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Clips from Family Guy - Cootie & The Blowhard (S20E20)

""Felt a little trepidation about killing myself,"
Family Guy
""so I went to a Phish show in Burlington"
Family Guy
"to push me over the edge.""
Family Guy
"That's it. He's in Burlington!"
Family Guy
"Thanks, Chris."
Family Guy
"Long days, short years, huh, Meg?"
Family Guy
"‐LOIS: Chris! Masturbate! ‐Jerk!"
Family Guy
"This is seriously the best turkey I've ever had, Bonnie."
Family Guy
"(vehicle approaching)"
Family Guy
"(gasps) Looks like Joe's home early."
Family Guy
"What? I ate most of his dinner!"
Family Guy
"He's gonna be so pissed. I better hide."
Family Guy
"Hey, Bon, did you know there's a difference"
Family Guy
"between Tenth Street and Tenth Avenue?"
Family Guy
"Anyway, I may have bonered the stakeout."
Family Guy
"Aw, thanks for pre‐chewing my meal, babe."
Family Guy
"The food shuttles out of my cloaca much easier that way."
Family Guy
"Time to let these dogs out of their cages."
Family Guy
"Bon, would you turn on my foot fan?"
Family Guy
"I gotta create a distraction so I can get out of here."
Family Guy
"(phone chimes)"
Family Guy
"Oh, God, Peter's texting me about going to the Clam."
Family Guy
"That guy is getting insufferable."
Family Guy
"And that dumb Shaquille O'Neal GIF!"
Family Guy
"It's like, we get it, it's humorous"
Family Guy
"for a man that large to act playful."
Family Guy
"I thought so."
Family Guy
"So, anyway, I'm gonna go dump all this"
Family Guy
"completely undigested food out of my bag,"
Family Guy
"into the toilet."
Family Guy
"If I time it right and close my eyes,"
Family Guy
"it almost sounds like real diarrhea."
Family Guy
"This can never happen again, Bonnie."
Family Guy
"Time for a poignant, cinematic farewell."
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"(whispers): I don't like when Bill Murray is serious."
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"Hang tight, Stewie, I'm coming."
Family Guy
"Is that‐‐ is that Bernie Sanders?"
Family Guy
"Ha!"
Family Guy
"Goes to Vermont once."
Family Guy
"Ah! How'd you get in here?"
Family Guy
"I was propelled by a heart attack."
Family Guy
"Now, let me talk about wages"
Family Guy
"while the corners of my mouth fill with mung."
Family Guy
"Are your glasses always that smudged?"
Family Guy
"I haven't used a wipey cloth in 35 years."
Family Guy
"You know who uses wipey cloths?"
Family Guy
"Billionaires!"
Family Guy
"I‐I'm sorry, I agree with everything you say,"
Family Guy
"but can you just say it softer?"
Family Guy
"Ooh, someone at Coachella must have said my name three times."
Family Guy
"Goodbye!"
Family Guy
"Wow, Lois, this smells amazing."
Family Guy
"Yeah, it's eggs and garlic."
Family Guy
"I microwaved them till they were mixed."
Family Guy
"Oh, oh, they're beautiful."
Family Guy
"I love them."
Family Guy
"Well, I'm just glad to see"
Family Guy
"you like my cooking again, Peter."
Family Guy
"What do you mean? What other cooking would I like?"
Family Guy
"Bonnie's? You saying I've been eatin' at Bonnie's?"
Family Guy
"Okay, fine, Lois! I've been eatin' dinner at Bonnie's!"
Family Guy
"I think we should have another baby."
Family Guy
"That'll fix this."
Family Guy
"Peter, I don't care."
Family Guy
"You don't?"
Family Guy
"No, it's less food for me to make"
Family Guy
"and besides, you know,"
Family Guy
"these things happen in all marriages."
Family Guy
"Now, if you'll excuse me,"
Family Guy
"I'm going to go into the other room"
Family Guy
"and sing Melissa Manchester's "Don't Cry Out Loud.""
Family Guy
"("Don't Cry Out Loud" by Melissa Manchester begins)"
Family Guy
"No! No! Stop it! Stop it! Nope! Nope! Can't afford it!"
Family Guy
"Well, what can we afford?"
Family Guy
""Black Betty" by Ram Jam."
Family Guy
"♪ Whoa, Black Betty ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Bam‐ba‐lam, whoa, Black Betty ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Bam‐ba‐lam, Black Betty had a child ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Bam‐ba‐lam, damn thing gone wild ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Bam‐ba‐lam. ♪"
Family Guy
"Almost done, Stewie."
Family Guy
"Do you have an email address for our mailing list?"
Family Guy
"Uh, no thanks, I'm about to kill myself."
Family Guy
"Stop the procedure!"
Family Guy
"Look Stewie, I know I've been hard on you,"
Family Guy
"but it's only because I've been"
Family Guy
"struggling with my own mortality."
Family Guy
"What? But you're perfectly healthy."
Family Guy
"Stewie, I celebrated my tenth birthday this week."
Family Guy
"In dog years, I'm 70."
Family Guy
"It's all I can think about."
Family Guy
"That's the age people shrug at"
Family Guy
"when they see it in an obituary."
Family Guy
"Wait, T. O., you're 70?"
Family Guy
"Do you get regular peels? You look great."
Family Guy
"Yes, I've got a great gal, we'll talk."
Family Guy
"The point is, I felt like my life was ending,"
Family Guy
"but I was wrong."
Family Guy
"When I was driving up here to the clinic,"
Family Guy
"I saw the leaves change."
Family Guy
"I tapped a maple tree and milked a cow."
Family Guy
"I‐I tried fresh cream for the first time"
Family Guy
"and went to a writer's retreat."
Family Guy
"I met Margaret Atwood and we foraged for wild mushrooms."
Family Guy
"Wow, sounds like you were in a real rush to get here."
Family Guy
"The point is, I've got a lot of life left in me,"
Family Guy
"and so do you."
Family Guy
"Easy for you to say."
Family Guy
"You don't have a terminal illness."
Family Guy
"Oh, for God's sake, you don't have..."
Family Guy
"Brian, what are you doing? Don't touch that!"
Family Guy
"That's the infected Play‐Doh!"
Family Guy
"Brian, no! Stop!"
Family Guy
"There. Now I have cooties, too."
Family Guy
"And I don't care."
Family Guy
"You... you don't?"
Family Guy
"We all have cooties,"
Family Guy
"whether it's illness or loneliness or turning 70."
Family Guy
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