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Clips from Avenue 5 - Was It Your Ears? (S01E01)

"pre-beep to remind me of the big beep."
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"-You got it, baby. -Already on it, thank you, Matt."
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"KAREN: All right, so, I think it would be fitting"
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"-to start with an apology. -JUDD: I accept."
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"From you to me, you big S-gibbon,"
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"because you tried to fire my husband out the ship!"
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"Mm-mm. I never say sorry."
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"Like my hero, Gandhi."
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"All right. Agenda, shall we?"
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"I have a question."
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"I would like a new cabin away from my broken prophylactic"
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"-of a husband. -Will you--"
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"All due respect, normo, we have bigger fish to fry."
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"Second that. And we can't afford the air."
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"-Right. -MIA: Wait, why not?"
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"-(SNAPS) -(LOUD BEEP)"
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"-(LAUGHS) -What do you mean, you can't afford the air?"
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"-Iris, did you-- did you just laugh? -You're delirious."
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"JUDD: All right, so, I have figured out a way"
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"to re-perceive the turd sleeve around this ship."
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"Three words: theatrical lighting rig."
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"And here's five: what, what, and why?"
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"Uh... No, that's four."
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"Fuck, I'm so tired. Jesus."
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"I'm sorry, are we running out of air?"
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"-Yeah. -MIA: Like, actual air?"
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"Not, like, cooking air"
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"or, you know, like, air conditioning--"
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"In nine months, so don't get pregnant,"
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"that'd be a complete waste of time."
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"Okay, I'm-- I'm calm. I'm not gonna tell anybody."
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"Good. All right."
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"-So, can we just focus-- -I thought I was calm,"
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"but I am not fucking calm. I don't wanna die!"
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"I don't wanna run out of air!"
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"-Thank you. -(LOUD BEEP)"
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"-Hey, Secretary of State. -Hi, Judd Galaxy."
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"I like your nails."
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"-Thank you. -You got any wax?"
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"-This string's dried out. -What, crossbow wax?"
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"Ooh, let me have a look. No, sorry."
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"-(BEEP) -Oh, it's me."
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"(WHISPERS) Okay. Do I just...?"
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"THE OTHER PRESIDENT: (ROBOTIC MALE VOICE) Miss Mulcair, please clearly"
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"and audibly state your business."
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"Right, hello. Uh, I am here on behalf of Judd Galaxy."
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"We urgently need rescue funds."
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"Four point two three trillion dollars."
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"I believe written materials have been submitted directly..."
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"into you?"
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"THE OTHER PRESIDENT: We will redirect funds from the..."
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"(FEMALE VOICE) ...National Child Welfare..."
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"(MALE VOICE) ...program."
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"Oh. Oh, my God. This-- This is..."
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"(LAUGHS) ...everything!"
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"Thank you so much!"
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"I have been in such a dark place."
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"Can I-- No? No? (CHUCKLES)"
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"Thank you. Thank you, thank you."
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"THE OTHER PRESIDENT: Please, will you consider the removal"
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"of 500 non-essential passengers?"
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"Right."
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"I absolutely hear... what you're saying."
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"It's just that that would raise one or two"
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"-ethical questions-- -Thank you!"
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"Your query has been forwarded to the..."
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"(DEEP MALE VOICE) ...Department of Ethics."
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"-But, uh... -Goodbye. Have a nice day."
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"RAV MULCAIR: No. No, no, no, no."
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"KAREN: All right, so I appreciate that some of us"
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"are sleep-victimized. However,"
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"bearing in mind the scarcity of resources,"
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"can we try to keep lang' at an abs' min'?"
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"-Wh-- What are you saying? -I am trying to conserve oxygen"
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"by... 'bridging my w'rds."
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"Well, it's highly, highly confusing."
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"You see, you did not need the second "highly,""
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"-one would've s'ff'c'd. -Would--"
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"-Sufficed. -Ugh."
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"-Jesus frazzling Christ! -Oh, my God."
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"Can we skip the missing letters round?"
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"I've just reconsidered your earlier point,"
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"re: an apology. S'ry."
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"-(LOUD BEEP) -(IRIS KIMURA LAUGHS)"
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"-Iris, you laughed! -Fine! I'm s--"
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"-What's the matter with you? -I-- I find it amusing."
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"(SNICKERING) I don't know why, it just... beep!"
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"Why are you being such a baby, Iris? Hmm?"
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"You like babies so much you wanna be one?"
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"Question: are we really running out of air?"
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"-Supplemental: what the fuck? -JUDD: Yes!"
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"To your first question."
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"I don't know how to answer your second question."
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"But Matty and I have come up with"
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"a series of oxygen conservation policies."
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""Oxygen conservation policies.""
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"Well, that's a lungful right there."
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"Let's try to keep the energy positive around Mr. Judd"
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"-while he pupates. -While he what?"
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"While he pupates."
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"I've gone through a period of serious introspection"
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"since last night."
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"Okay, so first of--"
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"Oh, also, you should know, I-- I tent now."
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"First up, no running. Leads to panting."
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"-Don't do it. -Oh, secondly,"
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"fat people shouldn't use stairs, and avoid any incline."
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"Direct! Merciless. Yes."
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"Uh, fat people should not exert themselves."
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"-By fat people, do you mean... -Anyone over two--"
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"Two hundred and fifty-seven pounds."
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"-JUDD: Mm-mm. -IRIS: Mm-hmm."
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"-JUDD: Mm-hmm? -IRIS: Mm-hmm."
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"Okay, uh, yes, a 257-pound cutoff."
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"RYAN: So what are we going to do? We're gonna weigh people as they go about their--"
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"-Are you really asking questions about-- -JUDD: You know what? Everyone--"
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"please get outta here. I-- I need a safe space to create."
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"Just me, Matty, and the person whose name I ignored."
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"-Who's that? -JUDD: You."
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"Okay."
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