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Clips from MacGyver - Flashlight (S01E01)

"- Medieval Times, something...? - Jack."
MacGyver
"from deploying a chemical weapon."
MacGyver
"- Can't this wait till we get back? - No."
MacGyver
"We can't wait. I'm gonna tell you"
MacGyver
"the same thing I told my sister last year."
MacGyver
"Either you're celebrating your birthday with Jack,"
MacGyver
"or you're agreeing to any and all plans"
MacGyver
"for your birthday being done by Jack."
MacGyver
"You said the same thing to me..."
MacGyver
"- ... last year, - Your choice."
MacGyver
"- and I said the same thing. - This year is gonna be different."
MacGyver
"- And then, I had to explain - I can feel it."
MacGyver
"Einstein's definition of insanity to you."
MacGyver
"Okay, A: if you just pick one, Jack might shut up."
MacGyver
"Cake, presents. What's not to love?"
MacGyver
"Yeah, what's the matter with you?"
MacGyver
"Don't waste your time, Riley. Been trying"
MacGyver
"to get Mac to celebrate a birthday since the fifth grade."
MacGyver
"No cakes, no piñatas, not even"
MacGyver
"one tail pinned on one donkey."
MacGyver
"Oh, come on, Mac."
MacGyver
"- Every donkey needs a tail. - Okay, everyone."
MacGyver
"Listen up. You know I love a good party,"
MacGyver
"but birthdays make no sense."
MacGyver
"We are aging every second"
MacGyver
"of every minute of every day."
MacGyver
"And for some reason, we decide to pick one arbitrary day"
MacGyver
"all because some pope made a calendar in the 16th century?"
MacGyver
"If we were on Mars, I would be 14 years old,"
MacGyver
"and my next birthday wouldn't be for another 231 days."
MacGyver
"Mars? You're using"
MacGyver
"Mars as an argument against birthdays?"
MacGyver
"Stop playing footsie with me."
MacGyver
"- What?! - All I'm saying is"
MacGyver
"- birthdays are irrelevant. - No, birthdays are not irrelevant."
MacGyver
"Dude. They're precious."
MacGyver
"Every day on this earth is, especially in this line of work."
MacGyver
"it's been X amount of days since the last fatal accident."
MacGyver
"So, we're celebrating. I don't care what planet it's on."
MacGyver
"What about monster trucks? You like monster trucks, huh?"
MacGyver
"Everybody loves watching trucks get"
MacGyver
"smashed together, people screaming, huh?"
MacGyver
"- Guys. Hey, guys, it's Matty. - I do."
MacGyver
"Hey, Matty."
MacGyver
"Sorry to interrupt the in-flight movie, folks, but"
MacGyver
"I haven't slept in a bed in five days."
MacGyver
"You haven't showered in five days."
MacGyver
"Well, I'm sorry about that,"
MacGyver
"but it's gonna have to wait."
MacGyver
"A 7.2 earthquake just struck"
MacGyver
"500 miles from your current location."
MacGyver
"Okay, any casualties?"
MacGyver
"Not yet, but FEMA teams on the ground"
MacGyver
"are asking for all available help."
MacGyver
"- Absolutely. - Yeah, we'll do what we can."
MacGyver
"Where are we going?"
MacGyver
"just two miles off the coast of Hilo."
MacGyver
"First responders are rushing to the scene, reporting"
MacGyver
"citywide structural damage."
MacGyver
"Mandatory evacuations are underway"
MacGyver
"as search and rescue teams comb the streets for survivors."
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"Coming through!"
MacGyver
"- This is bad. - Zero bars."
MacGyver
"Cell network's down."
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"Power grid, too."
MacGyver
"And with the roads in the state that they're in,"
MacGyver
"these people are gonna need a lot of help."
MacGyver
"They're gonna need you, Mac. Time to go to work."
MacGyver
"Good, that looks good."
MacGyver
"Sam Hopkins,"
MacGyver
"FEMA regional director. Are you all volunteers?"
MacGyver
"Yeah, from the Phoenix Foundation."
MacGyver
"Phoenix Foundation. Oh, right."
MacGyver
"Uh, your boss called to say you were coming."
MacGyver
"How about I start by getting an ad hoc network up and running,"
MacGyver
"get your cell phones working again?"
MacGyver
"And I'm about two-thirds of the way through advanced"
MacGyver
"first aid training, so, I'll see if I can help over there."
MacGyver
"Uh, your boss was a little vague about your skill sets."
MacGyver
"What is it exactly you guys do again?"
MacGyver
"A little of this and a little of that."
MacGyver
"Just point to the problem."
MacGyver
"We'll make it go away."
MacGyver
"Oh, well, that's a problem for starters."
MacGyver
"Anyone got eyes on Carter? Can you find Carter and have him"
MacGyver
"fix that generator again?"
MacGyver
"You're, uh, generator... this way?"
MacGyver
"Yeah, but... Hey."
MacGyver
"Hey! Sorry. Excuse me."
MacGyver
"Yeah, looks like your electrician already"
MacGyver
"replaced the carb and switched out the filter, so..."
MacGyver
"Guys, I appreciate the help, but"
MacGyver
"you really shouldn't be messing with that"
MacGyver
"- if you're not a certified... - Oh, don't worry, Mr. Hopkins."
MacGyver
"He's certified... in everything."
MacGyver
"So..."
MacGyver
"generator has a magnet in its inverter."
MacGyver
"Sometimes that magnet, if it loses strength, it needs to be"
MacGyver
"remagnetized, or the generator cannot..."
MacGyver
"Generate?"
MacGyver
"- Yeah. - Yeah."
MacGyver
"A little bit of this,"
MacGyver
"a little bit of that, huh?"
MacGyver
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you think you're doing?"
MacGyver
"I'm running I.T. here."
MacGyver
"Your network's in shambles."
MacGyver
"You think you can do better?"
MacGyver
"Just watch."
MacGyver
"So you are good with this thing?"
MacGyver
"I know where the on-off switch is."
MacGyver
"I recoded your node bootstrap scripts so they auto-install."
MacGyver
"to a hybrid system."
MacGyver
"I'm Riley, by the way."
MacGyver
"Have a seat. I could use some help."
MacGyver
"All right, so... I recoded this..."
MacGyver
"Excuse me. I need this."
MacGyver
"Requesting immediate assistance near the Kaumana Hotel."
MacGyver
"We have survivors trapped in a building"
MacGyver
"that could come down any minute."
MacGyver
"We'll take that call. Where's the hotel?"
MacGyver
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