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Clips from Cheers - If Ever I Would Leave You (S03E03)

JUST BECAUSE I'VE GIVEN NICK THE BOOT

"JUST BECAUSE I'VE GIVEN NICK THE BOOT"

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DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE STILL CAN'T ALL BE CLOSE FRIENDS.

"DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE STILL CAN'T ALL BE CLOSE FRIENDS."

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ESPECIALLY YOU, CARLA.

"ESPECIALLY YOU, CARLA."

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AFTER ALL, WE DID HAVE NICK TORTELLI IN COMMON.

"AFTER ALL, WE DID HAVE NICK TORTELLI IN COMMON."

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YEAH. YOU, ME, AND A THOUSAND HEAD LICE.

"YEAH. YOU, ME, AND A THOUSAND HEAD LICE."

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LORETTA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

"LORETTA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

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THESE ARE THE FINAL DIVORCE PAPERS.

"THESE ARE THE FINAL DIVORCE PAPERS."

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READ THEM AND SIGN THEM.

"READ THEM AND SIGN THEM."

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PLEASE LET'S NOT MAKE THIS STICKY.

"PLEASE LET'S NOT MAKE THIS STICKY."

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IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA GIVE YOU ANY ARGUMENT ABOUT THIS, YOU'RE NUTS.

"IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA GIVE YOU ANY ARGUMENT ABOUT THIS, YOU'RE NUTS."

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I'M OVER YOU, LORETTA.

"I'M OVER YOU, LORETTA."

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CARLA WON'T GIVE ME THE TIME OF DAY,

"CARLA WON'T GIVE ME THE TIME OF DAY,"

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BUT I'D RATHER BE SCRUBBING THE FLOOR SHE WALKS ON

"BUT I'D RATHER BE SCRUBBING THE FLOOR SHE WALKS ON"

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THAN SCRUBBING THE FLOOR THAT YOU WALK ON.

"THAN SCRUBBING THE FLOOR THAT YOU WALK ON."

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THAT WASN'T TOO GOOD, BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE.

"THAT WASN'T TOO GOOD, BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE."

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WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU'RE OVER ME, NICK,

"WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU'RE OVER ME, NICK,"

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BECAUSE AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

"BECAUSE AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,"

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YOU'RE YESTERDAY'S NEWSPAPERS.

"YOU'RE YESTERDAY'S NEWSPAPERS."

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WELL, GOOD-BYE, GANG AT CHEERS.

"WELL, GOOD-BYE, GANG AT CHEERS."

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I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO WITNESS THIS UGLY SCENE.

"I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO WITNESS THIS UGLY SCENE."

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BEAT IT!

"BEAT IT!"

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AND THAT, CARLA, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME

"AND THAT, CARLA, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME"

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FOR ENDING A SENTENCE IN A PREPOSITION,

"FOR ENDING A SENTENCE IN A PREPOSITION,"

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IS THE MAN WHOSE SHOES

"IS THE MAN WHOSE SHOES"

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YOU WOULDN'T CROSS THE ROOM TO SPIT UPON.

"YOU WOULDN'T CROSS THE ROOM TO SPIT UPON."

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WHAT CAN I SAY, DIANE? I WAS WRONG.

"WHAT CAN I SAY, DIANE? I WAS WRONG."

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IT'S A START.

"IT'S A START."

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MAY I TAKE YOUR COAT, MISS?

"MAY I TAKE YOUR COAT, MISS?"

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KNOCK IT OFF, NICK, HUH?

"KNOCK IT OFF, NICK, HUH?"

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PLEASE, FOR ME.

"PLEASE, FOR ME."

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SHAME ON ME.

"SHAME ON ME."

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THIS COAT RACK NEEDS TO BE SANDED DOWN AND VARNISHED.

"THIS COAT RACK NEEDS TO BE SANDED DOWN AND VARNISHED."

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SO YOU AND NICK TOOK THE KIDS OUT THIS AFTERNOON, HUH?

"SO YOU AND NICK TOOK THE KIDS OUT THIS AFTERNOON, HUH?"

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YEAH. NICK'S IDEA.

"YEAH. NICK'S IDEA."

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WE TOOK 'EM TO THE PETTING ZOO

"WE TOOK 'EM TO THE PETTING ZOO"

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SO THEY COULD SLAP THE ANIMALS.

"SO THEY COULD SLAP THE ANIMALS."

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LISTEN, TONIGHT AFTER WORK,

"LISTEN, TONIGHT AFTER WORK,"

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ME AND YOU.

"ME AND YOU."

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WHAT DO YOU SAY?

"WHAT DO YOU SAY?"

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LIKE THE OLD TIMES, ALL RIGHT?

"LIKE THE OLD TIMES, ALL RIGHT?"

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WE'LL GO OVER TO WHITE CASTLE, GET SOME BURGERS,

"WE'LL GO OVER TO WHITE CASTLE, GET SOME BURGERS,"

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THEN CATCH SOME WRESTLING.

"THEN CATCH SOME WRESTLING."

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THERE'S A COUPLE OF GREAT GRUDGE MATCHES TONIGHT, HUH?

"THERE'S A COUPLE OF GREAT GRUDGE MATCHES TONIGHT, HUH?"

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FORGET IT, NICK.

"FORGET IT, NICK."

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I'D ENJOY THAT WITH A CLASSY GUY,

"I'D ENJOY THAT WITH A CLASSY GUY,"

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BUT YOU AND I AREN'T HAPPENING.

"BUT YOU AND I AREN'T HAPPENING."

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CARLA, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

"CARLA, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?"

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DON'T YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE CHANGE?

"DON'T YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE CHANGE?"

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I'M TELLING YOU, YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM, AND YOU GOT TO CHANGE,

"I'M TELLING YOU, YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM, AND YOU GOT TO CHANGE,"

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OR THERE'S NO LIVING WITH YOURSELF OTHERWISE.

"OR THERE'S NO LIVING WITH YOURSELF OTHERWISE."

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SAM UNDERSTANDS THAT. HE WAS A STINKING DRUNK.

"SAM UNDERSTANDS THAT. HE WAS A STINKING DRUNK."

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I HAD A PROBLEM, NICK, BUT...

"I HAD A PROBLEM, NICK, BUT..."

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AND MISS DIANE UNDERSTANDS.

"AND MISS DIANE UNDERSTANDS."

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SHE'S HUSTLING HOOCH NOW.

"SHE'S HUSTLING HOOCH NOW."

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IT WASN'T TOO LONG AGO

"IT WASN'T TOO LONG AGO"

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SHE WAS STRAPPED TO HER BED

"SHE WAS STRAPPED TO HER BED"

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AT THE DROOLING ACADEMY.

"AT THE DROOLING ACADEMY."

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IT WAS ONLY ONCE THAT I WAS RESTRAINED TO MY BED

"IT WAS ONLY ONCE THAT I WAS RESTRAINED TO MY BED"

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FOR MY OWN SAFETY

"FOR MY OWN SAFETY"

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WHEN PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS AFFECTED MY SENSE OF BALANCE,

"WHEN PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS AFFECTED MY SENSE OF BALANCE,"

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THAT WAS ONLY FOR A WEEK AND A HALF, I WAS TOLD.

"THAT WAS ONLY FOR A WEEK AND A HALF, I WAS TOLD."

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AND ANYWAY, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT ME FOR?

"AND ANYWAY, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT ME FOR?"

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CARLA, WHY WILL YOU NOT RELENT?

"CARLA, WHY WILL YOU NOT RELENT?"

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BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE IT IN YOU TO BE TRUE TO ME.

"BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE IT IN YOU TO BE TRUE TO ME."

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I THINK IF LORETTA CAME BACK AND WANTED YOU, YOU'D GO TO HER.

"I THINK IF LORETTA CAME BACK AND WANTED YOU, YOU'D GO TO HER."

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CARLA, YOU'RE GONNA BELIEVE ME ONE DAY,

"CARLA, YOU'RE GONNA BELIEVE ME ONE DAY,"

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AND I'M GONNA HANG IN UNTIL YOU DO.

"AND I'M GONNA HANG IN UNTIL YOU DO."

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AND NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

"AND NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,"

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I HAVE TO FINISH OILING THE COASTERS ON SAM'S OFFICE CHAIR.

"I HAVE TO FINISH OILING THE COASTERS ON SAM'S OFFICE CHAIR."

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FIXING THE BIG WHEEL'S LITTLE WHEELS.

"FIXING THE BIG WHEEL'S LITTLE WHEELS."

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WELL, I APPRECIATE IT, NICK.

"WELL, I APPRECIATE IT, NICK."

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CARLA, YOU KNOW, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH,

"CARLA, YOU KNOW, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH,"

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CLIFF AND I TOOK ALLEY OOP THERE

"CLIFF AND I TOOK ALLEY OOP THERE"

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TO THE DRIVE-IN OVER THE WEEKEND.

"TO THE DRIVE-IN OVER THE WEEKEND."

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ALL HE COULD TALK ABOUT WAS YOU.

"ALL HE COULD TALK ABOUT WAS YOU."

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MISS CARLA THIS, MISS CARLA THAT...

"MISS CARLA THIS, MISS CARLA THAT..."

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LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN,

"LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN,"

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I AM TIRED OF HEARING ALL OF YOU

"I AM TIRED OF HEARING ALL OF YOU"

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DEFENDING THAT WALKING HAIRBALL.

"DEFENDING THAT WALKING HAIRBALL."

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YOU WANT TO SEE WHY I DON'T FALL FOR HIS ACT?

"YOU WANT TO SEE WHY I DON'T FALL FOR HIS ACT?"

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YEAH, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

"YEAH, IF YOU DON'T MIND."

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OK. OK, WATCH.

"OK. OK, WATCH."

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WHAT'S THE EXTENSION IN YOUR OFFICE?

"WHAT'S THE EXTENSION IN YOUR OFFICE?"

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UH...221.

"UH...221."

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NICK, THIS IS LORETTA.

"NICK, THIS IS LORETTA."

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I'VE BEEN GETTING SOME OF THOSE OLD FEELINGS AGAIN, DADDY.

"I'VE BEEN GETTING SOME OF THOSE OLD FEELINGS AGAIN, DADDY."

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I THINK WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER AND TALK.

"I THINK WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER AND TALK."

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I'M AT THE BALDWIN HOTEL.

"I'M AT THE BALDWIN HOTEL."

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HOW SOON DO YOU THINK--

"HOW SOON DO YOU THINK--"

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I GOT TO GET SOME CIGARETTES!

"I GOT TO GET SOME CIGARETTES!"

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YOU DON'T SMOKE.

"YOU DON'T SMOKE."

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I'M GOING TO START. I HEARD GOOD THINGS.

"I'M GOING TO START. I HEARD GOOD THINGS."

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NO!

"NO!"

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I'M NOT GONNA GO.

"I'M NOT GONNA GO."

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I'M NOT GONNA GO.

"I'M NOT GONNA GO."

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YOU KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING?

"YOU KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING?"

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LORETTA CALLED ME, AND SHE WANTED TO TALK TO ME,

"LORETTA CALLED ME, AND SHE WANTED TO TALK TO ME,"

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AND I WAS ABOUT TO GO.

"AND I WAS ABOUT TO GO."

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THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?

"THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?"

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I THOUGHT OF YOU,

"I THOUGHT OF YOU,"

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AND I CAME TO MY SENSES.

"AND I CAME TO MY SENSES."

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AW! AW!

"AW! AW!"

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THAT WASN'T LORETTA, NICK.

"THAT WASN'T LORETTA, NICK."

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THAT WAS CARLA ON THE PHONE.

"THAT WAS CARLA ON THE PHONE."

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THAT WAS YOU?

"THAT WAS YOU?"

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YES, DADDY.

"YES, DADDY."

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THEN THAT WAS A TEST,

"THEN THAT WAS A TEST,"

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AND I PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS.

"AND I PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS."

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NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME?

"NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME?"

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CARLA...

"CARLA..."

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HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE

"HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE"

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AND DENY THE MAN BURGERS AND WRESTLING

"AND DENY THE MAN BURGERS AND WRESTLING"

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WITH THE WOMAN HE LOVES?

"WITH THE WOMAN HE LOVES?"

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HE KNEW IT WAS ME ON THE PHONE.

"HE KNEW IT WAS ME ON THE PHONE."

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CARLA, WHAT MORE CAN I DO?

"CARLA, WHAT MORE CAN I DO?"

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THAT WASN'T A GOOD ENOUGH TEST.

"THAT WASN'T A GOOD ENOUGH TEST."

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HI, CARLA!

"HI, CARLA!"

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HI, NICK.

"HI, NICK."

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HIYA, GANG AT CHEERS!

"HIYA, GANG AT CHEERS!"

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THE REAL LORETTA.

"THE REAL LORETTA."

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