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Clips from Veep - Midterms (S02E02)

"Fine, but as senior strategist, I'll already be in the room."
Veep
"Are you suggesting that a senior strategist"
Veep
"is a higher position than a vice president?"
Veep
"- It depends on the vice president. - Yeah?"
Veep
"Well, this one is me and I'm fucking great."
Veep
"And you're not an elected representative."
Veep
"You're only an elected representative by default."
Veep
"The American people voted for him."
Veep
"And him chose me, okay?"
Veep
"I'm gonna be in the room first."
Veep
"I'm gonna be in the room last."
Veep
"You think this is a negotiation?"
Veep
"What leverage do you think that you have?"
Veep
"Oh, I have leverage."
Veep
"I got a big bag of leverage coming my way."
Veep
"So, vice president, president... bam."
Veep
"Come on, you are the vice president."
Veep
"By definition, you should be at half the height of the president."
Veep
"Mm-hmm. You want to see where you are?"
Veep
"Hi, Kent. How's it going?"
Veep
"Thank you so much for bringing us the memo on aggregates."
Veep
"Now why don't you just go and fuck yourself in your own asshole?"
Veep
"What the fuck do you want?"
Veep
"Ma'am, we have that data you requested."
Veep
"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come."
Veep
"- Was there a TV on in here? - No. Come in."
Veep
"You might want to sit down for this."
Veep
"- It's okay. I'm all right. - Okay. Hit it."
Veep
"When it comes to successful campaign visits, ma'am,"
Veep
"you have a lead over POTUS of 0.9%."
Veep
"Yeah, but that's not"
Veep
"even a percent-age."
Veep
"If we round it up, we can make it one."
Veep
"- I couldn't find... - Just..."
Veep
"Sir, she has strong utility"
Veep
"and key demographics..."
Veep
"working mothers, Hispanic voters."
Veep
"- She gives us traction in swing votes. - Yeah."
Veep
"- She's a useful tool. - Oh, no, no, no."
Veep
"I'm not gonna be used as a prop again, my friend."
Veep
"I will never forget on election night"
Veep
"how you put my ex-husband up on that stage"
Veep
"and it was my night, Kent."
Veep
"It was a healing image for America."
Veep
"The way that you used Catherine to make it look"
Veep
"as if we were all coming together."
Veep
"- Calm down. - Don't you tell me to calm down!"
Veep
"I saw that photo that you had in your office"
Veep
"with the word glue written across her forehead."
Veep
"- Better if I said cement? - Here's some good lipstick."
Veep
"Fuck that lipstick!"
Veep
"Kent? Are you okay? I'm so sorry."
Veep
"- What, are you high? - No, no, she's not."
Veep
"No, that was my fault."
Veep
"Um, what's going on?"
Veep
"Just been with the president."
Veep
"He's asked me to stay on."
Veep
"My eye hurts."
Veep
"What's that shit all over the carpet?"
Veep
"an: Oh, shit. Ooh."
Veep
"If you have some white wine vinegar, that'll get it right out."
Veep
"What?"
Veep
"White wine vinegar will lift the stain."
Veep
"You take your eyebrows"
Veep
"- and you get out. - Here, ma'am."
Veep
"I've got some wipes. I've got a lot of wipes."
Veep
"Look right here. It's over here, too."
Veep
"- Ma'am, no! You're tracking it! - No, no, no, no!"
Veep
"- What? - Don't do that."
Veep
"It's stuck on the bottom of your shoe."
Veep
"Wait, do I put this one down? Is this clean?"
Veep
"- Wait a minute. Just answer that. - Yes."
Veep
"- Oh, my God. - Okay, get it off my shoe."
Veep
"- Don't wipe it. Just give me the shoe. - All right, take the shoe."
Veep
"- You should not be in here. We need to go. - I know."
Veep
"We'll do a little hop. Ready? One, two... there we go."
Veep
"- You got to clean it up. - It's gonna be fine."
Veep
"- It's a lot. - You can do it, though."
Veep
"- an: He's okay, he's okay. - Okay. Okay."
Veep
"Oh, God."
Veep
"God, God."
Veep
"- Amy. - Dana, hi. Have you got the lipstick?"
Veep
"Feel like my lips have touched the veep's. It's quite a thrill."
Veep
"That's a little disrespectful."
Veep
"Oh, hey, Amy,"
Veep
"let's not start off on the wrong foot, okay?"
Veep
"I'm a big part of Gary's life now."
Veep
"And you're welcome to him."
Veep
"Amy, I think we both know that any woman who's met him"
Veep
"but didn't get to keep him is gonna see me as the enemy."
Veep
"I'm sorry, but you missed your chance."
Veep
"Oh, my God. I got the lipstick out."
Veep
"What? What are you doing? Nobody is gonna know about that."
Veep
"Sue, did the president call?"
Veep
"- Ma'am, he did, actually. - What?"
Veep
"- en: Madam Vice President. - Huh?"
Veep
"POTUS has noticed your .9%"
Veep
"and he's giving you an enhanced role"
Veep
"- in foreign policy. - What? Really?"
Veep
"So, Kim Jong whatever"
Veep
"is swinging his nuclear dick again."
Veep
"The Russians have planted their flag on a Norwegian pile of pelican shit."
Veep
"Could you just send that to me in an e-mail or something?"
Veep
"You got a sit-down with CENTCOM in two hours."
Veep
"What?"
Veep
"Some US backpackers tried to smoke a doobie"
Veep
"with the wrong dudes and they have been kidnapped in Uzbekistan."
Veep
"Uzbekistan is between Turkmenistan"
Veep
"and I-could- give-a-fuck-istan. There's a map on page 376."
Veep
"Kent."
Veep
"Oh, I'm so sorry about before."
Veep
"Although, God, you made a funny noise."
Veep
"I wish I could get that as my ringtone."
Veep
"How's this for a funny noise, ma'am?"
Veep
"POTUS wants you to do the morning shows."
Veep
"- What? - You will be the face of our failure."
Veep
"No, no, Kent. I can't do that. I'm exhaustipated."
Veep
"You're booked for 27 interviews."
Veep
"Better put on some lipstick."
Veep
"Wow."
Veep
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