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Clips from The Jeffersons - Lionel Cries Uncle (S01E01)

"HAVE YOU HAD BREAKFAST YET, MA? YES."
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"BUT I COULD STAND ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE."
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"THERE'S A POT ON THE STOVE. GO HELP YOURSELF."
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"HMMPH. MIGHT AS WELL GO TO A CAFETERIA..."
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"FOR ALL THE SERVICE I GET AROUND HERE."
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"IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG DAY, GEORGE. A LONG DAY."
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"STERLING SILVER."
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"I SEE YOU'VE FOUND ANOTHER WAY TO SPEND GEORGE'S MONEY, LOUISE."
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"I DIDN'T WANT IT. GEORGE BOUGHT IT, MOTHER JEFFERSON."
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"OH, IT'S LOVELY."
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"LOVELY."
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"RIGHT THIS WAY, SIR. THANK YOU, SIR."
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"SURE I CAN'T GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THOSE BAGS?"
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"NO, THANK YOU, SIR. I CAN HANDLE IT."
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"GEORGE. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. HI THERE, UNCLE."
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"AFTER YOU, SIR. THANK YOU, SIR. "SIR"?"
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"LOUISE. UNCLE WARD."
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"OH, IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME."
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"LOUISE, YOU LOOK WONDERFUL."
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"WILL THAT BE ALL, SIR? YES, THANK YOU."
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"I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS. HERE YOU ARE, RALPH."
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"OH, THANK YOU, MR. JEFFERSON, SIR."
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"THANK YOU KINDLY, SIR. AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, SIR."
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"YOU'RE VERY WELCOME, SIR. SIR. SIR."
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"LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY "SIR" TO MY DOORMAN JUST BECAUSE HE'S A HONKY."
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"THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. IT WAS MERELY GOOD MANNERS."
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"LOOK, THIS IS ALL THE GOOD MANNERS YOU NEED. DIDN'T YOU NOTICE?"
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"I JUST GAVE HIM TWO OF THESE, AND THE "SIRS" CAME POURING OUT."
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"OH, MOTHER JEFFERSON."
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"I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET MY UNCLE."
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"UNCLE WARD, THIS IS MY MOTHER-IN-LAW, MRS. JEFFERSON."
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"- HOW DO YOU DO? - MRS. JEFFERSON."
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"IT'S A REAL PLEASURE TO MEET YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS."
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"YOU'RE MUCH YOUNGER AND FAR MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN I'D IMAGINED."
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"THANK YOU."
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"UH, GEORGE, UNCLE WARD MUST BE TIRED."
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"I'M SURE HE'D LIKE TO FRESHEN UP. WHY DON'T YOU SHOW HIM TO HIS ROOM?"
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"OKAY. THANKS, LOUISE."
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"IT'S BEEN A LONG, TIRING TRIP."
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"YEAH, YOUR BACK MUST BE ACHING FROM ALL THAT BOWIN' AND SCRAPIN'."
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"NO MORE THAN YOUR ARM IS FROM REACHING FOR YOUR WALLET."
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"LOUISE, YOUR UNCLE IS A CHARMING MAN."
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"THANK YOU. IS HE A BLOOD RELATIVE OR WAS HE ADOPTED?"
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"- I GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK. - WAIT, GEORGE."
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"LET US GET ONE THING STRAIGHT."
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"AS LONG AS MY UNCLE IS HERE,"
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"I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY MORE OF THOSE NASTY CRACKS LIKE THE ONE YOU JUST MADE."
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"UNDERSTOOD? YASSAH, MRS. JEFFERSON. SHO' NUFF, MA'AM."
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"COME ON, FEET. GET MOVIN'. WE GOIN' TO DE DO'."
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"AND THEN THERE WAS THE NIGHT THAT MR. MARTIN"
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"HAD INVITED 12 FOR DINNER AT 8:00."
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"AND AT 7:00, THE COOK BROKE HER LEG."
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"SO MR. MARTIN TURNED TO ME AND HE SAID... LOUISE, WHEN WE GONNA EAT?"
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"JUST AS SOON AS LIONEL GETS HERE."
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"AND DON'T YELL. YOU'LL WAKE YOUR MOTHER."
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"ISN'T SHE FEELING WELL? SHE'S FINE."
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"SHE ALWAYS TAKES A NAP BEFORE DINNER."
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"SHE LIKES TO BE UP TO FULL STRENGTH WHEN SHE CRITICIZES MY COOKING."
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"CAN I FIX YOU A DRINK? YEAH. SHOW ME HOW THE BUTLERS BUTTLE."
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"I'LL MIX YOU A DRINK THAT MR. MARTIN NAMED AFTER ME."
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"HE CALLED IT A "WARD HEELER." ONE DRINK AND YOU'LL VOTE FOR ANYBODY."
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"LOUISE TELLS ME YOU'RE RETIRING AND GOING BACK TO GEORGIA."
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"- THAT'S RIGHT. - WHY WOULD ANYBODY IN HIS RIGHT MIND..."
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"WANNA GO BACK DOWN SOUTH?"
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"I SUPPOSE YOU THINK I SHOULD GO SOMEPLACE SAFE, LIKE BOSTON."
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"RELAX."
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"AROUND HERE, WE ANSWER OUR OWN DOOR."
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"AGONY. MR. JEFFERSON, I'M IN AGONY."
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"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY."
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"DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES. JUST COME ABOARD."
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"IT'S OKAY. HE'S ENGLISH."
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"OH, YES. OH, THAT'S IT. OH, RAPTURE. YES."
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"OH! IT'S ALL BEGINNING TO FALL INTO PLACE NOW."
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"OH! SHEER RAPTURE."
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"DID IT WORK? OH, THANK YOU, MR. JEFFERSON."
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"YOU'RE BETTER THAN ALL THE WONDER DRUGS."
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"IT'S A PITY WE CAN'T BOTTLE YOUR FEET AND SELL THEM."
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"HOW DID IT HAPPEN THIS TIME? IT WAS THE SILLIEST THING."
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"I WAS COOKING MY DINNER, AND I REACHED DOWN FOR SOME OREGANO..."
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"WOULD YOU MIND NOT PUTTING YOUR SHOES ON JUST YET?"
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"NOT AGAIN? UH-HUH. AAH!"
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"THAT'S THE TROUBLE AREA."
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"IF YOU'LL HOLD STILL, I THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP."
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"WELL, THAT'S-THAT'S ASTOUNDING. THAT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING."
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"HOW DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT? I'VE DONE SOME READING ON THE SUBJECT."
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"MR. MARTIN, THE MAN I USED TO WORK FOR, GAVE ME FULL USE OF THE FAMILY LIBRARY."
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"I DON'T BELIEVE WE'VE MET. I'M HARRY BENTLEY."
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"HOW DO YOU DO, SIR? AND YOU MUST BE MRS. JEFFERSON'S UNCLE TOM."
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"WHO TOLD YOU MY NAME WAS TOM?"
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"WHY, MR. JEFFERSON."
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"WE MET IN THE ELEVATOR, AND HE TOLD ME HE WAS EXPECTING YOU."
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"WELL, ON BEHALF OF MY BACK, I THANK YOU BOTH VERY MUCH."
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"I BETTER GET BACK TO MY KITCHEN BEFORE MY FETTUCCINE SELF-DESTRUCTS."
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"GOOD-BYE."
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"GEORGE, WHY DID YOU CALL ME AN UNCLE TOM?"
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"JUST LISTEN TO YOURSELF. "MR. MARTIN THIS," "MR. MARTIN THAT,""
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""YES, SIR," "NO, SIR," "THREE BAGS FULL, SIR.""
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"JEFFERSON SPEAKING."
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"OH, MR. PATTERSON. YES, SIR."
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"NO, IT'S NO PROBLEM. WE'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. BE GLAD TO."
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"LOOK, IT'S MY PLEASURE. WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS."
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"OKAY. YES, SIR. GOOD-BYE."
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"I'VE BEEN BUTTERIN' THAT HONKY UP FOR SIX MONTHS, BUT IT'S ALL WORTH IT..."
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"BECAUSE I FINALLY GOT HIS BUSINESS."
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"HOW COME WHEN I DO WHAT YOU JUST DID, YOU CALL IT "TOMMIN',""
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"AND WHEN YOU DO IT, IT'S BUSINESS?"
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"WHAT? DON'T COME ASKING ME NO DUMB QUESTION LIKE THAT ABOUT DIFFERENCE."
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"YOU KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS. THE DIFFERENCE IS, UH..."
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"YES? LOOK, EVERYBODY KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE."
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"IT'S... DON'T YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?"
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"WEEZY, LIONEL'S HOME."
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"DO YOU REMEMBER MY SON LIONEL, WHO'S ON THE DEAN'S LIST?"
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"HI, LIONEL. HI. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"
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"NOTHING. THERE WAS THIS FIGHT IN THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA."
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"I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET IN TROUBLE."
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"ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH, I'M OKAY."
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"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY? MOM, I'M OKAY."
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"WELL, THANK GOD. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS."
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"I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY. I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL."
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"IT WAS A TRIP. IT WAS UNREAL."
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