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Clips from Half Baked

Short Films 1998 1,221 clips
Short Drama

Credits

My last clear memory, really.
"My last clear memory, really."
Half Baked
I don't even know nobody named Old James. Shoot. Go on!
"I don't even know nobody named Old James. Shoot. Go on!"
Half Baked
Why don't you light it up there, brother? All right. Here goes nothin'.
"Why don't you light it up there, brother? All right. Here goes nothin'."
Half Baked
I don't remember graduatin'. And my first sexual experience I don't remember that either.
"I don't remember graduatin'. And my first sexual experience I don't remember that either."
Half Baked
I haven't been so thirsty in my entire life.
"I haven't been so thirsty in my entire life."
Half Baked
Feels like Jerry Garcia's in my head. Am I goin' crazy?
"Feels like Jerry Garcia's in my head. Am I goin' crazy?"
Half Baked
And I am the happiest custodian alive.
"And I am the happiest custodian alive."
Half Baked
Turn around and ask me for Heifer with cheese, yo!
"Turn around and ask me for Heifer with cheese, yo!"
Half Baked
Scarface is kind of a hyper guy for a pothead. Sorry.
"Scarface is kind of a hyper guy for a pothead. Sorry."
Half Baked
Kenny is probably doin' the best out of all of us.
"Kenny is probably doin' the best out of all of us."
Half Baked
All of you. All of you. It's so good.
"All of you. All of you. It's so good."
Half Baked
You can get the stuff at little corner stores called bodegas.
"You can get the stuff at little corner stores called bodegas."
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Yes, very good.
"Yes, very good."
Half Baked
Jose, you crazy, man. He's crazy. Come on, man. Let me get them dimes.
"Jose, you crazy, man. He's crazy. Come on, man. Let me get them dimes."
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but their stuff ain't even weed most the time.
"but their stuff ain't even weed most the time."
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Then there's a delivery service run by a guy named Samson Simpson.
"Then there's a delivery service run by a guy named Samson Simpson."
Half Baked
Now, I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.
"Now, I don't do drugs, though. Just weed."
Half Baked
Coming.
"Coming."
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See, all you have to do is call them up, and a half hour later,
"See, all you have to do is call them up, and a half hour later,"
Half Baked
Secret code. Come on in.
"Secret code. Come on in."
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All right. Light it up.
"All right. Light it up."
Half Baked
Shoes off.
"Shoes off."
Half Baked
Bip Oxygen
"Bip Oxygen"
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Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm- Oh, bip
"Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm- Oh, bip"
Half Baked
Get some...
"Get some..."
Half Baked
Make sure chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man.
"Make sure chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man."
Half Baked
Graham crackers with the marshmallows, the little marshmallows.
"Graham crackers with the marshmallows, the little marshmallows."
Half Baked
Everything on 'em. With water, whole lot of water.
"Everything on 'em. With water, whole lot of water."
Half Baked
And... Funyuns.
"And... Funyuns."
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That's it? Yeah.
"That's it? Yeah."
Half Baked
We used to eat it all the time back in the day.
"We used to eat it all the time back in the day."
Half Baked
Pussy. That's right. You got it.
"Pussy. That's right. You got it."
Half Baked
If I'm not back in ten minutes, call the police.
"If I'm not back in ten minutes, call the police."
Half Baked
Hey, girl.
"Hey, girl."
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You like popcorn.
"You like popcorn."
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That is so cool, man.
"That is so cool, man."
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He got the same dealer as us. What you mean?
"He got the same dealer as us. What you mean?"
Half Baked
Uh-oh.
"Uh-oh."
Half Baked
Don't you leave me. Breathe, Buttercup.
"Don't you leave me. Breathe, Buttercup."
Half Baked
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"Breathe. Breathe. Breathe."
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Cup. Cup. Cup. Cup.
"Cup. Cup. Cup. Cup."
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Why must you rage? Stop the hate, child.
"Why must you rage? Stop the hate, child."
Half Baked
My weed's wearing off.
"My weed's wearing off."
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Guess who? Yo. Psst. Thurgood.
"Guess who? Yo. Psst. Thurgood."
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Kenny didn't come home last night. We are worried, man.
"Kenny didn't come home last night. We are worried, man."
Half Baked
Sincerely, The Guy on the couch.
"Sincerely, The Guy on the couch."
Half Baked
All right, time's up.
"All right, time's up."
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Yes, show me your mean face, Kenny.
"Yes, show me your mean face, Kenny."
Half Baked
Number nine, time's up!
"Number nine, time's up!"
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I love you guys.
"I love you guys."
Half Baked
He looked all right, man.
"He looked all right, man."
Half Baked
I'm leaving. Well, uh, can I leave with ya?
"I'm leaving. Well, uh, can I leave with ya?"
Half Baked
Yes. So what's up with this?
"Yes. So what's up with this?"
Half Baked
It's a thing I'm into.
"It's a thing I'm into."
Half Baked
Nah, I'm a custodian. So, what are you here for?
"Nah, I'm a custodian. So, what are you here for?"
Half Baked
My father's a drug dealer. Wow, that must've been the shit.
"My father's a drug dealer. Wow, that must've been the shit."
Half Baked
I don't do drugs. Drugs make me sick.
"I don't do drugs. Drugs make me sick."
Half Baked
Is that Prell? Do you use Prell?
"Is that Prell? Do you use Prell?"
Half Baked
Hey, guys. Meet Mary Jane.
"Hey, guys. Meet Mary Jane."
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No, no. This is Mary Jane.
"No, no. This is Mary Jane."
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Ah! What I'm talkin' about.
"Ah! What I'm talkin' about."
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Custodian, dick.
"Custodian, dick."
Half Baked
It's really real
"It's really real"
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Step on up if you think you fit the bill Yeah
"Step on up if you think you fit the bill Yeah"
Half Baked
I could feel she wanted me to say something.
"I could feel she wanted me to say something."
Half Baked
maybe go out for some ice cream or something?
"maybe go out for some ice cream or something?"
Half Baked
I'm talkin' to you. Thanks a lot, fellas.
"I'm talkin' to you. Thanks a lot, fellas."
Half Baked
Thanks for the ride. Thurgood!
"Thanks for the ride. Thurgood!"
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I knew it.
"I knew it."
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You know, I might've came on too strong with the whole ice cream thing.
"You know, I might've came on too strong with the whole ice cream thing."
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Okay. All right.
"Okay. All right."
Half Baked
Joking!
"Joking!"
Half Baked
Dr. Kablecki, please report to Clinical Studies.
"Dr. Kablecki, please report to Clinical Studies."
Half Baked
Dr. Kablecki.
"Dr. Kablecki."
Half Baked
Janitor? Janitor?
"Janitor? Janitor?"
Half Baked
Could you, uhI know this isn't your responsibility,
"Could you, uhI know this isn't your responsibility,"
Half Baked
Got ya. I know this isn't your responsibility, but mop the rest of this shit up.
"Got ya. I know this isn't your responsibility, but mop the rest of this shit up."
Half Baked
What it smell like? Smell like...
"What it smell like? Smell like..."
Half Baked
No. I smell weed, man.
"No. I smell weed, man."
Half Baked
One pound of marijuana, and you can sign for it right here.
"One pound of marijuana, and you can sign for it right here."
Half Baked
Some good shit.
"Some good shit."
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Sure. Shh.
"Sure. Shh."
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Hey, why didn't you tell me you were into this shit?
"Hey, why didn't you tell me you were into this shit?"
Half Baked
No cocktail party would be complete without the ice plant.
"No cocktail party would be complete without the ice plant."
Half Baked
No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny.
"No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny."
Half Baked
It's like I feel stuck here, yo.
"It's like I feel stuck here, yo."
Half Baked
Yeah. Yeah.
"Yeah. Yeah."
Half Baked
Wanna go outside? Yeah.
"Wanna go outside? Yeah."
Half Baked
I don't need to tell you this, but this weed was...
"I don't need to tell you this, but this weed was..."
Half Baked
the shiz-nittle-bam snip-snap-sack!
"the shiz-nittle-bam snip-snap-sack!"
Half Baked
Let's go check in on Kenny, huh?
"Let's go check in on Kenny, huh?"
Half Baked
Did I say homo? I didn't mean that!
"Did I say homo? I didn't mean that!"
Half Baked
We'll sell weed.
"We'll sell weed."
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I gottaI gotta get a form from a scientist.
"I gottaI gotta get a form from a scientist."
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Bully, man. Word, yo.
"Bully, man. Word, yo."
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Hmm.
"Hmm."
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Okay, fine. Fine. We'll do it.
"Okay, fine. Fine. We'll do it."
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We're not drug dealers. We're fund-raisers.
"We're not drug dealers. We're fund-raisers."
Half Baked
Hey, good night, Mike. See you tomorrow.
"Hey, good night, Mike. See you tomorrow."
Half Baked
forge one of the forms and put the order in like I did before.
"forge one of the forms and put the order in like I did before."
Half Baked
Thank you. Then we scraped together what little money we had...
"Thank you. Then we scraped together what little money we had..."
Half Baked
and I won't get all my vitamins.
"and I won't get all my vitamins."
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Take it.
"Take it."
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All right, man. Go!
"All right, man. Go!"
Half Baked
Y'all don't know about Mary Jane Mary Jane
"Y'all don't know about Mary Jane Mary Jane"
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Mary very, very necessary Extraordinary bein' Mary
"Mary very, very necessary Extraordinary bein' Mary"
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Look at all these people!
"Look at all these people!"
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Let's go, man. - Let's go. It's money.
"Let's go, man. - Let's go. It's money."
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She is my main thing She make me feel all right
"She is my main thing She make me feel all right"
Half Baked
All right. We did our part, right?
"All right. We did our part, right?"
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If you love me, Mary Jane Mary Jane
"If you love me, Mary Jane Mary Jane"
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We're talkin' about Mary Jane
"We're talkin' about Mary Jane"
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How y'all feel about Mary Jane
"How y'all feel about Mary Jane"
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We're talkin' about Mary Jane Damn, this weed is good.
"We're talkin' about Mary Jane Damn, this weed is good."
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She make my heart sing
"She make my heart sing"
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Mr. Nice Guy. Oh, I may have the wrong number.
"Mr. Nice Guy. Oh, I may have the wrong number."
Half Baked
That was a joke.
"That was a joke."
Half Baked
Well, I wasn't, but then I decided I don't care what my friends think.
"Well, I wasn't, but then I decided I don't care what my friends think."
Half Baked
All right. Okay. I'll see you there.
"All right. Okay. I'll see you there."
Half Baked
Yeah, sure. We can go for a walk.
"Yeah, sure. We can go for a walk."
Half Baked