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Clips from Weeds - Roy Till Called (S03E03)

"I don't know what to do."
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"If I don't give it to Doug, he goes to jail. If I don't give it to Valerie, I go to hell."
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"Jail comes before hell."
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"Or you could give it all to me."
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"Sullivan."
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"I'm not Sullivan. I'm the Easter Bunny."
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"You want your basket?"
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"Just wait, wait, wait a minute. Just a sec. I want to freshen up."
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"Collect my eggs."
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"- Celia? - You make any noise,"
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"so help me God, you will be sitting in that diaper"
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"for a week."
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"Oh."
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"Mmm."
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"I'm so impressed by you. Your kindness."
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"Dropping everything to take care of a man you don't love,"
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"because he has no one else."
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"- You are the most selfless woman. - I am."
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"- I'm wonderful. - Yes."
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"- You are. - No."
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"- Let's go to the bedroom. - No."
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"OK, fine. Fuck it."
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"Mm."
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"- What is that? - It's a dog."
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"- Dryer. - Woof!"
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"OK, it's him."
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"- Come on. - He's in there?"
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"He's safer there. Can't hurt himself."
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"- Woof! - Wait, where you going?"
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"Woof!"
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"Jesus."
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"Maybe we ought to take a little break, huh?"
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"I'll call you."
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"Thanks for that, Celia. Doggy got a big bone."
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"Little close there, kiddo!"
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"Over here!"
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"- Still hating me. - He's very committed."
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"- What's this? - That? That is cash."
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"It's not $119,000 in cash."
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"- It's $4,500. - Where's my money?"
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"I have the money. I just don't have it here. This is a down payment."
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"I knew it."
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"I had a little emergency. You're gonna have it back in a month."
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"This is a scam, right?"
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"You don't understand. There's money coming in."
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"- No worries. - No worries?"
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"I have cards maxed out."
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"I have creditors calling me. I can't make my rent."
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"I can't wait for money to come in. I need it now."
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"Jesus. Why are you in such bad shape?"
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"I've spent all my cash on coke and man whores."
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"Why the hell do you think? I work a middle-class job in the Bush economy."
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"- Where's my fucking money? - It's fucking coming!"
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"You spent it already, didn't you?"
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"That was my money."
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"Fucked."
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"Fucked, fucked."
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"Not fucked."
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"Just fucked in the head."
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"Clearly not ready to listen, so I'm gonna go."
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"I'll call you."
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"- Mom, she took my ball! - Fuck your ball. She took our 100 grand."
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"First of all, Mr. Wilson, we would like to thank you for the T-shirts"
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"that you brought us from the 2001 Agrestic 5K Thanksgiving Fun Run."
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"I drew that logo. The turkey with the sneakers."
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"That's quite a talent, Mr. Wilson."
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"However, we're here to discuss Agrestic's financial records,"
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"- Not funny T-shirts. - Of course, Ann."
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"May I call you Ann? I'm getting divorced."
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"There seems to be an outstanding loan here, Councilman Doug,"
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"made to a company called Aguatecture?"
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"Yes. Yes, there is. And I have the repayment of that loan"
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"right here in my back pocket."
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"- This is a post-dated personal check. - Yes."
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"- This is all highly unorthodox, Mr. Wilson. - Yes."
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"You're claiming this is repayment on the loan made to Aguatecture."
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"Yes. You see the memo line right there?"
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"It says, "For Aguatecture." It's a great little business."
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"A socially responsible, minority-owned company that makes fountains shaped like houses."
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"Victorians, Tudors, even castles. Heart-warming story."
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"Hardscrabble, good people, invested with our hearts, and it paid off."
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"They're selling like bratwurst in Germany."
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"Praise the Lord. Hallelujah, with the grace of the God."
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"So be it, amen. Hm-mm. Oh, brother."
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"- Amen. - Amen."
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"My wife's a fountain freak. She'd love those."
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"Yeah, where can I get one?"
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"I'll hook you all up. Fountains for everyone. At cost!"
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"Thank you!"
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"Crust, please."
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"Thank you."
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"- Where the fuck have you been? - I quit."
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"Bullshit."
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"Not bullshit."
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"- Look at how you treat me. - How I treat you?"
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"I haven't had lunch."
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"I left three messages saying I wanted soup and a Cobb salad."
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"So, fire me instead."
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"But I like you."
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"You're a shitty assistant, but your skin's like milk, and you're almost as smart as I am."
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"If you make this easy for me,"
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"let me steal all the office supplies I want,"
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"we can do it on the table before I go."
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"You would have been a killer in business"
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"if you hadn't pissed away your potential on the mommy track."
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"Yeah. I guess it wasn't meant to be."
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"Look at you, anal."
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"Shouldn't you just sweep everything off and ravage me like a real man?"
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"I spent the whole day organising this shit."
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"- Bitch. - Oh, yeah. I'm bad. Punish me."
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"- Previously on Weeds... - I'm making a buy."
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"You come back with five figures, and we'll do business."
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"Any chance I could borrow $10,000?"
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"I know an accountant/councilman"
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"with access to a civic investment portfolio..."
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"Make it $50,000."
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"Summer reading from Internal Affairs."
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"It appears Pete was the brains behind the skimming, extortion, wiretapping."
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"Good thing for us he turned up the way he did and we don't have to get honest."
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"- How's Tim doing? - How do you think? His father's dead."
Weeds
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