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Clips from Orville - Old Wounds (S01E01)

"- Yeah, all good. Sorry. - All right, no worries."
Orville
"Oh, please, there is nothing at all professional"
Orville
"who I have not seen since my divorce"
Orville
"a year ago after I walked in on her banging a retepsian."
Orville
"I know this isn't ideal,"
Orville
"but she's the only qualified xo available."
Orville
"And the staff profile compatibility program"
Orville
"indicated your skill sets complement hers."
Orville
"can get blue out of a white lampshade."
Orville
"Ed, you need to calm yourself here."
Orville
"God, I can't even believe this is happening."
Orville
"Look, she is the only current option,"
Orville
"and if you make a stink about an xo assignment"
Orville
"one day into your first command,"
Orville
"with your record,"
Orville
"Can you tell her to come straight to my office?"
Orville
"The captain does not appear to be pleased"
Orville
"at the arrival of his first officer."
Orville
"Why is this?"
Orville
"'Cause she's a total bitch."
Orville
"Do you know her?"
Orville
"- She cheated on him. - Aw, damn, that's cold."
Orville
"Yeah, so this should be a really fun trip for all of us."
Orville
"Your description of the occurrence"
Orville
"indicates unpleasantness,"
Orville
"yet you believe it will be fun."
Orville
"I was being sarcastic. It's gonna suck."
Orville
"Perhaps we should not be talking about this."
Orville
"It does not seem appropriate."
Orville
"Oh, no, we're definitely talking about it."
Orville
"Th...this is a thing."
Orville
"Hi."
Orville
"Hi."
Orville
"Can I come in?"
Orville
"It's a nice office."
Orville
"Did you pick out the furniture?"
Orville
"interested in the furniture, I'd be happy to get"
Orville
"I could have somebody compile a full report"
Orville
"and have it sent to your quarters this afternoon."
Orville
"Well, you know, I thought I was,"
Orville
"but, apparently, you're not."
Orville
"I know it doesn't matter to you,"
Orville
"but I-i am sorrier for what I did to you"
Orville
"You know, I've done"
Orville
"a pretty good job getting over all this"
Orville
"and I'm over it, so why don't you tell me"
Orville
"what the hell you're doing here?"
Orville
"I heard about your promotion."
Orville
"and you know how the fleet admirals are."
Orville
"that if there was something good I could do for you,"
Orville
"it'd help me atone in some way."
Orville
"I literally bailed on my own crewmates to come here."
Orville
"Well, you bailed on a whole marriage,"
Orville
"so I imagine that was a piece of cake for you, huh?"
Orville
"Ed, look, I'm not saying what I did wasn't disgraceful,"
Orville
"Okay, there were entire days"
Orville
"I wouldn't see you. Yeah, I was working for us,"
Orville
"Okay? Y-you just shut off from our relationship."
Orville
"So you banged papa smurf in our bed."
Orville
"- That's one way to handle it. - Darulio was there when you weren't."
Orville
"And you know how many times I tried"
Orville
"to talk to you, but you just kept putting me off?"
Orville
"Whe-when did you try to talk to me?"
Orville
"- So many times. - Where it wasn't, like, an insidious,"
Orville
"subtle, sarcastic... Either you weren't hearing me"
Orville
"or you weren't around at all, but I did try."
Orville
"Couples counseling?"
Orville
"The therapist was your brother-in-law."
Orville
"Look, this... okay... this ship"
Orville
"My entire life."
Orville
"So why are you doing this to me?"
Orville
"I'll be the one to request a transfer."
Orville
"I was just on my way to the John."
Orville
"Well, I'm-I'm glad I bumped into you."
Orville
"Do you have a second?"
Orville
"Sure. I can hold it."
Orville
"- Okay. Gordon, I just want to make sure... - You know what?"
Orville
"You should probably call me lieutenant Malloy,"
Orville
"seeing as how you're my boss now... sir."
Orville
"Right. Lieutenant."
Orville
"I just want to make sure that"
Orville
"A big one. And, um,"
Orville
"Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, no, no."
Orville
"I'm a professional, don't worry about that."
Orville
"were asking about you earlier,"
Orville
"a really cool person. Really?"
Orville
"That's very magnanimous of you."
Orville
"I got you. I got you."
Orville
"So, um, permission to pee?"
Orville
"Sweet, sweet."
Orville
"- Great. - Great."
Orville
"Entering orbit of epsilon 2."
Orville
"Orville, this is Dr. aronov."
Orville
"I am chief of this facility."
Orville
"Put him on the viewer."
Orville
"Dr. aronov, this is captain ed Mercer."
Orville
"Actually, captain, we-we don't need any supplies."
Orville
"You requested these supplies yourself, yeah?"
Orville
"I did."
Orville
"I-I wouldn't have lied unless I had to."
Orville
"Please, come down to the surface."
Orville
"Yeah, it's a great way to start things off."
Orville
"Lieutenant, you're with us."
Orville
"You see that dog in the background"
Orville
"licking his balls?"
Orville
"First thing I saw."
Orville
"Captain Mercer."
Orville
"Thank you for coming. Dr. aronov."
Orville
"- This is my security chief, Alara Kitan. - Hi."
Orville
"- My chief medical officer, Claire Finn. - Pleasure."
Orville
"And my ex-wife, Kelly Grayson."
Orville
"I'm his first officer."
Orville
"Ah."
Orville
"needs an artless, jabby-nail shoulder massage,"
Orville
"a starship on active duty?"
Orville
"The krill."
Orville
"There have been no krill ships sighted in this area."
Orville
"Incredible, isn't it? Yeah."
Orville
"Here. Follow me through the botany lab."
Orville
"We're doing genetic research and development here"
Orville
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