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Clips from Cheers - Dog Bites Cliff (S05E05)

Are you still planning To go through with the lawsuit?

"Are you still planning To go through with the lawsuit?"

Cheers

You know how slowly The wheels of justice Grind there, samuel.

"You know how slowly The wheels of justice Grind there, samuel."

Cheers

Uh-oh. Guess what sap Is being suckered

"Uh-oh. Guess what sap Is being suckered"

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Into dropping a lawsuit.

"Into dropping a lawsuit."

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Well, not Necessarily now.

"Well, not Necessarily now."

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Let's just Take a look At all these facts,

"Let's just Take a look At all these facts,"

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As complicated As they may be,

"As complicated As they may be,"

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And see if we can Come to a conclusion About this.

"And see if we can Come to a conclusion About this."

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Ok, let's start with This gorgeous woman

"Ok, let's start with This gorgeous woman"

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Is interested in cliff, All right?

"Is interested in cliff, All right?"

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I don't think We have to go any Further than that.

"I don't think We have to go any Further than that."

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Now, just a second.

"Now, just a second."

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I don't think We're really Being fair.

"I don't think We're really Being fair."

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Now, let's say If an ugly woman Were interested in cliff,

"Now, let's say If an ugly woman Were interested in cliff,"

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Would any of us Be suspicious?

"Would any of us Be suspicious?"

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If a living woman Were interested in cliff,

"If a living woman Were interested in cliff,"

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I'd be suspicious.

"I'd be suspicious."

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I got to go along With dr. Crane on this.

"I got to go along With dr. Crane on this."

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I can't believe That someone would Actually lie

"I can't believe That someone would Actually lie"

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Just to save A lot of money.

"Just to save A lot of money."

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Woody, don't help me, ok?

"Woody, don't help me, ok?"

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Somebody has got to Tell cliff the truth.

"Somebody has got to Tell cliff the truth."

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I guarantee He'll never talk to The person who does.

"I guarantee He'll never talk to The person who does."

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Ok. You talked me Into it.

"Ok. You talked me Into it."

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Hey, hopalong.

"Hey, hopalong."

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Come here. I want To talk to you.

"Come here. I want To talk to you."

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I don't know How to tell you this.

"I don't know How to tell you this."

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Wait a minute. Yes, i do.

"Wait a minute. Yes, i do."

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You're an idiot.

"You're an idiot."

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Everybody in the bar Thinks that babe is Playing you for a fool.

"Everybody in the bar Thinks that babe is Playing you for a fool."

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The second You drop your lawsuit, You're history.

"The second You drop your lawsuit, You're history."

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You are a sap.

"You are a sap."

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I know, but i'm having The time of my life.

"I know, but i'm having The time of my life."

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How often am i sapped With a beautiful woman?

"How often am i sapped With a beautiful woman?"

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I mean, I usually am a sap With the bowsers.

"I mean, I usually am a sap With the bowsers."

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But when madeline and i Walk into a restaurant,

"But when madeline and i Walk into a restaurant,"

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All the guys' heads, They turn.

"All the guys' heads, They turn."

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And they're not saying, "Hey,

"And they're not saying, "Hey,"

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There's a beautiful Woman over there With a sap."

"There's a beautiful Woman over there With a sap.""

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Yes, they are.

"Yes, they are."

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Look, all i know Is as long as We're together,

"Look, all i know Is as long as We're together,"

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There's a good chance She may grant me The ultimate favor.

"There's a good chance She may grant me The ultimate favor."

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Yeah. Right, clavin.

"Yeah. Right, clavin."

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You're threatening To sue her, Not kill her.

"You're threatening To sue her, Not kill her."

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Oh, madeline...

"Oh, madeline..."

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You look ravishing As ever.

"You look ravishing As ever."

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Thank you, cliff. I thought you'd like it.

"Thank you, cliff. I thought you'd like it."

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Like it? If i had Better legs,

"Like it? If i had Better legs,"

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I'd get one For myself.

"I'd get one For myself."

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Oh, cliff, You're adorable.

"Oh, cliff, You're adorable."

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We'd better get going. We have reservations.

"We'd better get going. We have reservations."

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Before we go, i think We need to sit down

"Before we go, i think We need to sit down"

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And have a talk.

"And have a talk."

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Is something wrong?

"Is something wrong?"

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Actually, yes.

"Actually, yes."

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What is it, Madeline?

"What is it, Madeline?"

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Well, this lawsuit Has been preying On my mind,

"Well, this lawsuit Has been preying On my mind,"

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And my attorney Gave me this.

"And my attorney Gave me this."

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It's a waiver form.

"It's a waiver form."

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It releases me From all liability For the dog bite.

"It releases me From all liability For the dog bite."

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I guess you want me To sign it, huh?

"I guess you want me To sign it, huh?"

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I want you To tear it up.

"I want you To tear it up."

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I don't Understand--

"I don't Understand--"

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Please. Just tear it up.

"Please. Just tear it up."

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When this first began,

"When this first began,"

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I thought i could Get you to drop the lawsuit

"I thought i could Get you to drop the lawsuit"

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If i was nice to you.

"If i was nice to you."

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But then the funniest Thing happened.

"But then the funniest Thing happened."

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I grew to like you... A lot.

"I grew to like you... A lot."

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But i'll understand If you hate me

"But i'll understand If you hate me"

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For what i was Going to do.

"For what i was Going to do."

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I was playing With your emotions

"I was playing With your emotions"

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When you've been So honest with me.

"When you've been So honest with me."

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Uh, i forgive you, Madeline.

"Uh, i forgive you, Madeline."

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No, you're A decent guy.

"No, you're A decent guy."

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Maybe i just Better go.

"Maybe i just Better go."

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Madeline, wait. Uh...

"Madeline, wait. Uh..."

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Look, i've--i've...

"Look, i've--i've..."

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Anything you did Doesn't make A difference to me.

"Anything you did Doesn't make A difference to me."

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You're not Just saying that To make me feel better?

"You're not Just saying that To make me feel better?"

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I swear it. Scout's honor.

"I swear it. Scout's honor."

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Oh, cliff. Oh.

"Oh, cliff. Oh."

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Doesn't it feel good To clear the air?

"Doesn't it feel good To clear the air?"

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Oh, yeah, it does.

"Oh, yeah, it does."

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Look, why don't we Forget about the dinner

"Look, why don't we Forget about the dinner"

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And rent A room somewhere

"And rent A room somewhere"

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And just celebrate Our socks off.

"And just celebrate Our socks off."

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Really?

"Really?"

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Well...

"Well..."

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Well, the ritz Is just around The corner.

"Well, the ritz Is just around The corner."

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Why cliff, i think That's a wonderful idea.

"Why cliff, i think That's a wonderful idea."

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Carla, would you Be a dear

"Carla, would you Be a dear"

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And cancel Dinner reservations For the sap party.

"And cancel Dinner reservations For the sap party."

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We're going to Have ritz service At the room.

"We're going to Have ritz service At the room."

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I meant ritz service At the room.

"I meant ritz service At the room."

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Can you believe I said ritz service At the room?

"Can you believe I said ritz service At the room?"

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What i meant was ritz Service at the room.

"What i meant was ritz Service at the room."

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[Ring]

"[Ring]"

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Cheers.

"Cheers."

Cheers

Hey, mr. Clavin. What's new?

"Hey, mr. Clavin. What's new?"

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Sure thing. Hold on.

"Sure thing. Hold on."

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Sam, it's for you.

"Sam, it's for you."

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Yeah, cliff.

"Yeah, cliff."

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Oh, sammy. Sammy. It's about to happen.

"Oh, sammy. Sammy. It's about to happen."

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And you stopped To call me?

"And you stopped To call me?"

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She's in the john Putting on her best Bib and tucker.

"She's in the john Putting on her best Bib and tucker."

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I, uh...

"I, uh..."

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Sam, can i make A small confession?

"Sam, can i make A small confession?"

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Sure.

"Sure."

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I'm scared.

"I'm scared."

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Well, cliff, If it's any consolation,

"Well, cliff, If it's any consolation,"

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I've seen her, And i'm scared for you.

"I've seen her, And i'm scared for you."

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Oh, my god.

"Oh, my god."

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Oh, sam.

"Oh, sam."

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Slide over, cliff.

"Slide over, cliff."

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No, i meant This way, cliff.

"No, i meant This way, cliff."

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Oh.

"Oh."

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Yes, ma'am.

"Yes, ma'am."

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Now...

"Now..."

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Isn't this wonderful?

"Isn't this wonderful?"

Cheers

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