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Clips from The Court Jester

"Ah, maid Jean. Welcome. What brings you here at this hour?"
The Court Jester
"Concern for you, sire. - Mm?"
The Court Jester
"You were so distressed last evening,"
The Court Jester
"that I thought perhaps I could comfort you,"
The Court Jester
"ease the burdens of state."
The Court Jester
"Eh, don't tug it, idiot! Well that's very considerate of you, my dear."
The Court Jester
"I shall take advantage of your delightful offer..."
The Court Jester
"perhaps this evening?"
The Court Jester
"Why tarry, sire?"
The Court Jester
"I am most accomplished on matters of appearance,"
The Court Jester
"and would gladly free these young men for more important chores, elsewhere."
The Court Jester
"Well that's very kind of you, but..."
The Court Jester
"oh, yes. Pages,"
The Court Jester
"I'm sure you have some very important business to attend."
The Court Jester
"Now, then, sire, we have to get you ready for the ceremony!"
The Court Jester
"Ah, but my dear... - Now there."
The Court Jester
"You can't imagine my feelings,"
The Court Jester
"when I touch the head of a man who calles himself the king of England."
The Court Jester
"Who IS the King of England! And very handsome, too, sire."
The Court Jester
"On the day of your first tournament. There you are."
The Court Jester
"Where?"
The Court Jester
"Now I must go, sire."
The Court Jester
"Oh, now wait, dear, wait."
The Court Jester
"Oh, no, you have to get to your ceremony!"
The Court Jester
"But there's no hurry. We can't start until the jester's been made ready."
The Court Jester
"The jester?!"
The Court Jester
"Yes, haven't you heard? We're knighting the poor fool."
The Court Jester
"Knighting the jester!"
The Court Jester
"Yes, you'd never guess why."
The Court Jester
"So that he can marry the princess."
The Court Jester
"Well, that's the fool thinks, but the moment I dub him knight,"
The Court Jester
"Griswold will challenge him for the hand of my daughter."
The Court Jester
"Mortal combat."
The Court Jester
"Yes, isn't it delicious? He dare not refuse,"
The Court Jester
"they meet at lists, and Sir Griswold's lance runs the jester through,"
The Court Jester
"as a fitting climax to a glorious day."
The Court Jester
"Oh, my dear, you are a delicate, lovely creature."
The Court Jester
"Tell me, does it bother you that I may be a few years your senior?"
The Court Jester
"Oh, no, sire, not really."
The Court Jester
"In fact, you remind me so much of my dear and recently departed father."
The Court Jester
"Oh, your father, yes."
The Court Jester
"Well, was he a handsome figure of a man? Dashing, effective..."
The Court Jester
"Oh, yes, sire, 'till the scourge brought about his untimely end."
The Court Jester
"Eh, come here, my dear. - What a horrible death!"
The Court Jester
"A little closer..."
The Court Jester
"I can see him now, writhing on the floor in agony,"
The Court Jester
"like so many of his brothers and cousins and uncles and aunts..."
The Court Jester
"Yes. Would you grant the king a little kiss?"
The Court Jester
"Oh, certainly, sire, and don't worry. They say it isn't catching."
The Court Jester
"Oh, you are a little..."
The Court Jester
"catching?"
The Court Jester
"Just because it runs in the family doesn't mean that everyone has it."
The Court Jester
"Kiss me sire!"
The Court Jester
"Has it? Has what?"
The Court Jester
"Don't I please you, sire?"
The Court Jester
"Oh, yes, yes, but, eh, these brothers and cousins and uncles..."
The Court Jester
"And aunts. Let us not talk about their swollen, twisted, pain ridden bodies."
The Court Jester
"Hold me, take me in your arms, tell me I am yours!"
The Court Jester
"But this, this uh writhing on the floor..."
The Court Jester
"In agony."
The Court Jester
"Yes, wh-what's... how does one catch this thing?"
The Court Jester
"Oh, the touch of a hand, the brush of a lip..."
The Court Jester
"but let us not spoil this moment, sire! Hold me, hold me close!"
The Court Jester
"W-what's this monstrous thing called?"
The Court Jester
"Breckenridge's scourge."
The Court Jester
"Who's Breckenridge?"
The Court Jester
"My father."
The Court Jester
"Excuse me, dear, I'm feeling rather poorly."
The Court Jester
"Sire, the ceremony is ready."
The Court Jester
"Oh, very well. Ah, I must go, now, my dear, and so must- so must you."
The Court Jester
"Quickly."
The Court Jester
"Dear... don't touch me."
The Court Jester
"Where's the jester?"
The Court Jester
"Did you get the key? - Yes, here it is."
The Court Jester
"It must be sent by pigeon to the Black Fox at once!"
The Court Jester
"Let the jester take it and escape. They plan to kill him."
The Court Jester
"It'd never there in time. The bird's our only chance."
The Court Jester
"He who approacheth, deem you him worthy of noble knighthood?"
The Court Jester
"Yea, verily, yea!"
The Court Jester
"How many more before the jester?"
The Court Jester
"Just this one, sire."
The Court Jester
"...Fealty, loyalty, moisten his lips with the vigorous wine."
The Court Jester
"Yea, verily, yea!"
The Court Jester
"Now as the symbol of honor and dignity,"
The Court Jester
"let us beplume him and helmet his brow."
The Court Jester
"Yea, verily, yea!"
The Court Jester
"Sire, this storm bodes ill."
The Court Jester
"It might drench the field and delay the tournament."
The Court Jester
"Fetch the jester and run him through the ritual as quickly as possible."
The Court Jester
"But sire, custom..."
The Court Jester
"Custom be hanged! Fetch him and run him through!"
The Court Jester
"A message for the jester. From the king."
The Court Jester
"He requests you do this at once."
The Court Jester
"At w-once."
The Court Jester
"He who approacheth, deem you him ready for noble knighthood."
The Court Jester
"Yea! - Y-yea."
The Court Jester
"Hath he passed all test of valor?"
The Court Jester
"Yea, verily, yea!"
The Court Jester
"Now doth he flower with true nobility?"
The Court Jester
"Yea, verily, yea!"
The Court Jester
"Reveal him now to his sovereign liege."
The Court Jester
"Yea, verily, yea! Yea?"
The Court Jester
"Faster. - Faster. - Faster."
The Court Jester
"B-but I!"
The Court Jester
"...Fealty, loyalty, moisten his lips with the vigorous wine."
The Court Jester
"Now will he pledge to his fealty, loyalty, courage,"
The Court Jester
"and vigor and valor and strength! - Yea!"
The Court Jester
"Now as the symbol of honor and dignity, let us beplume him and helmet his brow."
The Court Jester
"Yea, verily, yea! Yea, verily, yea!"
The Court Jester
"He who is girded and plumed and helmeted,"
The Court Jester
"Let him prepare..."
The Court Jester
"Considering the virtuous fidelity you have shown,"
The Court Jester
"and the honorable exploits that you have done,"
The Court Jester
"having given proof of that honor, having given proof of that honor..."
The Court Jester
"as always as is the part of a good and faithful subject,"
The Court Jester
"I hereby dub thee knight of the realm,"
The Court Jester
"defender of the soil, protector of the crown,"
The Court Jester
"and a fit consort for the princess Gwendolyn the fair."
The Court Jester
"Arise, Sir Giacomo."
The Court Jester
"Now, if any knight present objects to this marriage,"
The Court Jester
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