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Clips from Mr. Mayor - The Illusion of Choice (S02E02)

Since 1990

"Since 1990"

Mr. Mayor

when I discovered the character Leaf

"when I discovered the character Leaf"

Mr. Mayor

in my Sunday show at The Groundlings.

"in my Sunday show at The Groundlings."

Mr. Mayor

"SNL" may have passed on old Arlene,

""SNL" may have passed on old Arlene,"

Mr. Mayor

but she still found a way to make a living

"but she still found a way to make a living"

Mr. Mayor

from her characters.

"from her characters."

Mr. Mayor

I also own a biker bar in WeHo

"I also own a biker bar in WeHo"

Mr. Mayor

as Big Butch Betty Bodean.

"as Big Butch Betty Bodean."

Mr. Mayor

- Oh, no. - No.

"- Oh, no. - No."

Mr. Mayor

It was a different time in comedy.

"It was a different time in comedy."

Mr. Mayor

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Mr. Mayor

So how much do you want to go away?

"So how much do you want to go away?"

Mr. Mayor

I'm willing to look the other way on this

"I'm willing to look the other way on this"

Mr. Mayor

if you fix all these violations

"if you fix all these violations"

Mr. Mayor

and you let Jayden stay.

"and you let Jayden stay."

Mr. Mayor

At 500 less a month.

"At 500 less a month."

Mr. Mayor

And I get to feed your lizard whenever I want to.

"And I get to feed your lizard whenever I want to."

Mr. Mayor

- Deal! - [maniacal laughter]

"- Deal! - [maniacal laughter]"

Mr. Mayor

Whoa! Sorry.

"Whoa! Sorry."

Mr. Mayor

That was the last of the Scorpio leaving my body.

"That was the last of the Scorpio leaving my body."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, here's what we do with the trash cans.

"Okay, here's what we do with the trash cans."

Mr. Mayor

I have some friends in the Teamsters Union

"I have some friends in the Teamsters Union"

Mr. Mayor

and they know how to make things disappear.

"and they know how to make things disappear."

Mr. Mayor

Remember that guy who was gonna host "Jeopardy"?

"Remember that guy who was gonna host "Jeopardy"?"

Mr. Mayor

We're not getting rid of them, Arpi.

"We're not getting rid of them, Arpi."

Mr. Mayor

I just approved the citywide rollout.

"I just approved the citywide rollout."

Mr. Mayor

Seriously? But--but--

"Seriously? But--but--"

Mr. Mayor

Those stupid trash cans are humiliating, yes,

"Those stupid trash cans are humiliating, yes,"

Mr. Mayor

but they're actually keeping the streets cleaner.

"but they're actually keeping the streets cleaner."

Mr. Mayor

And I didn't see it

"And I didn't see it"

Mr. Mayor

until a very weird Jayden pointed it out.

"until a very weird Jayden pointed it out."

Mr. Mayor

Because your face is fun to throw trash at, of course!

"Because your face is fun to throw trash at, of course!"

Mr. Mayor

I concede one point to the I-Team.

"I concede one point to the I-Team."

Mr. Mayor

All righty then!

"All righty then!"

Mr. Mayor

Well, sir,

"Well, sir,"

Mr. Mayor

I'm glad you realized that a city of four million people

"I'm glad you realized that a city of four million people"

Mr. Mayor

is actually bigger than your ego.

"is actually bigger than your ego."

Mr. Mayor

Well, thank you, Arpi. That means--

"Well, thank you, Arpi. That means--"

Mr. Mayor

[yawning] it means a lot to me.

"[yawning] it means a lot to me."

Mr. Mayor

[coughs] - I am sorry, sir.

"[coughs] - I am sorry, sir."

Mr. Mayor

I saw your open mouth and it was a reflex.

"I saw your open mouth and it was a reflex."

Mr. Mayor

I'm gonna buy you a can of shelled nuts.

"I'm gonna buy you a can of shelled nuts."

Mr. Mayor

Yes, you are.

"Yes, you are."

Mr. Mayor

Nudging works.

"Nudging works."

Mr. Mayor

What a great. Episode.

"What a great. Episode."

Mr. Mayor

Stay. Tuned. For. Sexy. Cop. Trash.

"Stay. Tuned. For. Sexy. Cop. Trash."

Mr. Mayor

[laughter]

"[laughter]"

Mr. Mayor

- Good night, everybody! - Good night!

"- Good night, everybody! - Good night!"

Mr. Mayor