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Clips from The Mighty Boosh - Bollo (S01E01)

"What? You wanted an ape, I gave you an ape. A reaI ape."
The Mighty Boosh
"You threw your crap at her."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm a method actor. When you hire me, you don't get two-dimensionaI slices."
The Mighty Boosh
"You get three-dimensionaI truth nuggets."
The Mighty Boosh
"Luckily, she wrote a cheque before your truth nuggets hit her in the face."
The Mighty Boosh
"Now watch it, Moon, or I'll be alI over you like a nun sandwich."
The Mighty Boosh
"Yeah. You'd better believe I'm a good actor."
The Mighty Boosh
"I got the moves."
The Mighty Boosh
"Huh!"
The Mighty Boosh
"Can I help you?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Right..."
The Mighty Boosh
"Vince, I suddenly feeI much better."
The Mighty Boosh
"# Sun is shining and you're feeling fine"
The Mighty Boosh
"# And the birds are singing in the trees #"
The Mighty Boosh
"(Sings in a club style)"
The Mighty Boosh
"# You're much too young, girI #"
The Mighty Boosh
"Hello?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- What is it, mate? - Hi. Where are we going?"
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm taking you to Monkey Hell. So sit back, relax and enjoy the view."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Monkey Hell? - Yeah, mate."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Yeah, there might have been a mistake. - Ha-ha! That's what they alI say."
The Mighty Boosh
"''There's been a mistake. It's not my time. I'm not ready to die.''"
The Mighty Boosh
"Just chilI out, squire."
The Mighty Boosh
"Yeah... The thing is, I'm not a monkey."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm a man in a monkey suit."
The Mighty Boosh
"Dear, oh, dear. I've heard some excuses in my time. That is priceless."
The Mighty Boosh
"Oh, I don't believe this."
The Mighty Boosh
"Sorry."
The Mighty Boosh
"Reaper to Colin. Reaper to Colin."
The Mighty Boosh
"Colin here."
The Mighty Boosh
"I've been a right flapjack. I've gone and picked up the wrong geezer."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Oh, not again. - lt weren't my fault this time."
The Mighty Boosh
"He's dressed as an ape in the ape enclosure. What am I supposed to do?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- AlI right. Better drop him off here. - Nice one."
The Mighty Boosh
"- How's your Pauline? - AlI right. She's dead. How's yours?"
The Mighty Boosh
"She's dead. She's alI right, though. Talks alI day. Blah-blah-blah."
The Mighty Boosh
"She said..."
The Mighty Boosh
"AlI right, listen up. I'm taking you back to head office."
The Mighty Boosh
"I ain't happy with you. I live right near Monkey Hell."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's put an extra 40 minutes on my journey, you peanut."
The Mighty Boosh
"Sorry."
The Mighty Boosh
"AlI right, boys? Oi, Bobby. Where's my tenner?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Hey, Neville. - AlI right?"
The Mighty Boosh
"(Manager) Pick up at Swiss Cottage."
The Mighty Boosh
"- AlI right, Colin. How's your Pauline? - AlI right. How's yours?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- She's alI right. - Is this the geezer?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- This is him. - Um... Where are we, exactly?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- You're in limbo, mate. - And where's that?"
The Mighty Boosh
"It's neither here nor there, is it?"
The Mighty Boosh
"AlI right. I'll make a few calIs, see what I can do."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Thanks, Colin. Much appreciated. - I'm a Cockney."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Have a seat, mate. - What's happening?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- We're waiting for Head Office to decide. - Whether I can go back?"
The Mighty Boosh
"No, whether you go to Monkey Hell or Monkey Heaven."
The Mighty Boosh
"- But I'm not a monkey. - Look. You're dead, I've told you."
The Mighty Boosh
"Try and accept it. Come on, you'lI be alI right. I'll make a cup of tea."
The Mighty Boosh
"Cheers."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Sugar? - No, thanks. Actually, two. May as well."
The Mighty Boosh
"Four. Make it eight. Sod it."
The Mighty Boosh
"AlI right, mate."
The Mighty Boosh
"Death, nothingness, oblivion."
The Mighty Boosh
"No more will I look upon my sweet friends."
The Mighty Boosh
"- No more will I... - Oi, you bony nonce!"
The Mighty Boosh
"Oh, Death."
The Mighty Boosh
"Oi, mate. l'd pipe down with that sort of stuff. Bit of a sports crowd in here."
The Mighty Boosh
"Anyway, it's not strictly true, what you were saying."
The Mighty Boosh
"Let me show you something."
The Mighty Boosh
"This is the mirror of life. You can see anything in here."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Have a look at your funeral, if you want. - Really?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Oh, yeah."
The Mighty Boosh
"Wow. So many people."
The Mighty Boosh
"No, that's a Woodstock DVD. This is your funeral."
The Mighty Boosh
"Wow. So many people."
The Mighty Boosh
"Anno dominus, vomitus erectus etceteras."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Crows caw)"
The Mighty Boosh
"We are gathered here today to bury Howard Moon."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Fossil) Er... We don't know how it happened."
The Mighty Boosh
"We do know, however, that when he died he was dressed as a..."
The Mighty Boosh
"- (Tape) Gorilla. - Here to say a few words about him,"
The Mighty Boosh
"perhaps the closest person to him here at the Zooniverse,"
The Mighty Boosh
"Vince Noir."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Hey, Vince. I'm a priest. - Couldn't you get a reaI priest?"
The Mighty Boosh
"I didn't know how to get one."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Hey, you got one of these? - What is that?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Talk box. - Talk box?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Yeah. - No."
The Mighty Boosh
"Oh..."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Tape) Gorilla."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Give it to me. - It's got alI my words on it."
The Mighty Boosh
"You can have it back at the end."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Fossil) Talk box."
The Mighty Boosh
"Howard Moon was a good friend of mine."
The Mighty Boosh
"He was a passionate man, and he liked to work closely with the animaIs,"
The Mighty Boosh
"too closely, some said."
The Mighty Boosh
"- You hear that, Jack? - Shut your face."
The Mighty Boosh
"Howard's other passion in life was jazz. Howard loved jazz."
The Mighty Boosh
"He asked me to play Blue Train by John Coltrane at his funeral."
The Mighty Boosh
"I couldn't really find that. Sorry, Howard. But I found another song about a train."
The Mighty Boosh
"I hope it'lI do just as well."
The Mighty Boosh
"(# Pipe organ plays Thomas The Tank Engine theme)"
The Mighty Boosh
"(Horn) Peep-peep!"
The Mighty Boosh
"(Laughter)"
The Mighty Boosh
"(AlI laugh)"
The Mighty Boosh
"AlI right, lads. Back to work."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Am I entitled to a phone call? - You ain't been arrested."
The Mighty Boosh
"- There must be something you can do. - I shouldn't do this..."
The Mighty Boosh
"but seeing as there's been a mix-up, I'll telI you what I'll do."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I'll throw you in a haunting. - A haunting? What does that entail?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Anything you want, really. Some people visit their dear mums to say goodbye."
The Mighty Boosh
"Other people frighten their enemies."
The Mighty Boosh
"Some people pick up cups and make them float around by their own volition."
The Mighty Boosh
"Woooo!"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Never understood that one. - I want to see my mate Vince."
The Mighty Boosh
"- The geezer with the fab hairdo? - Yeah."
The Mighty Boosh
"OK. It's a tricky procedure, this, transporting you back."
The Mighty Boosh
"So get your limbs moving. Loosen yourseIf up. Lovely. Sort of dance."
The Mighty Boosh
"That's lovely. Really grind your booty. Go on. Bit more sexual."
The Mighty Boosh
"Pout a little bit. Bit more. Here, boys. Check this out."
The Mighty Boosh
"(AlI laugh)"
The Mighty Boosh
"I've had it with you, faceless mother..."
The Mighty Boosh
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