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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer's Paternity Coot (S17E17)

"of a spanish galleon returning home from the caribbean."
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"we must pray to Santa Maria to save us."
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"Santa Maria de Guadalupe, Mistica Rosa,"
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"intercede por la iglesia."
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"One of you was not praying."
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"Action, treasure, water, a guy."
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"I'd be delighted."
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"I've dined with the prince of wales,"
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"First you stole my wife, and now you're trying to steal my family."
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"Perhaps I couldn't have stolen anyone,"
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"I was busy telling young people to get a haircut."
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"Mason, come see my room."
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"Homer, look what this is doing to grampa."
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"Eye test, pap test, memory test, memory test,"
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"sealtest ice cream, testor's airplane glue..."
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"Then, bingo who's your daddy!"
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"Will become abundantly clear."
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"I've prepared a t-shirt for you that covers either eventuality."
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"I have the results."
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"I hope we can be civil."
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"At least I can make both."
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"Homer's biological father is..."
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"even though we have no biological obligation."
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"Well, then you think of something."
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"I guess Homer couldn't make it,"
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"No, but he told us to say hi."
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"Hi."
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"So, what setting is that fan on?"
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"You would've guessed wrong."
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"a real wetsuit instead of one"
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"These waters contain some of mother nature's most stunning creatures."
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"That's what you get for being luminous, jerks."
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"Homer, look."
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"The treasure of Piso Mojado."
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"Hey, guys, we found the treasure."
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"When I get to shore, I'm bringing it right to the bar."
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"See ya soon, Homer."
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"This is w-a-3-q-I-zed."
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"Seymour!"
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"Isn't it about time you made a real friend?"
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"Mother, please."
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"How do it talk?"
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"Push this button here?"
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"You're all losers!"
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"Which way did Mason go?"
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"Daddy. Daddy."
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"Daddy. Daddy."
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"Grab daddy's keys."
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"I love that little guy."
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"Homer, on your wedding day, I want you to have this."
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"but it's all I've got."
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"That is so sweet."
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"I gave you everything and it still wasn't enough."
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"Dad..."
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"They had to feed you through a tub."
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"Well, Homer, now that you're alive again,"
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"I'll leave you with your real family."
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"Can we have a moment in private?"
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"Of course."
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"you're my dad and I love you."
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"And now there's something I've got to tell you."
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"But how?"
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"After seeing how happy you were"
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"with horatio homewrecker, I made a decision."
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"I switched the names on the dna samples."
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"Then I put my name first on the list for a new heart."
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"My old one's fine, but you never know."
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"Ah, dad."
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"Oh, Homer."
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"It would be my pleasure, son."
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"Send up two hams."
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"Listen, I wanted to ask you if you could do something"
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"my former father never did for me."
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"Anything, son."
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"Teach me that the stove is hot."
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"Very well."
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"No, Homer, mustn't touch."
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"All right, nap time."
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"Where there's smoke, there's bargains!"
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"Of course you're not--"
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"The prophecy has been fulfilled."
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"I was making napalm to drop on da nang!"
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"Here you go, pal-y."
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"whose name begins with M"
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"Listeners?"
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"You know Neve Campbell?"
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"You know, if I was born three months later, emerald would be my birthstone."
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"I'll compare your sample to the ones from grampa and Mr. Fairbanks."
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"My dream for each of you is that"
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"Missed a spot."
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"Grab daddy's keys."
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"I remembered everything you've done for me."
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"and its 99.99997% accuracy,"
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"I love you too, Homer."
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"I said no, Homer."
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"But I'm not tired."
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"We're gonna have to come up with 75 cents!"
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"Do it, Marge."
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"What's this, a letter from 1966?"
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"Wha...?!"
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"Here's your gum back."
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"Wow, that story had everything:"
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"See, Abe, we're still visiting you,"
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"Today I'm filled with joy:"
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"I drew this picture of you."
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"I will catch you"
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"action figure puddle, something we think was an air conditioner,"
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"If you're lost, you can look"
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"And his name starts with "M.""
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"And I'm a very good noticer."
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"you find the happiness I feel today."
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"What do I do? What do I do?"
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"It's beautiful."
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"just measure that there--"
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"and now that treasure is somewhere down there."
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"Wait."
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"Well, I..."
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"That's long enough."
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"I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher"
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"M. Night shyamalan?"
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