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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - A Yearbook to Disremember/Trust Me, I'm a Nurse (S01E01)

"- I would love it if you could just hear Tom out,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"because, uh, he is about to perform"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a random act of generosity"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"that is really gonna touch your hearts."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Really? - That's right."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Coach, this is our way of saying thank you"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"for 20 years of teaching."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is the key..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to a brand new Ford Taurus. - [gasps]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- There it is. - Wait, what?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, my gosh. - [laughs]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, my God. This is amazing!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's all yours. - Wait a minute."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is that bird crap on the car? - What's that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is it? Wait a minute."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is that bird crap on the car?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Bird crap, where? - Right there, right there."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Is that bird crap? - That is bird crap."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Did we say new? Did you say new, Mom?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's not new. - No, I di--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"if I did say that, I didn't mean to."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's actually a 2004."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- A 2004? - But it's all yours."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I think we're good."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm sorry, Coach, but we insist."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We already leased a new Tesla,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"so this is yours, whether you like it or not."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So you're just unloading your old-ass junker onto us?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, this is more of like an Oprah Winfrey type situation."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oprah would've washed the damn bird crap off first, okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No one knows what Oprah would've done."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oprah would've washed the bird crap!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, thank you for coming, everybody."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Listen, I just want to say before we start,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I like to have a catchphrase for each trial."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And we're gonna go with,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""If he broke his neck,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you must write check.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [fake snores] Wow, that was great."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Listen, how 'bout a check for $0?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- $0? What are you talking here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, that sounds low. That sounds low."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, well, guess what? We reviewed Tom's MRI,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and we're a little concerned."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What could you be concerned about exactly?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, what's going on? - Sit back,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"sand down the aloofness, and you'll understand."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is the part I'm concerned about."
10-Year-Old-Tom
""The neck looks fine."
10-Year-Old-Tom
""No injury whatsoever."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Why is this idiot in the hospital?""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The doctor wrote "idiot"?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He's a tell-it-like-it-is doctor."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sorry. I might've overstated my injuries."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ooh. - Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm sorry, Mom, I know how much"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you wanted that flying squirrel suit."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yup. Anyway,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"looks like you have to go to school like a normal poor kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ Remember there's more road ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And places to go ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Patterns to contemplate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ More people to fornicate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And remember there's a lot of good omens ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Supplying the proof ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ That our life is the best joke ever told ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Remember it's a joke and leave it alone ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Let go and try to be always abiding ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Remember if there's one good reason for dying ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ The sweet silver lining ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Through you she lives on ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And therein lies a truth ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ We can sip when we want ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Disciples of the flow ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ We can float anywhere ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom