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Clips from Black-Ish (2014) - Family (S01E01)

"What a waste."
Black-Ish (2014)
"So, you were trolling for boys?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"I was not trolling."
Black-Ish (2014)
"I saw the best candidates, and I made my pitch,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"which, by the way, had that lady not been sitting there,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"would have resulted in us having three beautiful black boys in our home."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Problem solved."
Black-Ish (2014)
"- Hmm. - Uh..."
Black-Ish (2014)
"You're wearing the same thing again."
Black-Ish (2014)
"- Oh. - Shocking."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Dre, we need a sensible method to find Junior some black friends"
Black-Ish (2014)
"that's not gonna result in your prosecution"
Black-Ish (2014)
"or imprisonment, okay? (GASPS)"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Boom."
Black-Ish (2014)
"- The Leimert Social Club? - Yeah."
Black-Ish (2014)
"(SCOFFS) Sounds like a bougie club for rich black kids."
Black-Ish (2014)
"- No, thank you. - No, no, no!"
Black-Ish (2014)
"They have get-togethers."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Uh, community outreach, cultural enrichment."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Sounds culty."
Black-Ish (2014)
"It's not culty, Dre."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Look! Look at this."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Black people gardening."
Black-Ish (2014)
"When was the last time you saw that?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"You mean besides our nation's 400 years"
Black-Ish (2014)
"of nonconsensual gardening?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Okay, fine, so it may be not your thing, but it might be Junior's thing,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"- so you just need to try it. - All right."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Anyway, I need to go to my very cool job,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"clogs and toe socks."
Black-Ish (2014)
"(CHUCKLING) What?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"DRE: I'm not one to keep an open mind or listen to people,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"but I was desperate,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"so I decided to check out the Leimert Social Club."
Black-Ish (2014)
"So, we at Leimert Social Club have certain core values"
Black-Ish (2014)
"of service, leadership, and collegiality."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Tell us what you're looking to get out of your membership."
Black-Ish (2014)
"More black friends for my son."
Black-Ish (2014)
"(CHUCKLING) Okay."
Black-Ish (2014)
"I'm sure he'll make plenty of friends,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"but, specifically, what ways"
Black-Ish (2014)
"- would you like to see him enriched? - Mmm."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Like, an overall blackening."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Think of the boy as a piece of salmon and your club as the skillet."
Black-Ish (2014)
"I'm not sure you understand what we do."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Oh, no, no, no. We know what you do."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Cotillions, special events, fundraisers, blah, blah, blah."
Black-Ish (2014)
"See, what we're interested in is the horde of black children you have."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Mmm-hmm."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Well, we don't refer to our children as a horde."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Oh, fair enough. Fair enough."
Black-Ish (2014)
"But, for example,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"what concentration of black are we talking about?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Yes."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Are we talking raw, uncut Biggie black"
Black-Ish (2014)
"or low-cal Drake black?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"that The Leimert Social Club probably wasn't for us,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Bow was attempting a little social engineering of her own."
Black-Ish (2014)
"I thought you said we were taking the day off of school"
Black-Ish (2014)
"to do fun stuff, like get frozen yogurt."
Black-Ish (2014)
"We are doing fun stuff."
Black-Ish (2014)
"After I show you all the very cool stuff that I do here,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"we're gonna go downstairs to the cafeteria,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"and, because I'm a doctor,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"you're gonna get some free frozen yogurt."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Free or not, hospital yogurt is not how I saw my day going."
Black-Ish (2014)
"See, I put an IV into the patient's arm,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"- Mom. - Huh?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Do you know what's better than all this?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Justin Bieber wrestled Kevin Durant's dog"
Black-Ish (2014)
"for the rehearsal of a Nike commercial."
Black-Ish (2014)
"The rehearsal."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Got it."
Black-Ish (2014)
"I make sure people don't die."
Black-Ish (2014)
"But at Dad's job, they actually wrestle people."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Mommy saves people. Just saying."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Can we go now?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"DRE: Meanwhile, I still needed to figure out how to help Junior,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"so I retreated to my favorite thinking spot."
Black-Ish (2014)
"CHARLIE: 'Sup, Dre?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Nice!"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Good thing they never lock it."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Does this guy not know urinal protocol?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"You start on the ends, always leaving a buffer."
Black-Ish (2014)
"See these two right here?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"These are your spacers. They're just for show."
Black-Ish (2014)
"They are never to be used under any circumstances."
Black-Ish (2014)
"And above all else, never make direct eye contact."
Black-Ish (2014)
"And you never..."
Black-Ish (2014)
"I see you representin'."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Holding it di-down over there."
Black-Ish (2014)
"What are you... Charlie..."
Black-Ish (2014)
"- What's up, Charlie? - Oh, nothing, man."
Black-Ish (2014)
"You know, just trying to stay two steps ahead of the man."
Black-Ish (2014)
"- You dig? - Yeah."
Black-Ish (2014)
"What's wrong, Dre? You're looking pensive."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Oh. Uh, maybe this is just my pee face."
Black-Ish (2014)
"No. I know your pee face."
Black-Ish (2014)
"There's something else going on."
Black-Ish (2014)
"DRE: I don't know if it was because he knew my pee face"
Black-Ish (2014)
"or because I was desperate to change the subject,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"and, believe it or not, Charlie had a pretty interesting take."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Look, all your son needs to do is understand the struggle."
Black-Ish (2014)
"- You get me? - Hmm."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Take him back to the 'hood."
Black-Ish (2014)
"DRE: Charlie may not have known all the urinal decorum,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"but he was a'ight."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Whew! Whew!"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Mmm. Mmm-mmm."
Black-Ish (2014)
"So, wasn't lunch awesome?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Yeah. I love warm chicken-noodle soup."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Look. This is our locked drug cabinet."
Black-Ish (2014)
"It is filled with very dangerous and very powerful narcotics,"
Black-Ish (2014)
"(GASPS) Oh, my God! How long has this been like this?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"They're gonna take my key from me."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Okay, that's me."
Black-Ish (2014)
"Listen... Nurse Larry?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Uh, this is my child. I'll be right back."
Black-Ish (2014)
"You stay with him, okay?"
Black-Ish (2014)
"Hi."
Black-Ish (2014)
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