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Clips from Girls5eva - Separ8 Ways (S01E01)

"I'm very flexible. [chuckles]"
Girls5eva
"Being announced."
Girls5eva
"Huh. - Hm."
Girls5eva
"- Guys, guys. Whew."
Girls5eva
"I think I have something that can help us."
Girls5eva
"- I thought you were gonna save that for Summer's 40th."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, you know, I only celebrate half birthdays."
Girls5eva
"- So, Gloria and I watched a ton of YouTube vids,"
Girls5eva
"and we made..."
Girls5eva
"this."
Girls5eva
"- [gasps] Oh, my gosh!"
Girls5eva
"I know that ghost!"
Girls5eva
"- Hey, y'all. I'm Ashley from Girls5eva."
Girls5eva
"- Hi, Ash. - And you're listening to..."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, she's not talking to me. - Zazz 104,"
Girls5eva
"the beat of Grand Rapids."
Girls5eva
"- It's cool, right? - Yes!"
Girls5eva
"- I only loaded up a bunch of our old footage into this app."
Girls5eva
"If we can get a much bigger tablet,"
Girls5eva
"yeah, I think she can perform with us."
Girls5eva
"- She-Visor, the only birth control that's also a hat."
Girls5eva
"- Those do not work."
Girls5eva
"I know a ton of She-Visor babies."
Girls5eva
"- The algorithm's almost done learning her voice,"
Girls5eva
"so she'll be able to say or sing anything!"
Girls5eva
"- Aw, it's so good to see her again!"
Girls5eva
"- And if you miss a day, no sweat."
Girls5eva
"Just wear two visors tomorrow."
Girls5eva
"* She-Visor *"
Girls5eva
"- Aw!"
Girls5eva
"[upbeat music]"
Girls5eva
"- The one second of singing before you got flattened"
Girls5eva
"was so smooth,"
Girls5eva
"I got butter in my ears."
Girls5eva
"- Congratulations."
Girls5eva
"You've advanced to round two."
Girls5eva
"Please go take your genitalia."
Girls5eva
"- Cut. [bell dings]"
Girls5eva
"Resetting. - [humming]"
Girls5eva
"- Sorry. Can you stop humming?"
Girls5eva
"We just need clean audio to hear the singers crying out"
Girls5eva
"on the medical table."
Girls5eva
"- Of course."
Girls5eva
"Hey, Stet. - Yo, yo, girl."
Girls5eva
"- Do the judges ever kick off the show"
Girls5eva
"with a killer performance? You and I could sing"
Girls5eva
"and--and Flex could do push-ups or something?"
Girls5eva
"- Not today, Wick. It's leg day."
Girls5eva
"- Hey, I get it. Wickie, I've been there."
Girls5eva
"When I got my first gig judging "In The Shower Singer,""
Girls5eva
"I was all, "Put me in the shower."
Girls5eva
"I got pipes and a cool stomach.""
Girls5eva
"But don't fight the transition to judge."
Girls5eva
"This side of the table is where it's at."
Girls5eva
"You're still famous, but there's no gigging,"
Girls5eva
"no living on a tour bus, no harsh critiques"
Girls5eva
"of your very personal album "White Jazz.""
Girls5eva
"- I liked that album."
Girls5eva
"First music I'd ever heard. - Word."
Girls5eva
"Now I got a pension, a bananas house,"
Girls5eva
"20-year-old wife, 19-year-old surrogate."
Girls5eva
"- I know. It is cushy."
Girls5eva
"My water-bra's Pellegrino, but don't you ever miss"
Girls5eva
"that energy you get when you're performing?"
Girls5eva
"- I get it other ways now."
Girls5eva
""Fortnite" kills, certain bowel movements,"
Girls5eva
"impregnating my surrogate-- shh, don't tell my wife"
Girls5eva
"we didn't use science and tubes, okay?"
Girls5eva
"- There's my girl. Ha, ha."
Girls5eva
"The studio likes what they've been seeing"
Girls5eva
"and they're offering you a thousand-year deal."
Girls5eva
"- A thousand years? - It's meant to wow."
Girls5eva
"And there's a small clause where your body could be used"
Girls5eva
"in a show called "Corpse Wars," but it's highly unlikely."
Girls5eva
"Congratulations, Wickie."
Girls5eva
"- I can finally pay off all my debt."
Girls5eva
"- Welcome to the family."
Girls5eva
"At me. Hand it back."
Girls5eva
"- We do this off camera too?"
Girls5eva
"- Ladies and one gentleman,"
Girls5eva
"welcome to the Burt's Bees Equestrian Center."
Girls5eva
"Before we get to this morning's WNHL matchup,"
Girls5eva
"here to sing our national anthem, Girls5eva!"
Girls5eva
"[scattered applause]"
Girls5eva
"all: * Oh, say can you see *"
Girls5eva
"* By the dawn's early light *"
Girls5eva
"* What so proudly we hailed *"
Girls5eva
"* At the twilight's last gleaming *"
Girls5eva
"[beeping] - Sequence quit unexpectedly."
Girls5eva
"Rebooting."
Girls5eva
"Scanning data."
Girls5eva
"all: * And the rocket's red glare *"
Girls5eva
"- Free shipping on all Crocs purses."
Girls5eva
"Mitch McConnell blindsided!"
Girls5eva
"Wow, Gloria. - I think she's reading my emails."
Girls5eva
"- McConnell and all his dark money buddies"
Girls5eva
"are crying real tears."
Girls5eva
"- Unsubscribe! - Attention valued customer,"
Girls5eva
"your Megan Rapinoe silicone face and torso has shipped."
Girls5eva
"Tracking number 428."
Girls5eva
"Accessing camera role."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, no, you're not. [clanking]"
Girls5eva
"- You suck! - We're Girls5eva!"
Girls5eva
"Check us out on Spotify!"
Girls5eva
"- Thank you. Please leave the ice."
Girls5eva
"- Congratulations, Dr. Gloria McManus."
Girls5eva
"You've made New York Magazine's"
Girls5eva
"annual list of top doctors."
Girls5eva
"- I made top docs? - Our annual list..."
Girls5eva
"- I've been gunning for top docs for, like, ten years."
Girls5eva
"I don't know how to process the failure"
Girls5eva
"and success at the same time."
Girls5eva
"- We're still gonna get our cab fare, right?"
Girls5eva
"We're going to Tarrytown!"
Girls5eva
"- And now, here by choice, feeling empowered,"
Girls5eva
"please welcome Summer, her actual name!"
Girls5eva
"[rock music playing]"
Girls5eva
"[audience whistles]"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"- Take my money, pole queen!"
Girls5eva
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