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Clips from Severance - Defiant Jazz (S01E01)

"[Mark] Shit."
Severance
"- Shit. - What?"
Severance
"It's Cobel."
Severance
"She won't come here."
Severance
"Oh, okay. It's great you know that. Let's get the fuck outta here."
Severance
"Harmony, I was looking for you."
Severance
"- Now isn't a good-- - I have the Board here."
Severance
"Right now?"
Severance
"Doug Graner is dead."
Severance
"What?"
Severance
"The Board finds this deeply troubling."
Severance
"The Board wants to know if you knew he was missing"
Severance
"and if you've spoken to the police."
Severance
"Whoever killed Mr. Graner is probably"
Severance
"the same person who reintegrated Peter Kilmer."
Severance
"[Board member speaking on earpiece, indistinct]"
Severance
"The Board reminds you that reintegration is not--"
Severance
"Reintegration happened. And I have the data to prove it."
Severance
"And I would be happy to share my findings in person"
Severance
"without intermediaries."
Severance
"[Board member speaking on earpiece, indistinct]"
Severance
"The Board agrees…"
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"[speaking continues, indistinct]"
Severance
"…and will be available to meet with you at the Eagan Family Gala next week"
Severance
"to discuss this further. Details to come."
Severance
"I look forward to receiving them."
Severance
"[employees chattering]"
Severance
"[laughing, chattering continues]"
Severance
"So, no one is in there? That's lax as fuck."
Severance
"Well, maybe it's enough that we think we're constantly being watched."
Severance
"It's too bad nobody told you guys that everything here is bullshit."
Severance
"- Is that making sense? - [Helly] Yeah."
Severance
"There's a bunch of steps, but it's actually pretty straightforward."
Severance
"You just engage the trackball, type the code,"
Severance
"then it's switch, type, flip,"
Severance
"- type, hold. - What?"
Severance
"Trackball, type, switch, type, flip, type, hold. Boom."
Severance
"What?"
Severance
"I'm smart. That's why I have three times as many finger traps as you guys."
Severance
"But to do this, one of us has to stay behind, right?"
Severance
"Yeah, after work. I can do it. I've already been out, so it's only fair."
Severance
"Very noble of you, but I think it's designed as a two-man operation."
Severance
"Great. I have the strength of two men."
Severance
"It's not about strength."
Severance
"Yeah, see. There are two lever switches that you have to hold open"
Severance
"during the actual procedure."
Severance
"And they're on either side of the door."
Severance
"I can do it."
Severance
"[chattering, laughing]"
Severance
"[Mr. Milchick] Ladies and gentlemen,"
Severance
"how about a round of applause for the man of the hour, huh?"
Severance
"[laughs]"
Severance
"Come and circle up! Gather round. [chuckles]"
Severance
"[chanting] Burt, Burt, Burt."
Severance
"[chanting continues]"
Severance
"- [Mr. Milchick chuckles] - Whoo!"
Severance
"Greetings, Designers…"
Severance
"and one Refiner. [chuckles]"
Severance
"We'll have to get those doors looked at."
Severance
"In the meantime…"
Severance
"Burt G. This is for you."
Severance
"Hello."
Severance
"This is kinda strange, but…"
Severance
"a lot of things about this job are."
Severance
"You all know that better than me, I'm guessing."
Severance
"And, of course, I don't really know any of you,"
Severance
"but the man standing there with you now does."
Severance
"He's worked with you for nearly seven years,"
Severance
"and I hope they've been good years."
Severance
"I-- I don't know what they've been like,"
Severance
"or what exactly I, or he, has been doing with you,"
Severance
"but I do know how I feel every day when I come from being with you."
Severance
"I come home feeling tired but fulfilled. I feel satisfied."
Severance
"I must like you very much."
Severance
"And though today is my last day with you,"
Severance
"I'm certain you will remain with me in spirit"
Severance
"in some deep, yet completely unaccessible, corner of my mind."
Severance
"The impression you've left on me is indelible,"
Severance
"though I'm unaware of it on a conscious level, and…"
Severance
"I will never forget any of you, even though sitting here right now,"
Severance
"I have no recollection of actually ever meeting you"
Severance
"and no idea of your names"
Severance
"or any of your physical characteristics"
Severance
"or even how many of you there are."
Severance
"Anyway, I just wanna say, thank you, all."
Severance
"And Burt, I see you."
Severance
"- [chuckles] - Congratulations."
Severance
"Good job, buddy."
Severance
"Bon voyage."
Severance
"[toots]"
Severance
"[employees chuckling]"
Severance
"Oh."
Severance
"[employees applauding]"
Severance
"You're all just gonna stand here…"
Severance
"and let him die?"
Severance
"Irving, what?"
Severance
"Are we being punished for defying the guidance of the founder?"
Severance
"Burt's outie is retiring. It'll happen to you too someday."
Severance
"You smug motherfucker."
Severance
"You're not severed."
Severance
"You walk out of here with your memories."
Severance
"You carry them home with you every night."
Severance
"No one can rip them away from you, snuff them out."
Severance
"Like they never existed."
Severance
"Like you never existed!"
Severance
"That's enough! You will go back to MDR."
Severance
"[Burt] Mr. Milchick, please."
Severance
"It'd be so wonderful to have him here."
Severance
"He won't say anything more."
Severance
"You can stay for Burt's party and support his transition."
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"But only if you behave in a manner that brings no shame upon yourself,"
Severance
"the founder or his progeny."
Severance
"I don't know what's gotten into you people today."
Severance
"[sighs]"
Severance
"Yes, Mr. Milchick."
Severance
"[Mr. Milchick] Now, let's all say goodbye to Burt."
Severance
"I hope you all will enjoy Burt G.'s innie retirement song selection."
Severance
"["Times of Your Life" playing]"
Severance
"[Paul Anka] ♪ Good morning, yesterday ♪"
Severance
"♪ You wake up And time has slipped away ♪"
Severance
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