makes you so different From everybody else

""What makes you so different From everybody else"

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When it comes To scoring big with women?"

"When it comes To scoring big with women?""

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And i think it's this-- I love ladies.

"And i think it's this-- I love ladies."

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I love The way they smell,

"I love The way they smell,"

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The way they sound, And the way they feel.

"The way they sound, And the way they feel."

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And by the way, That shade of lipstick

"And by the way, That shade of lipstick"

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Really compliments That rosy glow in your cheeks.

"Really compliments That rosy glow in your cheeks."

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Unbelievable.

"Unbelievable."

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Now, see, i'm not the Only one who thinks that.

"Now, see, i'm not the Only one who thinks that."

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Ok, all right, Enough about me here.

"Ok, all right, Enough about me here."

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Let's open up This discussion a little bit.

"Let's open up This discussion a little bit."

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What's your name, son?

"What's your name, son?"

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Barry.

"Barry."

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Barry, all right, barry, Why don't you tell me

"Barry, all right, barry, Why don't you tell me"

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What do you do when you meet A girl for the first time.

"What do you do when you meet A girl for the first time."

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Well, I talk to her,

"Well, I talk to her,"

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And i Let her know

"And i Let her know"

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That I respect her as A human being.

"That I respect her as A human being."

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I ask her out Without putting Pressure on her,

"I ask her out Without putting Pressure on her,"

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And i let The relationship Grow naturally.

"And i let The relationship Grow naturally."

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Well...

"Well..."

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We all have

"We all have"

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Some pretty crazy ideas When we're young.

"Some pretty crazy ideas When we're young."

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Ok, can anyone tell me Where barry went off the beam?

"Ok, can anyone tell me Where barry went off the beam?"

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Miss chambers Has a thought here.

"Miss chambers Has a thought here."

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All right. Well, all right. I guess so.

"All right. Well, all right. I guess so."

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We can take five here.

"We can take five here."

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Smoke them If you've got them.

"Smoke them If you've got them."

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You didn't read This, did you?

"You didn't read This, did you?"

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Didn't have to. I lived it.

"Didn't have to. I lived it."

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Sit down. Please.

"Sit down. Please."

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"Trevor's the image Of the arrested adolescent,

""Trevor's the image Of the arrested adolescent,"

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"Entirely Self-oriented,

""Entirely Self-oriented,"

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"Still intimidated By the women around him

""Still intimidated By the women around him"

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"And attempting To prove himself Superior to them.

""And attempting To prove himself Superior to them."

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"Through Sexual conquest,

""Through Sexual conquest,"

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"He can for a time Quell his fears Of inferiority and failure.

""He can for a time Quell his fears Of inferiority and failure."

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"Indeed the idea Of a non-sexual Relationship

""Indeed the idea Of a non-sexual Relationship"

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"Is completely Foreign to him.

""Is completely Foreign to him."

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"As the years pass

""As the years pass"

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"And his physical Attractiveness Diminishes,

""And his physical Attractiveness Diminishes,"

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"He'll be doomed To a life of loneliness And despair,

""He'll be doomed To a life of loneliness And despair,"

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Unable to give Or receive love."

"Unable to give Or receive love.""

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Is this really How you feel About me?

"Is this really How you feel About me?"

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This is My clinical view of you.

"This is My clinical view of you."

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As a woman

"As a woman"

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I might have felt Something different

"I might have felt Something different"

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Than i feel as An academician.

"Than i feel as An academician."

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Makes my life Seem so...

"Makes my life Seem so..."

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Cheap And pathetic.

"Cheap And pathetic."

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Sam, you're reading Things into this.

"Sam, you're reading Things into this."

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Like here Where it says,

"Like here Where it says,"

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"His life is cheap And pathetic"?

""His life is cheap And pathetic"?"

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Oh, don't be hurt.

"Oh, don't be hurt."

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I hate it When you're hurt.

"I hate it When you're hurt."

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This is not A true picture of you.

"This is not A true picture of you."

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I exaggerated

"I exaggerated"

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In order to Corroborate my thesis.

"In order to Corroborate my thesis."

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Boy, I don't know.

"Boy, I don't know."

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Maybe i am gonna End up this way.

"Maybe i am gonna End up this way."

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You're not Listening to me!

"You're not Listening to me!"

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This is a paper, Theory and conjecture.

"This is a paper, Theory and conjecture."

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I was going For a grade.

"I was going For a grade."

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I told him the professor What i thought he wanted To hear.

"I told him the professor What i thought he wanted To hear."

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You're just saying That to make me Feel better.

"You're just saying That to make me Feel better."

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I mean, everything In here is true,

"I mean, everything In here is true,"

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Including The part about

"Including The part about"

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I've never had "A non-sexual Relationship."

"I've never had "A non-sexual Relationship.""

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Now, there.

"Now, there."

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That's a good example Of exaggeration.

"That's a good example Of exaggeration."

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You and i have A non-sexual relationship.

"You and i have A non-sexual relationship."

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How can you Say that?

"How can you Say that?"

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Well, i think the fact That we don't have sex

"Well, i think the fact That we don't have sex"

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Is a major hint.

"Is a major hint."

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That's just because We promised

"That's just because We promised"

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To try to keep Our distance.

"To try to keep Our distance."

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And we have.

"And we have."

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Our relationship Has reached

"Our relationship Has reached"

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The mature Adult stage.

"The mature Adult stage."

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Well, i wish There was some way

"Well, i wish There was some way"

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I could Prove it to you.

"I could Prove it to you."

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Well, Maybe there is.

"Well, Maybe there is."

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Sit on my lap.

"Sit on my lap."

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I'm just trying to Convince myself

"I'm just trying to Convince myself"

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That i can be Close to a woman

"That i can be Close to a woman"

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Without it Being sexual.

"Without it Being sexual."

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The silliest Thing i've--

"The silliest Thing i've--"

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Come on, diane.

"Come on, diane."

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Well, if it'll help Prove something to you,

"Well, if it'll help Prove something to you,"

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All right.

"All right."

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Boy, you're Nervous.

"Boy, you're Nervous."

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I am not.

"I am not."

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There. We did it.

"There. We did it."

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Hey, come on! Come on!

"Hey, come on! Come on!"

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You can't just get Up like that.

"You can't just get Up like that."

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That doesn't prove Anything.

"That doesn't prove Anything."

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Come sit here

"Come sit here"

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