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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - Winner Winner Turkey Dinner (S09E09)

"- 10 minutes. - I can't take it!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Just breathe, Dad. We are breaking this fear of yours."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I'm dying here! - Hey, hey, hey! Look at me."
Modern Family (2009)
"Do you want to spend the rest of your life"
Modern Family (2009)
"as an open-space magician?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah."
Modern Family (2009)
"Jay, I saw on Inseam that there was a Thanksgiving pageant"
Modern Family (2009)
"at Joe's school."
Modern Family (2009)
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I totally forgot."
Modern Family (2009)
"Joe hasn't been in school for a week."
Modern Family (2009)
"I had a falling-out with his teacher."
Modern Family (2009)
"And got sent to the principal's office."
Modern Family (2009)
"You said some pretty harsh things to Mrs. Barrish."
Modern Family (2009)
"In my defense, um, this banquet she's planning"
Modern Family (2009)
"is not historically accurate."
Modern Family (2009)
"For example, I don't remember a tandoori chicken option"
Modern Family (2009)
"at the first Thanksgiving."
Modern Family (2009)
"We have children here from many ethnicities,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and we try to make them all feel included."
Modern Family (2009)
"Be that as it may, history does not record Pocahontas"
Modern Family (2009)
"asking John Smith to pass the sashimi roll"
Modern Family (2009)
"while Myles Standish helps himself"
Modern Family (2009)
"to gluten-free huevos rancheros!"
Modern Family (2009)
"After that, it got heated, and we got expelled."
Modern Family (2009)
""We"?"
Modern Family (2009)
"But they'll call. They need my check."
Modern Family (2009)
"Why didn't the school tell me anything?"
Modern Family (2009)
"It's like I am off their e-mail list."
Modern Family (2009)
"Huh."
Modern Family (2009)
"I didn't even see the costumes."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, he didn't have a costume."
Modern Family (2009)
"No, he was the narrator. Kid told the whole story."
Modern Family (2009)
"You must have been so cute."
Modern Family (2009)
"Why don't you perform it for everybody at dinner?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I'll go get my phone, and we'll film it."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Okay? - Yes."
Modern Family (2009)
"I gotta get you up to speed in a hurry, buddy."
Modern Family (2009)
"The story of Thanksgiving. Here goes."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's no use! I can't do it!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Aaahh!"
Modern Family (2009)
"99,999..."
Modern Family (2009)
"100,000!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Son of a bitch, she did it!"
Modern Family (2009)
"See that, people?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Another person doing their best, thanks to me."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's time to eat."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hey, Google, how much time left on the turkey?"
Modern Family (2009)
"GOOGLE ASSISTANT: Two minutes remaining."
Modern Family (2009)
"See? I can control that crazy doughnut, I can do the steps."
Modern Family (2009)
"I have two achievements, and the rest have only one."
Modern Family (2009)
"So, Grandpa really motivated you"
Modern Family (2009)
"by telling you you couldn't do something, huh?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I need to see that My StepCounter for a paper I'm writing."
Modern Family (2009)
"Everybody achieved something today,"
Modern Family (2009)
"so now it's Joe's turn."
Modern Family (2009)
"Joe... tell us about the first Thanksgiving."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Oh! - Come up here, buddy."
Modern Family (2009)
"You got this."
Modern Family (2009)
"There was once a land of godless natives."
Modern Family (2009)
"They did not know any better"
Modern Family (2009)
"until, one day, the white man arrived."
Modern Family (2009)
"What is this?"
Modern Family (2009)
"The white man took pity on these primitives"
Modern Family (2009)
"by teaching them to cultivate the land."
Modern Family (2009)
"But their kindness was mistaken for aggression,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and a war began."
Modern Family (2009)
"What kind of school is this?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- This is what I was taught. - What?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Eventually, peace was restored,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and we bestowed them with our nation's highest honor..."
Modern Family (2009)
"naming football teams for them."
Modern Family (2009)
"Joe, what play is this?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I wasn't in a play! I don't go to school anymore!"
Modern Family (2009)
"All right, fine."
Modern Family (2009)
"We got kicked out, okay?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Little argument with the principal."
Modern Family (2009)
"You've been lying to me"
Modern Family (2009)
"while I was celebrating you as an amazing father?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Hey, Gloria, this is weird."
Modern Family (2009)
"You know, I downloaded your My StepCounter data"
Modern Family (2009)
"onto my computer,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and it's showing your path this morning"
Modern Family (2009)
"was the same route my mom took in her race."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hmm?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I was never going to get 100,000 steps."
Modern Family (2009)
"But then I learned that Claire was going on a Turkey Trot."
Modern Family (2009)
"The second time I hugged her, it was a little harder"
Modern Family (2009)
"because she was really wet."
Modern Family (2009)
"So I'm basically just your StepCounter mule?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I thought you cared about my race."
Modern Family (2009)
"I love you very much, Claire,"
Modern Family (2009)
"but your exercise doesn't really interest me."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hang on. When did Claire run past Pritchett's Closets?"
Modern Family (2009)
"'Cause this thing says she never got near it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, it's probably the StepCounter made a mistake."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, yeah, did it? Or... Or... Or did you take a little shortcut?"
Modern Family (2009)
"No, I was probably going so fast it couldn't even keep up with me."
Modern Family (2009)
"I have a picture of it. Luke?"
Modern Family (2009)
"And there you go."
Modern Family (2009)
"That is me clearly running in front of Pritchett's Closets."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, yeah, yeah. With a Reagan/Bush poster"
Modern Family (2009)
"in the window, huh? The photo is a fake."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's not my fault. Manny made it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Manny was Photoshopping everything?"
Modern Family (2009)
"So Joe was in real danger?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I did not realize how easy it would be for you to connect those dots."
Modern Family (2009)
"Pretty disappointed in you, Luke."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, you know, it's easy to see where he learned it from."
Modern Family (2009)
"His mother's a cheater!"
Modern Family (2009)
"What?! Oh, don't get so hot and bothered."
Modern Family (2009)
"Your makeup's already running, and what do..."
Modern Family (2009)
"Do you have a Chinese character on your bruise?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, it's probably an imprint from the intruder's ring."
Modern Family (2009)
"He was... I'm sure he was in a gang of some sort."
Modern Family (2009)
"Just give it up, Mitchell."
Modern Family (2009)
"He knocked himself out with some nunchucks"
Modern Family (2009)
"that I confiscated as acting vice principal."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, my God! Kung Sue is back. Daddy, did you hear that?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, Cam... Cam didn't really win the football game."
Modern Family (2009)
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