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Clips from Veep - Election Night (S04E04)

"I'm gonna go rally the rally."
Veep
"With all due respect,"
Veep
"Hmm?"
Veep
"Where's Tom?"
Veep
"Oh, he's gone to talk to the crowd at the rally."
Veep
"- What? - The fuck he has."
Veep
"Why would you let him do that?"
Veep
"All right, fuck all of you. I'm going to the rally."
Veep
"Ma'am, ma'am, that would be unprecedented."
Veep
"No, I'll tell you what's unprecedented, Kent."
Veep
"So is that jackoff becoming president through the back door."
Veep
"and America is wiping its nasty ass with it."
Veep
"Tom James!"
Veep
"Why make the total of electoral votes an even number?"
Veep
"You're tired and you're cold and your legs ache"
Veep
"That fucking guy"
Veep
"with his fucking charm and his fucking son"
Veep
"for almost 50 years."
Veep
"Ladies and gentlemen, Tom James."
Veep
"Do I know how to pick 'em? Yep."
Veep
"Well, thank you so much for being here."
Veep
"What a night, right?"
Veep
"I want to introduce you to the First Daughter"
Veep
"of the United States,"
Veep
"She is such a beautiful girl. I'm so proud of her."
Veep
"Just checking a couple of precincts."
Veep
"We've made some premature calls this evening."
Veep
"So we're anxious to be absolutely certain this time."
Veep
"Why don't we meet some of the people"
Veep
"Very emotional moment. Dan, do you wish you were there?"
Veep
"I'm sure it's a very exciting place to be at."
Veep
"There's never been an election like this."
Veep
"You must want to be there."
Veep
"Folks, you don't know her, but this is Karen Collins."
Veep
"And she has been a friend of mine for a while."
Veep
"Yep."
Veep
"And Amy Brookheimer is here."
Veep
"until she became unwell."
Veep
"who was with the campaign..."
Veep
"Well, I would be incredibly touched."
Veep
"CNN is prepared to make the following projection"
Veep
"is a win for President Meyer."
Veep
"We have one more hurdle to overcome."
Veep
"One more mountain to climb."
Veep
"But I have been to the mountaintop."
Veep
"- You do what you have to do. - Yeah, I'm getting drunk."
Veep
"can you put in a good word for me with Greg?"
Veep
"I think that I need to keep my TV work going."
Veep
"Kent, what happens next? You've got to know."
Veep
"No, I'm afraid not. Some of these House races,"
Veep
"- they're still too close to call. - What does that mean?"
Veep
"- We're in a kind of purgatory. - Welcome to my world."
Veep
"No, because I'm going to prison. Have I mentioned that?"
Veep
"- So what are we gonna do here? - Should we drop the balloons?"
Veep
"- No, no balloons. - Maybe just drop half of them?"
Veep
"- No! - Why do we even have balloons?"
Veep
"Ma'am, I seriously overstepped the mark"
Veep
"Yeah, I'll say."
Veep
"If that does happen,"
Veep
"want to be my veep?"
Veep
"Copy that."
Veep
"History is calling, and it won't go to voicemail."
Veep
"No one else here knows how tonight will go. Have fun."
Veep
"Hey, wait, it's the testicle man."
Veep
"What was that? I got, like, four seconds."
Veep
"- Great. - I haven't read them yet."
Veep
"- Fuck! - What?"
Veep
"- Hi, it's Karen. - It's Karen."
Veep
"Ah! These damn hotel carpets."
Veep
"Forgive me, Bill, but I don't wish to ever discuss this."
Veep
"and they charged me 15 grand"
Veep
"- Probable imprisonment. - Exactly."
Veep
"Um, a lot of the polls have not closed yet."
Veep
"and I need to answer it as best I can."
Veep
"Okay, well, you just did."
Veep
"Well, I just feel that I'm needed elsewhere."
Veep
"And that's... Oh! - Oh."
Veep
"Anything else you want to ask for?"
Veep
"They supply 90% of the country's paprika."
Veep
"It's unbelievable. It's still impossible to call."
Veep
"I've known sailors less likely to go either way than this."
Veep
"- Hey, Illinois is still ours, isn't it? - Yes."
Veep
"Wait, what?"
Veep
"It's hard to tell. He's not really big on emotions."
Veep
"about calling Senator O'Brien very soon to concede this election."
Veep
"I don't see any point in dragging this on."
Veep
"Please don't electrocute me."
Veep
"I wonder if there's anything that you"
Veep
"New Hampshire to O'Brien and Ohio."
Veep
"- God damn it. - It's the 12th Amendment."
Veep
"A tie is unprecedented."
Veep
"- Insanity? - Listen, I know this is a long night."
Veep
"My grandmother survived the Dust Bowl."
Veep
"Thank you. Thank you."
Veep
"who lift me up?"
Veep
"I'd like you to meet them."
Veep
"Incredible scenes. Never happened before."
Veep
"Sounds like it could be you, Dan."
Veep
"And that is, of course, Leslie Kerr."
Veep
"that Virginia, with its 13 electoral votes,"
Veep
"going out onstage. That was a fuck-up."
Veep
"You might want to watch that if you become president."
Veep
"Guilty as charged. Check 'em, don't neglect 'em."
Veep
"Well, I'll tell you one thing,"
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"of lack of self-worth and narcissism."
Veep
"- I don't know. - You are."
Veep
"No! Don't! Don't! Stop the concession!"
Veep
"Ow! Fuck!"
Veep
"Should the president and I have swapped roles?"
Veep
"- In your administration. - Oh, right!"
Veep
"- that you... - With respect,"
Veep
"Band of Horses."
Veep
"Mm-hmm."
Veep
"Neck and neck if the president takes Virginia."
Veep
"you need to get your shit together now, lady."
Veep
"- I don't know what to do. - We don't do anything."
Veep
"Yep, floor is wet out here."
Veep
"- Well, you don't work here. - Well, neither do you."
Veep
"Yeah, uh... yes."
Veep
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