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Clips from Seinfeld - The Conversion (S05E05)

"What, you're cheating on your conversion test?"
Seinfeld
"- I told you. - What?"
Seinfeld
"- I told you she liked me. - Who?"
Seinfeld
"- Sister Roberta. - How do you know?"
Seinfeld
"She told me. She said she's never had a man..."
Seinfeld
"...stir up all these feelings inside of her."
Seinfeld
"She's questioning her faith. She's thinking of leaving the Church."
Seinfeld
"All this power!"
Seinfeld
"Look what I'm doing. I'm dangerous, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"I'm very, very dangerous!"
Seinfeld
"I must say, George, I was somewhat surprised..."
Seinfeld
"...at the results of your conversion test."
Seinfeld
"I don't recall having seen such an impressive performance."
Seinfeld
"You truly must be filled with the spirit of the Lord."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I'm full of it, Father."
Seinfeld
"Yes? Yes?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, yes, I see."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. Something has come up."
Seinfeld
"Oh, sure. I understand."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You wanted to see me, Father? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"Please sit down."
Seinfeld
"Sister Roberta came to see me yesterday-"
Seinfeld
"I know what this is about, Father. I didn't do anything."
Seinfeld
"I just spoke to her innocently for just a few minutes."
Seinfeld
"It's just that I..."
Seinfeld
"I have this power."
Seinfeld
"Yes."
Seinfeld
"It is a Latvian word which means "the lure of the animal.""
Seinfeld
"I don't understand."
Seinfeld
"Women are drawn to you."
Seinfeld
"They would give anything to be possessed by you."
Seinfeld
"Help me, Father. Help me!"
Seinfeld
"Yes, yes. I will help you."
Seinfeld
"Now, listen very carefully."
Seinfeld
"I want you to buy 10 cloves of garlic..."
Seinfeld
"...three quarts of vinegar..."
Seinfeld
"...6 ounces..."
Seinfeld
"What is that stench? I got it."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey, what the hell is going on?"
Seinfeld
"- It stinks. What are you doing? - I've got the kavorca."
Seinfeld
"- The kavorca? What is that? - The lure of the animal."
Seinfeld
"- I'm dangerous. - What is this thing around your neck?"
Seinfeld
"The priests, they're helping me. I just bathed in vinegar."
Seinfeld
"You know, you're funkifying the whole building."
Seinfeld
"Keep away, Jerry. Just keep away."
Seinfeld
"Kramer! Kramer!"
Seinfeld
"George Costanza?"
Seinfeld
"Estelle's son?"
Seinfeld
"Latvian Orthodox?"
Seinfeld
"- Why are you doing this? - For a woman."
Seinfeld
"A woman? What, are you out of your mind?"
Seinfeld
"Why can't you do anything like a normal person?"
Seinfeld
"Wait. Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?"
Seinfeld
"No, it's a regular religion."
Seinfeld
"I'm calling my lawyer. It might not be too late to get out of this."
Seinfeld
"- I don't want to get out of it! - But, George..."
Seinfeld
"...you don't know what you're saying. You're under their control."
Seinfeld
"- What, they brainwashed you? - No. No."
Seinfeld
"You're not performing any rituals in this house!"
Seinfeld
"Go back to the psychiatrist. I beg you."
Seinfeld
"And stay away from those squirrels."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, hi. - How you doing, Jerry?"
Seinfeld
"- Good. What's the matter? - I'm tired."
Seinfeld
"I hardly slept last night with all the scratching."
Seinfeld
"Bonkers was going crazy."
Seinfeld
"- Bonkers? - My cat."
Seinfeld
"He's got this weird sort of skin condition."
Seinfeld
"It's some type of fungus. I couldn't find his medicine."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, it's your cat! - What?"
Seinfeld
"Nothing."
Seinfeld
"- Are you ready, my son? - Yes, "faddah.""
Seinfeld
"- What did you say? - What?"
Seinfeld
"I thought you said "faddah.""
Seinfeld
"I said "faddah. " I..."
Seinfeld
"I meant "Father." Just a little bit nervous."
Seinfeld
"Of course."
Seinfeld
"How you doing?"
Seinfeld
"Get away from me, you creep."
Seinfeld
"Yes. Yes, it worked!"
Seinfeld
"Sister Roberta. I still got time to catch her."
Seinfeld
"I gotta get there."
Seinfeld
"Congratulations, George."
Seinfeld
"Welcome to the faith."
Seinfeld
"Sister Roberta, would you please offer the final benediction?"
Seinfeld
"I can't."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. It's a beautiful religion..."
Seinfeld
"...but I am not worthy of it."
Seinfeld
"I've found something else."
Seinfeld
"Him."
Seinfeld
"You know, because I love the foot. I'm a big fan of the foot."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's my fault. I got a little defensive."
Seinfeld
"And that pinkie toe. Come on!"
Seinfeld
"How adorable is the pinkie toe?"
Seinfeld
"It's my favorite toe."
Seinfeld
"Let's face it. You get a bunion, where you going?"
Seinfeld
"- You're not going to the ear guy. - No, you're not."
Seinfeld
"Would you excuse me? I'll be right back."
Seinfeld
"- Where's the bathroom? - It's right down here to the left."
Seinfeld
"I will meet you right back here?"
Seinfeld
"Elaine, it's her cat. Her cat has the fungus."
Seinfeld
"So I need the tube back."
Seinfeld
"Fungicide?"
Seinfeld
"Fungus?"
Seinfeld
"Something's wrong. I don't feel the same lure."
Seinfeld
"You don't?"
Seinfeld
"What have I-?"
Seinfeld
"I must return to the Church."
Seinfeld
"By the way, you really need to take a bath. You stink."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah. Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Once you put medicine in your cabinet..."
Seinfeld
"...you're never using it again. Medicine you use is on the sink."
Seinfeld
"It's not really a medicine cabinet. It's really like an ointment museum."
Seinfeld
"It's like, "Here's a salve from 1983..."
Seinfeld
"...some cream from the '70s." But you want to keep it private."
Seinfeld
"A medicine cabinet is a place that reveals our weaknesses..."
Seinfeld
"...and can throw off the balance between people that are going out."
Seinfeld
"Somebody peeks in there, "Oh, I see Mr. Perfect needs..."
Seinfeld
"...tough actin' Tinactin."
Seinfeld
"Well, I guess I'll be calling the shots in this relationship from now on.""
Seinfeld
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