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Clips from Back to the Beach

It's like one of those adorable Smurfs, isn't it?

"It's like one of those adorable Smurfs, isn't it?"

Back to the Beach

I'm going swimming.

"I'm going swimming."

Back to the Beach

What are you looking at?

"What are you looking at?"

Back to the Beach

Is that him? Michael?

"Is that him? Michael?"

Back to the Beach

Yeah, but now he's acting as if we never even met.

"Yeah, but now he's acting as if we never even met."

Back to the Beach

Oh, Mom, I miss him. What am I going to do?

"Oh, Mom, I miss him. What am I going to do?"

Back to the Beach

Well, I know what I would do.

"Well, I know what I would do."

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Mom, it's the middle of the day.

"Mom, it's the middle of the day."

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We'd look a little silly in our pajamas now.

"We'd look a little silly in our pajamas now."

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Oh, not that,

"Oh, not that,"

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but I like what you're thinking.

"but I like what you're thinking."

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Okay, I'm going to paint you a picture.

"Okay, I'm going to paint you a picture."

Back to the Beach

I see this guy sitting over there.

"I see this guy sitting over there."

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And your father is sitting,

"And your father is sitting,"

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let's say, over here.

"let's say, over here."

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Okay?

"Okay?"

Back to the Beach

Now listen carefully, girls. This is what I would do.

"Now listen carefully, girls. This is what I would do."

Back to the Beach

...Go catch some rays on the sunny surf ♪

"...Go catch some rays on the sunny surf ♪"

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And when you catch a wave ♪

"And when you catch a wave ♪"

Back to the Beach

You'll be sitting on top of the world ♪

"You'll be sitting on top of the world ♪"

Back to the Beach

Nice setup.

"Nice setup."

Back to the Beach

Sitting on top of the world ♪

"Sitting on top of the world ♪"

Back to the Beach

( music slow down and stops )

"( music slow down and stops )"

Back to the Beach

It's good to see you again. Ha, ha!

"It's good to see you again. Ha, ha!"

Back to the Beach

Sit, sit.

"Sit, sit."

Back to the Beach

So, what were you saying? Whoa!

"So, what were you saying? Whoa!"

Back to the Beach

I said, nice setup.

"I said, nice setup."

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Oh, thank you.

"Oh, thank you."

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You've got a nice setup yourself.

"You've got a nice setup yourself."

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Wow, what a charming remark.

"Wow, what a charming remark."

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You really know how to talk to a gal.

"You really know how to talk to a gal."

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Well,

"Well,"

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I know women.

"I know women."

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I've heard that a lot.

"I've heard that a lot."

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You really have a lot of nice stuff here.

"You really have a lot of nice stuff here."

Back to the Beach

Why, thank you.

"Why, thank you."

Back to the Beach

You know what they say:

"You know what they say:"

Back to the Beach

You can tell the men from the boys

"You can tell the men from the boys"

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by the price of their toys.

"by the price of their toys."

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( laughs )

"( laughs )"

Back to the Beach

So... So, um,

"So... So, um,"

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how's that, uh, little husband of yours?

"how's that, uh, little husband of yours?"

Back to the Beach

Oh, let's not worry about him.

"Oh, let's not worry about him."

Back to the Beach

My name's... Annette.

"My name's... Annette."

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Troy.

"Troy."

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Well, Troy, let's cut the small talk.

"Well, Troy, let's cut the small talk."

Back to the Beach

Okay.

"Okay."

Back to the Beach

How'd you like to take me out tonight?

"How'd you like to take me out tonight?"

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Impress me by throwing your money around,

"Impress me by throwing your money around,"

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get me drunk and back to your place.

"get me drunk and back to your place."

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Wait. Wait a minute.

"Wait. Wait a minute."

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Have we gone out before? No.

"Have we gone out before? No."

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No?

"No?"

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Toodles.

"Toodles."

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Toodles?

"Toodles?"

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Now, that's what I would've done

"Now, that's what I would've done"

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if your father had been there.

"if your father had been there."

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Would've driven him nuts. He would have walked up,

"Would've driven him nuts. He would have walked up,"

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punched the guy and then kissed me.

"punched the guy and then kissed me."

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Possibly with an open mouth.

"Possibly with an open mouth."

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Are you sure about this?

"Are you sure about this?"

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Well, you were born, weren't you?

"Well, you were born, weren't you?"

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BOBBY: Well, Mom's theory was swell,

"BOBBY: Well, Mom's theory was swell,"

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except Dad wasn't exactly

"except Dad wasn't exactly"

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the two-fisted stud she remembered.

"the two-fisted stud she remembered."

Back to the Beach

Good morning, tiger.

"Good morning, tiger."

Back to the Beach

He hightailed it straight to Daddy O's and Connie.

"He hightailed it straight to Daddy O's and Connie."

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And how is Mr. Excitement this morning, huh?

"And how is Mr. Excitement this morning, huh?"

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You look like you've been... Connie really dug Dad.

"You look like you've been... Connie really dug Dad."

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And there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for him.

"And there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for him."

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Anyway, how are you fixed for bread?

"Anyway, how are you fixed for bread?"

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Oh, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.

"Oh, no, I'm fine, I'm fine."

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That's bull. Hi, Mom. Hi, honey.

"That's bull. Hi, Mom. Hi, honey."

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Mom?

"Mom?"

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Mom?!

"Mom?!"

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What does that mean, "Mom"?

"What does that mean, "Mom"?"

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Well, figure it out, tiger.

"Well, figure it out, tiger."

Back to the Beach

MICHAEL: Can you add?

"MICHAEL: Can you add?"

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Oh, now, wait a second. Mm-hm.

"Oh, now, wait a second. Mm-hm."

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If you're his mom and he's, like, 22,

"If you're his mom and he's, like, 22,"

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that means he could be my...

"that means he could be my..."

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Get real. We never did anything.

"Get real. We never did anything."

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We didn't?

"We didn't?"

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No. I thought we did.

"No. I thought we did."

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You mean, you can't remember if we did anything or not?

"You mean, you can't remember if we did anything or not?"

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Boy, you really know how to flatter a girl, don't you?

"Boy, you really know how to flatter a girl, don't you?"

Back to the Beach

I had Michael with my first husband, Spud.

"I had Michael with my first husband, Spud."

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Spud? Spud.

"Spud? Spud."

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Spud.

"Spud."

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Spud! Oh, Spud. Oh, jeez. Spud?

"Spud! Oh, Spud. Oh, jeez. Spud?"

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Yes, and he was not square.

"Yes, and he was not square."

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Spud? Oh, no.

"Spud? Oh, no."

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You didn't marry Spud, did you?

"You didn't marry Spud, did you?"

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Yeah. Come on, you're ragging on my dad.

"Yeah. Come on, you're ragging on my dad."

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Oh, no, I didn't mean... No, forgive me.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean... No, forgive me."

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So you got this cherry bomb, right?

"So you got this cherry bomb, right?"

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But you don't wanna be around when it goes off,

"But you don't wanna be around when it goes off,"

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because then you get blamed, right?

"because then you get blamed, right?"

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Right? PUNKS: Right!

"Right? PUNKS: Right!"

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So dig. You take this baby,

"So dig. You take this baby,"

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and you put the sucker in the women's john.

"and you put the sucker in the women's john."

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( laughter )

"( laughter )"

Back to the Beach

Three minutes later...

"Three minutes later..."

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bam! Chicks flying everywhere.

"bam! Chicks flying everywhere."

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You are a true genius.

"You are a true genius."

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PUNKS: Yeah. I know that.

"PUNKS: Yeah. I know that."

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So, what do you say we do some damage

"So, what do you say we do some damage"

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to my dad's American Express card?

"to my dad's American Express card?"

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PUNKS: All right. Yeah.

"PUNKS: All right. Yeah."

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I really like this kid.

"I really like this kid."

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Now, look, man. I'm going to do it.

"Now, look, man. I'm going to do it."

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I'm going to tell Sandi I was an idiot and apologize.

"I'm going to tell Sandi I was an idiot and apologize."

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No. Whoa. Michael, Michael, wait a minute.

"No. Whoa. Michael, Michael, wait a minute."

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You're making a bigger mistake.

"You're making a bigger mistake."

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Okay. So, what do I do?

"Okay. So, what do I do?"

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CROWD: Yeah, what's he going to do?

"CROWD: Yeah, what's he going to do?"

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I'll tell you what you do. You trick them.

"I'll tell you what you do. You trick them."

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You trick them, you convince them

"You trick them, you convince them"

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that you're having the time of your life

"that you're having the time of your life"

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while they're sitting there depressed and miserable.

"while they're sitting there depressed and miserable."

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