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Clips from Scrubs - My Unicorn (S04E04)

"Soft scrub, you can do whatever the hell you want."
Scrubs
"Damn! I told you to sparkle!"
Scrubs
"Come on. I'm really asking for your help."
Scrubs
"who-gave-you-this-number issue."
Scrubs
"Fine! Maybe I got too involved, but would it kill you to acknowledge"
Scrubs
"Your interviewer called. He's late. Would you take Turk somewhere for me?"
Scrubs
"- Where? - Oh, the honey festival."
Scrubs
"Sure is, and Turk would love to go with you."
Scrubs
"Yes."
Scrubs
"I love large groups of white people eating pollen."
Scrubs
"Tower, are you there? I've lost an engine."
Scrubs
"Anyhoo, what do you think your dad is doing right now?"
Scrubs
"He's not my dad. He's my fake dad, which means what my fake cousin"
Scrubs
"Samantha and I almost did in the tenth grade would've been beautiful and right."
Scrubs
"All right, fine. What do you think Gregory's doing right now?"
Scrubs
"Probably playing his stupid guitar."
Scrubs
"I mean, there were the occasional missed baseball games."
Scrubs
"for two weeks without telling him."
Scrubs
"and then flashes me the sad doe eyes"
Scrubs
"No, not ever."
Scrubs
"Remember? Recently deceased dad?"
Scrubs
"- Massive heart attack. - Yes! I mean, yes."
Scrubs
"Mostly cos his mother was eight months pregnant when I met her,"
Scrubs
"- but there were other signs. - Of course."
Scrubs
"But his real dad was just such a jerk, we just decided not to tell him."
Scrubs
"Right."
Scrubs
"You know?"
Scrubs
"Elliot! What are you doing here?"
Scrubs
"- What the hell? - Woman, I was covered in bees!"
Scrubs
"Well, then I will just explain it to him."
Scrubs
"It'll be fine."
Scrubs
"What happened?"
Scrubs
"He's gonna reconsider you."
Scrubs
"I need you to reconsider blonde doctor, and I'm gonna tell you why."
Scrubs
"and I need this to happen so I can... Hey, over here. I need this to happen"
Scrubs
"so that I can hang out around the house and, you know,"
Scrubs
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Scrubs
"Here's the thing. I need you to take this can of soda, turn, smile,"
Scrubs
"and give blonde doctor a big thumbs up, or I'm gonna take the same soda,"
Scrubs
"I don't know if I can go through with this."
Scrubs
"- Hey, jerkhole. - Yeah?"
Scrubs
"No, new jerkhole. No matter what you think of that guy,"
Scrubs
"he always knew he wasn't your father, but he stayed in the game anyway."
Scrubs
"So how about you get your selfish ass in there?"
Scrubs
"- Hey. - Hey."
Scrubs
"So I've got this extra kidney I'm not using."
Scrubs
"- Are you sure? - Yeah."
Scrubs
"You know I love you, right?"
Scrubs
"He came into the world in the usual way"
Scrubs
"Still, sometimes you have to go too far to see where the line is."
Scrubs
"Oh, OK. Come with me, little friend."
Scrubs
"As for me..."
Scrubs
"serenade a clearly uncomfortable Murray, I realised something."
Scrubs
"Hey, sweet baby..."
Scrubs
"and appreciate the time he'd given him,"
Scrubs
"Hey, I just want to take a second to thank you"
Scrubs
"and the overall devastation of my self-esteem."
Scrubs
"Now wrap it all up with a slow motion hand wave."
Scrubs
"Life in a hospital is never boring."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God. I'm so sorry."
Scrubs
"Could you move my car out of the sun?"
Scrubs
"After getting more involved, I found out Mr Marks' son"
Scrubs
"We've lost the other engine."
Scrubs
"He's a little off."
Scrubs
"- Too early? - We rehearsed this!"
Scrubs
"Elliot, don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about."
Scrubs
"If it's something really important, you might have to sleep with someone."
Scrubs
"He had me in his shadows my whole life."
Scrubs
"Exactly."
Scrubs
"I can't keep my kidney guy's son from leaving."
Scrubs
"Hi. I'm Elliot."
Scrubs
"I'm firing blanks here!"
Scrubs
"You have created a monster."
Scrubs
"- to get him to do her lab before mine. - So she used her femininity."
Scrubs
"This is different."
Scrubs
"I'm so hot and thirsty."
Scrubs
"Well, Dr Kelso, I'm just gonna tell him."
Scrubs
"Now, how we gonna fix this thing?"
Scrubs
"You got the number from Jordan, didn't you?"
Scrubs
"What corner of the sky are you and your plane hiding in?"
Scrubs
"And, of course, Christopher the human honeycomb."
Scrubs
"Oh, God, I've lost another engine."
Scrubs
"That's what I do."
Scrubs
"And the taking of his college sweetheart to the Bahamas"
Scrubs
"You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice"
Scrubs
"every time I call him a girl's name or scream in his face."
Scrubs
"Sometimes Cox is all over me every second of my life."
Scrubs
"You do know he's not yours, don't you?"
Scrubs
"- I figured it out. - Yeah."
Scrubs
"Yeah."
Scrubs
"You did your flirty manipulation thing in front of that guy in there,"
Scrubs
"- That is not helpful, Turkelton. - I was covered in bees!"
Scrubs
"I love you, too, Dad."
Scrubs
"In a hospital it's easy to take things too far."
Scrubs
"and his fake real dad, but as I watched Gregory"
Scrubs
"for constantly berating me, doubting my abilities,"
Scrubs
"My pleasure."
Scrubs
"on the giant crap sandwich that is my day."
Scrubs
"I'll put her on the speakerphone."
Scrubs
"The only reason you get your lab work back fast"
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"- He had, like, a massive heart attack. - I'm sorry for your loss."
Scrubs
"Thanks. Happy weekend."
Scrubs
"That costs $10,000."
Scrubs
"Yeah!"
Scrubs
"follow you down to the parking lot, and smash your head in with it."
Scrubs
"OK."
Scrubs
"- You can take that. - No, no, no. Let's talk."
Scrubs
"Can I talk to you for a second?"
Scrubs
"Ladies, I think we've learned our lesson."
Scrubs
"Do you want to sing about him?"
Scrubs
"if I came out on the second "I found your son" to get to it?"
Scrubs
"That's a horse with a sword on his head. He guards my hopes and dreams."
Scrubs
"- I'm not falling for that crap again. - This is real. Mickey's not here."
Scrubs
"What the hell are you guys doing?"
Scrubs
"if you need a kidney, you can have mine."
Scrubs
"Hey, good-lookin'..."
Scrubs
"Oh, no."
Scrubs
"Call the fire department!"
Scrubs
"Hey!"
Scrubs
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