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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Pilot (S01E01)

"♪ Can I get a boom, can I get a boom, boom? ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Watch your back, watch your back, feel the contact ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Contact, contact, give me room ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Turn me up, turn me up, here we, here we go ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ First up to bat, contact on a John Doe ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Fresh fitted on the one‐two ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Rhythm I jam on a fish stick, played‐out gimmick... ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"The prodigal daughter returns."
Single Drunk Female
"Wow. You actually learned something in Catholic school?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, I had one of the good ones."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yes, you did. ‐Oh!"
Single Drunk Female
"My beautiful Samantha."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Aah! ‐Aah! How've you been?"
Single Drunk Female
"Ah, you know, my sister's"
Single Drunk Female
"an asshole, and Zack's a little TikTok star."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Wow, you're such a stage mom. ‐Yeah, but a hot stage mom."
Single Drunk Female
"(trills)"
Single Drunk Female
"Tommy, two beers, two shots."
Single Drunk Female
"‐None for me, thanks. ‐Coming right up."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my Samantha is back in town."
Single Drunk Female
"We're gonna party like when Tom was still with the Patriots."
Single Drunk Female
"Mm‐hmm. (laughs)"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, man."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I can't."
Single Drunk Female
"You're Samantha Fink."
Single Drunk Female
"You're the Russian‐Jewish tank."
Single Drunk Female
"I know, but I'm hanging up my jersey."
Single Drunk Female
"All right, suit yourself."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(short chuckle) ‐I'll have yours."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ On the mic I'm gonna murder ya, tear you up... ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"Ah."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Until now, when I caught you ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ With the wild style, twist, twist ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"‐♪ When I diss on a chump. ♪ ‐♪"
Single Drunk Female
"All right, but stop me at two."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, for sure."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Two. ‐All right."
Single Drunk Female
"♪ That my friend, she a real bad ... ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Got her own money, she don't need no ... ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ On the dance floor, she had two, three drinks ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Now she twerkin', she throw it out and come back in ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ That my best friend, she a real bad ... ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"You look so hot right now."
Single Drunk Female
"I know."
Single Drunk Female
"Yay!"
Single Drunk Female
"‐♪ Beep‐beep ♪ ‐(horn honks)"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Is that my bestie in a Tessie? ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Fresh blow out, skin on tan ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Ooh, she ready ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Best friend, you my ... soulmate. ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"You know,"
Single Drunk Female
"they say the secret to sobriety is one day at a time,"
Single Drunk Female
"so, I'll just start over tomorrow."
Single Drunk Female
"Tomorrow is a new day."
Single Drunk Female
"(both laughing)"
Single Drunk Female
"SAMANTHA: Backstabber."
Single Drunk Female
"How dare she show her face in my bar."
Single Drunk Female
"Let's run her out."
Single Drunk Female
"All right. I'll try, but I ate a lot of chicken parm."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, you got to pace yourself."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God. It's Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"Hey, Sam."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Hi. Nice hat. ‐Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Chantel forced me to wear this. ‐You and Joel"
Single Drunk Female
"‐are getting married. Hmm. ‐Yeah. I didn't"
Single Drunk Female
"‐want you to find out this way. ‐All right, don't be sorry."
Single Drunk Female
"Come on. You guys have been together a long time."
Single Drunk Female
"This is, like, pretty small‐town inevitable, right?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"So do you guys want to, like, hang out with us?"
Single Drunk Female
"You can have some cake."
Single Drunk Female
"Felicia, do you want to have, uh, cake"
Single Drunk Female
"with the gal who's marrying my ex‐boyfriend?"
Single Drunk Female
"(snorts, laughs)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Okay, Sam, you... ‐I would never have a slice"
Single Drunk Female
"of your skank cake. (laughs)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh. ‐Uh, o‐okay."
Single Drunk Female
"All right, okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Next time. Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Boom, bitches. ‐Just stop. Look..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Give me five. ‐Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Ah. ‐BRIT: Sam?"
Single Drunk Female
"Hey. No, no, no, no. Use this."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't need you spraying all over the walls again."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, that last time was me, actually."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(laughing) You remember that? ‐Why are people like this?"
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you. Sam, how you feeling?"
Single Drunk Female
"Can we help you?"
Single Drunk Female
"Can I just talk to Sam?"
Single Drunk Female
"Would you like to talk to her, Sam?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, why not?"
Single Drunk Female
"All right. Fine."
Single Drunk Female
"I got to call my babysitter anyway, so..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh. ‐Way too small of a target."
Single Drunk Female
"You know what I mean?"
Single Drunk Female
"Samantha, you're back from New York."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, yeah. (clears throat)"
Single Drunk Female
"Living with Mom. We're like Grey Gardens on acid, you know?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God. That sounds terrifying."
Single Drunk Female
"My baby asleep yet or what?"
Single Drunk Female
"You have no idea."
Single Drunk Female
"So, rehab?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. (scoffs)"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, that was just mandatory so my office wouldn't sue."
Single Drunk Female
"You know, it wasn't a big deal."
Single Drunk Female
"And obviously a huge waste of time,"
Single Drunk Female
"because I can control my drinking when I want to."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, look, Sam, I just... I want to say I'm sorry, okay?"
Single Drunk Female
"You know, since you blocked me on all social media."
Single Drunk Female
"Thought this was my one chance and..."
Single Drunk Female
"Are you sorry about the hat or the marrying my ex?"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm just a little confused."
Single Drunk Female
"You don't have to be a dick about it."
Single Drunk Female
"You know Joel and I have been together for a long time,"
Single Drunk Female
"and you guys have been broken up for a long time."
Single Drunk Female
"Sam, life moves forward even if you don't."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God. That was beautiful."
Single Drunk Female
"I got to get that tattooed on butt."
Single Drunk Female
"Could you just not do the whole victimy thing right now?"
Single Drunk Female
"You know, this is exactly like"
Single Drunk Female
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