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Clips from The Great North - My Fart Will Go On Adventure (S01E01)

"If you don't stop and get married once in a while,"
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"you might miss the love of your life."
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"And I will always show you the money!"
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"And by "money," I mean "understanding.""
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"Standing in front of a Bee, asking her to love him."
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"(with Australian accents): That's not a ring."
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"This is a ring."
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"(crying): Tacky."
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"JERRY: At this time,"
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"we ask that anyone that should object to this union"
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"speak now or forever hold your..."
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"WOMAN: Ah, dang, am I late?"
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"Did I miss the cocktail hour?"
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"(all gasp)"
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"-Here we go. -Dear God. Kathleen ahoy."
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"(woman clears throat)"
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"BEEF: Oh, that's not Kathleen."
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"Who the hell is that?"
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"Maybe this'll ring a bell."
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"(mock crying)"
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"Oh. My. God."
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"-Honeybee, you didn't. -Oh, I did."
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"I'd know that cry anywhere!"
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"It's the actress who played the baby"
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"Billy Zane grabbed to try to get on the rescue boats in Titanic!"
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"Oh, remember he ran all over the deck saying,"
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""I have a child. I have a child.""
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"Oh, man, you're my second-favorite"
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"background character after Irish Mommy."
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"Okay, would you like a plaintive wail or some quiet sobbing?"
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"Oh, quiet sobbing, please."
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"(quiet sobbing)"
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"(laughs) Wow!"
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"Houston, we have a marriage."
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"You may now kiss each other."
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"(imitating Darth Vader): Luke..."
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"I am your husband."
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"(imitating Darth Vader): Luke..."
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"I am your wife."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, it's my great honor"
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"to present to you for the very first time,"
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"Mr. and Mrs. Wolf and Honeybee Shaw-Tobin!"
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"(cheering, applause)"
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"♪ ♪"
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"Come on, you two, the window's not gonna fog itself up."
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"Don't make me come in there."
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"Okay, I'm coming in. (laughs)"
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"I for one am glad Mom didn't bother"
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"to show up for my once-in-a-lifetime wedding."
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"It's, you know, it's good."
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"Definitely, uh... for-for the best."
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"Is it weird that maybe I feel kind of sad?"
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"Oh, I'm not sad."
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"I just have this hollow, lonely feeling"
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"in the pit of my stomach."
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"Luckily, I was so young"
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"when Mom left that I don't feel..."
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"Yeah, I'm bummed."
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"Yeah, me, too. Why do we feel like this?"
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"Because, sure, she's messed up,"
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"but she's still your mom."
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"Being filled with dread that Kathleen will appear"
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"and then disappointment when she doesn't is normal."
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"And terrible. And normal."
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"I know what you're going through, but look around."
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"Everyone that's supposed to be here is."
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"This is a good day."
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"It is Kathleen who is missing out."
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"You know, Dad, you're right."
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"It's better that Mom didn't show up."
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"She would have definitely ruined today."
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"She probably would have."
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"But your mother wasn't all bad."
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"She did give me the four things I love most in this world."
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"(gasps) Oh, do you mean our set of limited edition"
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"Betty Boop ceramic plates?"
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"-Nah, she took those with her. -Damn it."
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"I mean the four of you kids."
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"♪ ♪"
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"Do you trust me, Honeybee?"
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"I trust you."
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"-Do you trust me, Wolf? -I trust you."
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"-Do you trust me, Ham? -I trust you."
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"-Do you trust me, Dad? -I trust you."
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"TOBINS: Do you trust us, Shaws?"
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"SHAWS: We trust you!"
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"Okay, I'm following the rule of thirds."
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"Didn't forget to capture the depth."
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"And I've got everyone's good sides."
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"Okay, this is looking good. And timer's set! Everyone hold!"
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"Huh, would you look at that."
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"Mom's blog just updated."
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"She's drinking at a Wetzel's Pretzels in Tulsa."
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"Bad news for Tulsa."
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"Move your booty, here comes Judy!"
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"Okay. On three, everyone say,"
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""Today turned out perfectly, and we didn't even have to"
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""do the shadow wedding, which was a good move because"
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"Mom didn't even end up showing up and...""
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"-(camera clicks) -(gasps)"
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"Jandon, it's your aunt, Alyson. This song is for you."
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"♪ Jandon, I don't know you from a stranger on the street ♪"
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"♪ But I keep on hoping one day we'll meet ♪"
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"♪ I don't know what you're into, is it sports? ♪"
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"♪ Or is it trains? ♪"
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"♪ Do you like burritos? ♪"
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"♪ Or do you love chow mein? ♪"
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"♪ Oh, Jandon, where are you? ♪"
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"♪ You could be anywhere ♪"
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"♪ Jandon, who are you? ♪"
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"♪ We haven't met as far as I'm aware ♪"
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"♪ Guess I may never know ya ♪"
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"♪ But I hope you get this "best nephew" shirt I stole ya. ♪"
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"Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH"
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