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Clips from Adaptation.

Movies 2002 115 min ★ 7.6/10 (215,317 ratings) 1,474 clips
Drama Comedy

Credits

Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head?
"Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head?"
Adaptation.
Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn't be falling out.
"Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn't be falling out."
Adaptation.
Life is short. I need to make the most of it.
"Life is short. I need to make the most of it."
Adaptation.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
"Today is the first day of the rest of my life."
Adaptation.
I'm a walking cliché.
"I'm a walking cliché."
Adaptation.
I really need to go to the doctor, have my leg checked.
"I really need to go to the doctor, have my leg checked."
Adaptation.
There's something wrong. A bump.
"There's something wrong. A bump."
Adaptation.
The dentist called again. I'm way overdue.
"The dentist called again. I'm way overdue."
Adaptation.
If I stopped putting things off, I'd be happier.
"If I stopped putting things off, I'd be happier."
Adaptation.
All I do is sit on my fat ass.
"All I do is sit on my fat ass."
Adaptation.
If my ass wasn't fat, I'd be happier.
"If my ass wasn't fat, I'd be happier."
Adaptation.
I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time.
"I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time."
Adaptation.
Like that's fooling anyone.
"Like that's fooling anyone."
Adaptation.
Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day.
"Fat ass. I should start jogging again. Five miles a day."
Adaptation.
Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing.
"Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing."
Adaptation.
I need to turn my life around.
"I need to turn my life around."
Adaptation.
What do I need to do? I need to fall in love.
"What do I need to do? I need to fall in love."
Adaptation.
I need to have a girlfriend.
"I need to have a girlfriend."
Adaptation.
I need to read more, improve myself.
"I need to read more, improve myself."
Adaptation.
What if I learned Russian or something?
"What if I learned Russian or something?"
Adaptation.
Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese.
"Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese."
Adaptation.
I would be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese. And plays the oboe.
"I would be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese. And plays the oboe."
Adaptation.
That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short.
"That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short."
Adaptation.
Stop trying to fool everyone into thinking I have a full head of hair.
"Stop trying to fool everyone into thinking I have a full head of hair."
Adaptation.
How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident.
"How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident."
Adaptation.
Isn't that what women are attracted to?
"Isn't that what women are attracted to?"
Adaptation.
Men don't have to be attractive.
"Men don't have to be attractive."
Adaptation.
But that's not true, especially these days.
"But that's not true, especially these days."
Adaptation.
Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days.
"Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days."
Adaptation.
Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence?
"Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence?"
Adaptation.
Maybe it's my brain chemistry.
"Maybe it's my brain chemistry."
Adaptation.
Bad chemistry.
"Bad chemistry."
Adaptation.
All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance
"All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance"
Adaptation.
or some kind of misfiring synapses.
"or some kind of misfiring synapses."
Adaptation.
I need to get help for that.
"I need to get help for that."
Adaptation.
But I'll still be ugly, though.
"But I'll still be ugly, though."
Adaptation.
Nothing's gonna change that.
"Nothing's gonna change that."
Adaptation.
Shut up! Shut up! Okay?
"Shut up! Shut up! Okay?"
Adaptation.
Let's really try today to solve our camera problems.
"Let's really try today to solve our camera problems."
Adaptation.
Keep between-take time at an absolute minimum.
"Keep between-take time at an absolute minimum."
Adaptation.
These masks are really hot. Okay?
"These masks are really hot. Okay?"
Adaptation.
I wanna be very well-heard on that from everybody.
"I wanna be very well-heard on that from everybody."
Adaptation.
Don't futz unless it's absolutely important to the shot, okay?
"Don't futz unless it's absolutely important to the shot, okay?"
Adaptation.
I don't say that for me. I say that for the people sitting here
"I don't say that for me. I say that for the people sitting here"
Adaptation.
- Thank you. - in the rubber.
"- Thank you. - in the rubber."
Adaptation.
- I like my dress. Okay? - Very good.
"- I like my dress. Okay? - Very good."
Adaptation.
So now, folks, you better heed that advice.
"So now, folks, you better heed that advice."
Adaptation.
Okay? Heed that advice. Stand by for picture.
"Okay? Heed that advice. Stand by for picture."
Adaptation.
Have her rotate around the table a little bit further.
"Have her rotate around the table a little bit further."
Adaptation.
Hold on until we're clear.
"Hold on until we're clear."
Adaptation.
You. You're in the eyeline. Can you please get off the stage?
"You. You're in the eyeline. Can you please get off the stage?"
Adaptation.
Yeah, just bring in the six-footer.
"Yeah, just bring in the six-footer."
Adaptation.
What am I doing here? Why did I bother to come here today?
"What am I doing here? Why did I bother to come here today?"
Adaptation.
Nobody even seems to know my name.
"Nobody even seems to know my name."
Adaptation.
I've been on this planet for 40 years, and I don't understand a single thing.
"I've been on this planet for 40 years, and I don't understand a single thing."
Adaptation.
Why am I here? How did I get here?
"Why am I here? How did I get here?"
Adaptation.
My leg hurts. I wonder if it's cancer.
"My leg hurts. I wonder if it's cancer."
Adaptation.
There's a bump. I'm starting to sweat. Stop sweating.
"There's a bump. I'm starting to sweat. Stop sweating."
Adaptation.
I've got to stop sweating.
"I've got to stop sweating."
Adaptation.
Can she see it dripping down my forehead?
"Can she see it dripping down my forehead?"
Adaptation.
She looked at my hairline. She thinks I'm bald. She...
"She looked at my hairline. She thinks I'm bald. She..."
Adaptation.
- We think you're great. - Oh, wow.
"- We think you're great. - Oh, wow."
Adaptation.
Thanks. That's nice to hear.
"Thanks. That's nice to hear."
Adaptation.
We all just loved the Malkovich script.
"We all just loved the Malkovich script."
Adaptation.
- Thanks. Thanks... - Such a unique voice.
"- Thanks. Thanks... - Such a unique voice."
Adaptation.
Boy, I'd love to find a portal into your brain.
"Boy, I'd love to find a portal into your brain."
Adaptation.
Trust me, it's no fun.
"Trust me, it's no fun."
Adaptation.
So tell me your thoughts on this crazy little project of ours.
"So tell me your thoughts on this crazy little project of ours."
Adaptation.
First, I think it's a great book.
"First, I think it's a great book."
Adaptation.
- Laroche is a fun character. - Absolutely.
"- Laroche is a fun character. - Absolutely."
Adaptation.
And Orlean makes orchids so fascinating.
"And Orlean makes orchids so fascinating."
Adaptation.
Plus, her musings on Florida and orchid poaching, Indians.
"Plus, her musings on Florida and orchid poaching, Indians."
Adaptation.
It's just... It's great, sprawling New Yorker stuff.
"It's just... It's great, sprawling New Yorker stuff."
Adaptation.
I'd want to remain true to that.
"I'd want to remain true to that."
Adaptation.
I'd wanna let the movie exist,
"I'd wanna let the movie exist,"
Adaptation.
rather than be artificially plot-driven.
"rather than be artificially plot-driven."
Adaptation.
Great.
"Great."
Adaptation.
I guess I'm not exactly sure what that means.
"I guess I'm not exactly sure what that means."
Adaptation.
I'm not sure I know what that means either.
"I'm not sure I know what that means either."
Adaptation.
I don't wanna ruin it by making it a Hollywood thing. You know?
"I don't wanna ruin it by making it a Hollywood thing. You know?"
Adaptation.
Like an orchid heist movie or something, you know?
"Like an orchid heist movie or something, you know?"
Adaptation.
Or changing the orchids into poppies
"Or changing the orchids into poppies"
Adaptation.
and making it about drug running.
"and making it about drug running."
Adaptation.
- Definitely. - Why can't there be a movie
"- Definitely. - Why can't there be a movie"
Adaptation.
simply about flowers?
"simply about flowers?"
Adaptation.
I guess we thought that maybe
"I guess we thought that maybe"
Adaptation.
Susan Orlean and Laroche could fall in love, and...
"Susan Orlean and Laroche could fall in love, and..."
Adaptation.
Okay. But I'm saying, it's like, I don't wanna cram in sex
"Okay. But I'm saying, it's like, I don't wanna cram in sex"
Adaptation.
or guns or car chases,
"or guns or car chases,"
Adaptation.
you know, or characters, you know,
"you know, or characters, you know,"
Adaptation.
learning profound life lessons.
"learning profound life lessons."
Adaptation.
Or growing, or coming to like each other,
"Or growing, or coming to like each other,"
Adaptation.
or overcoming obstacles to succeed in the end, you know? I mean...
"or overcoming obstacles to succeed in the end, you know? I mean..."
Adaptation.
The book isn't like that
"The book isn't like that"
Adaptation.
and life isn't like that. You know, it just isn't. And...
"and life isn't like that. You know, it just isn't. And..."
Adaptation.
I feel very strongly about this.
"I feel very strongly about this."
Adaptation.
John Laroche is a tall guy, skinny as a stick,
"John Laroche is a tall guy, skinny as a stick,"
Adaptation.
pale-eyed, slouch-shouldered,
"pale-eyed, slouch-shouldered,"
Adaptation.
sharply handsome, despite the fact he's missing all his front teeth.
"sharply handsome, despite the fact he's missing all his front teeth."
Adaptation.
I went to Florida two years ago to write a piece for The New Yorker.
"I went to Florida two years ago to write a piece for The New Yorker."
Adaptation.
After reading a small article about a white man and three Seminole men
"After reading a small article about a white man and three Seminole men"
Adaptation.
arrested with rare orchids they'd stolen from a place
"arrested with rare orchids they'd stolen from a place"
Adaptation.
called the Fakahatchee Strand State Preserve.
"called the Fakahatchee Strand State Preserve."
Adaptation.
As natural selection works solely by and for the good of each being,
"As natural selection works solely by and for the good of each being,"
Adaptation.
all corporeal and mental endowments will tend to progress towards perfection.
"all corporeal and mental endowments will tend to progress towards perfection."
Adaptation.
It's interesting to contemplate an entangled bank...
"It's interesting to contemplate an entangled bank..."
Adaptation.
Polyrrhiza lindenii.
"Polyrrhiza lindenii."
Adaptation.
A ghost.
"A ghost."
Adaptation.
Cut her down, Russell.
"Cut her down, Russell."
Adaptation.
- Morning. - Hey.
"- Morning. - Hey."
Adaptation.
May I ask you gentlemen what you have in those pillowcases?
"May I ask you gentlemen what you have in those pillowcases?"
Adaptation.
Yes, sir, you absolutely may.
"Yes, sir, you absolutely may."
Adaptation.
- Okay, then, I'm asking. - Well, okay, then.
"- Okay, then, I'm asking. - Well, okay, then."
Adaptation.
Let's see.
"Let's see."
Adaptation.
We've got five kinds of bromeliad,
"We've got five kinds of bromeliad,"
Adaptation.
one peperomia, nine orchid varieties.
"one peperomia, nine orchid varieties."
Adaptation.
You know, about 130 plants all told.
"You know, about 130 plants all told."
Adaptation.
Which my colleagues here removed from the swamp.
"Which my colleagues here removed from the swamp."
Adaptation.
You're aware it's illegal to remove plants or animals from state-owned land?
"You're aware it's illegal to remove plants or animals from state-owned land?"
Adaptation.
Yeah, and don't forget,
"Yeah, and don't forget,"
Adaptation.