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Clips from Community (2009) - The First Chang Dynasty (S03E03)

I may know a guy.

"I may know a guy."

Community (2009)

And the air-conditioning repair annex won't admit

"And the air-conditioning repair annex won't admit"

Community (2009)

to any knowledge of what's going on.

"to any knowledge of what's going on."

Community (2009)

we have eyes.

"we have eyes."

Community (2009)

Gross.

"Gross."

Community (2009)

Suffice it to say,

"Suffice it to say,"

Community (2009)

if Chang were holding your Dean captive,

"if Chang were holding your Dean captive,"

Community (2009)

it'd be pretty foolish to hold him on campus.

"it'd be pretty foolish to hold him on campus."

Community (2009)

It'd be even more foolish to hold him in a central air room

"It'd be even more foolish to hold him in a central air room"

Community (2009)

You win the bet.

"You win the bet."

Community (2009)

So he's in the cafeteria building?

"So he's in the cafeteria building?"

Community (2009)

Suppose he is. In the basement.

"Suppose he is. In the basement."

Community (2009)

And suppose you wanted to get to him.

"And suppose you wanted to get to him."

Community (2009)

Suppose you actually managed to make it

"Suppose you actually managed to make it"

Community (2009)

there's 50 more inside, armed to the teeth

"there's 50 more inside, armed to the teeth"

Community (2009)

with stun batons and misplaced sexual aggression.

"with stun batons and misplaced sexual aggression."

Community (2009)

Let's say you happen to get past them

"Let's say you happen to get past them"

Community (2009)

and then you get to meet Chang's number one,

"and then you get to meet Chang's number one,"

Community (2009)

Joshua,

"Joshua,"

Community (2009)

a 4'10", 105-pound bucket of piss and zit cream.

"a 4'10", 105-pound bucket of piss and zit cream."

Community (2009)

I cannot express to you how much I hate this kid.

"I cannot express to you how much I hate this kid."

Community (2009)

you're gonna find a state-of-the-art

"you're gonna find a state-of-the-art"

Community (2009)

keypad on the basement door.

"keypad on the basement door."

Community (2009)

And just for extra fun, they change the code every day,

"And just for extra fun, they change the code every day,"

Community (2009)

and the only copy is locked up in Chang's office.

"and the only copy is locked up in Chang's office."

Community (2009)

Now, just for a lark, let's pretend

"Now, just for a lark, let's pretend"

Community (2009)

you actually make it down to the basement door.

"you actually make it down to the basement door."

Community (2009)

Who is there to greet you?

"Who is there to greet you?"

Community (2009)

Another guard and another lock

"Another guard and another lock"

Community (2009)

to which there is only one key.

"to which there is only one key."

Community (2009)

And where is that key?

"And where is that key?"

Community (2009)

Well where is it?

"Well where is it?"

Community (2009)

The point is, you're not getting down there without our help.

"The point is, you're not getting down there without our help."

Community (2009)

So help us.

"So help us."

Community (2009)

We have no horse in this race,

"We have no horse in this race,"

Community (2009)

but... there is one thing we want.

"but... there is one thing we want."

Community (2009)

Not a lot of people get a second chance.

"Not a lot of people get a second chance."

Community (2009)

Give it some thought.

"Give it some thought."

Community (2009)

Greendale is impregnable.

"Greendale is impregnable."

Community (2009)

- So what do we do? - Only one answer.

"- So what do we do? - Only one answer."

Community (2009)

Elaborate heist? Elaborate heist?

"Elaborate heist? Elaborate heist?"

Community (2009)

We'll need disguises.

"We'll need disguises."

Community (2009)

I do a great swami.

"I do a great swami."

Community (2009)

Of course it works best with a cobra,

"Of course it works best with a cobra,"

Community (2009)

but if you guys cut me a length of garden hose...

"but if you guys cut me a length of garden hose..."

Community (2009)

Are we all forgetting that if we get caught

"Are we all forgetting that if we get caught"

Community (2009)

on that campus, we go to jail?

"on that campus, we go to jail?"

Community (2009)

Such a long time.

"Such a long time."

Community (2009)

There's got to be a practical way to do this.

"There's got to be a practical way to do this."

Community (2009)

There is another way in.

"There is another way in."

Community (2009)

If I enroll in the AC school, they'll help us.

"If I enroll in the AC school, they'll help us."

Community (2009)

We could walk in and out.

"We could walk in and out."

Community (2009)

It'll mean I'll have to move out of here

"It'll mean I'll have to move out of here"

Community (2009)

and into AC school housing,

"and into AC school housing,"

Community (2009)

and I won't be able to hang out with you guys anymore,

"and I won't be able to hang out with you guys anymore,"

Community (2009)

or have a relationship, or use the word

"or have a relationship, or use the word"

Community (2009)

"sensational" for some reason.

""sensational" for some reason."

Community (2009)

Troy, we are not losing you to save the Dean

"Troy, we are not losing you to save the Dean"

Community (2009)

or Greendale... Or anything, ever.

"or Greendale... Or anything, ever."

Community (2009)

Don't be so dramatic, Troy. The answer is simple.

"Don't be so dramatic, Troy. The answer is simple."

Community (2009)

We just have to plan an elaborate heist.

"We just have to plan an elaborate heist."

Community (2009)

- Yes. - Great, I'll get my turban.

"- Yes. - Great, I'll get my turban."

Community (2009)

Everyone except Pierce has to plan an elaborate heist.

"Everyone except Pierce has to plan an elaborate heist."

Community (2009)

Shower organizer? Are you guys psychic?

"Shower organizer? Are you guys psychic?"

Community (2009)

Oh, you boners.

"Oh, you boners."

Community (2009)

Now go party your butts off.

"Now go party your butts off."

Community (2009)

Your butt could use it, Richie.

"Your butt could use it, Richie."

Community (2009)

Listen up, men.

"Listen up, men."

Community (2009)

Keep an extra deep lookout for the Greendale Seven.

"Keep an extra deep lookout for the Greendale Seven."

Community (2009)

By the way, your cake just arrived.

"By the way, your cake just arrived."

Community (2009)

Shirley will enter first

"Shirley will enter first"

Community (2009)

through the loading dock disguised as the chef.

"through the loading dock disguised as the chef."

Community (2009)

From there, she'll head into the kitchen.

"From there, she'll head into the kitchen."

Community (2009)

You had time to build a tiny working water fountain,

"You had time to build a tiny working water fountain,"

Community (2009)

and I'm a pinecone?

"and I'm a pinecone?"

Community (2009)

♪ and they both go with him when he dies ♪

"♪ and they both go with him when he dies ♪"

Community (2009)

Once in, she'll unload the goods.

"Once in, she'll unload the goods."

Community (2009)

This girl in Chicago won't stop facebooking me.

"This girl in Chicago won't stop facebooking me."

Community (2009)

Looks like j-swag's going deep dish.

"Looks like j-swag's going deep dish."

Community (2009)

Then it's time for phase two...

"Then it's time for phase two..."

Community (2009)

Toilet trouble.

"Toilet trouble."

Community (2009)

the size of my wife's attitude problem.

"the size of my wife's attitude problem."

Community (2009)

Okay, okay, why don't you two slap-arounds

"Okay, okay, why don't you two slap-arounds"

Community (2009)

give me your names for the report

"give me your names for the report"

Community (2009)

turned into the frickin' Poseidon adventure.

"turned into the frickin' Poseidon adventure."

Community (2009)

Okay, okay. Follow me then.

"Okay, okay. Follow me then."

Community (2009)

Finally. Oof baboof with you two.

"Finally. Oof baboof with you two."

Community (2009)

Here's your problem.

"Here's your problem."

Community (2009)

You people gotta start chewin' your food.

"You people gotta start chewin' your food."

Community (2009)

We may have to tap into the hydraulic flap valve,

"We may have to tap into the hydraulic flap valve,"

Community (2009)

so don't be alarmed if things get a little noisy.

"so don't be alarmed if things get a little noisy."

Community (2009)

Like my wife's mouth.

"Like my wife's mouth."

Community (2009)

If we can break through this wall and into Chang's office,

"If we can break through this wall and into Chang's office,"

Community (2009)

Meanwhile, I'll take care of cancelling the magician.

"Meanwhile, I'll take care of cancelling the magician."

Community (2009)

Yeah, sorry, Mr. Nightshade, gig's canceled.

"Yeah, sorry, Mr. Nightshade, gig's canceled."

Community (2009)

How's it coming with the guard?

"How's it coming with the guard?"

Community (2009)

Boys are pathetic.

"Boys are pathetic."

Community (2009)

Two days of facebooking with this Joshua kid

"Two days of facebooking with this Joshua kid"

Community (2009)

"Got a new flavor of lip balm.

""Got a new flavor of lip balm."

Community (2009)

Meet me at Chili's in ten minutes."

"Meet me at Chili's in ten minutes.""

Community (2009)

Sheep.

"Sheep."

Community (2009)

the only time you seduce a child over the internet.

"the only time you seduce a child over the internet."

Community (2009)

I know.

"I know."

Community (2009)

Chili's? Sick!

"Chili's? Sick!"

Community (2009)

Hey, bro, you watch my post?

"Hey, bro, you watch my post?"

Community (2009)

Yeah, whatever. 'Sup.

"Yeah, whatever. 'Sup."

Community (2009)

Cue the abra cadabra.

"Cue the abra cadabra."

Community (2009)

Is that me in my swami disguise?

"Is that me in my swami disguise?"

Community (2009)

No, Pierce, for the last time, you're in the getaway van

"No, Pierce, for the last time, you're in the getaway van"

Community (2009)

because your swami act is notoriously horrible.

"because your swami act is notoriously horrible."

Community (2009)

"A," that is racist.

""A," that is racist."

Community (2009)

"B," swamis can't drive... they're Indians.

""B," swamis can't drive... they're Indians."

Community (2009)

Pierce, just do your part.

"Pierce, just do your part."

Community (2009)

Leave the entertainment to Britta and me.

"Leave the entertainment to Britta and me."

Community (2009)

Ricky Nightshade, the rock and roll magician.

"Ricky Nightshade, the rock and roll magician."

Community (2009)

I'm starting. I need a volunteer.

"I'm starting. I need a volunteer."

Community (2009)

I'll kill anyone who raises their hand.

"I'll kill anyone who raises their hand."

Community (2009)

Pick a card and look at it.

"Pick a card and look at it."

Community (2009)

Strap him!

"Strap him!"

Community (2009)

I'm in.

"I'm in."

Community (2009)

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