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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The N Word (S06E06)

"ONE-MISSISSIPPI, TWO-MISSISSIPPI,"
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"THREE-MISSISSIPPI..."
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"Jeff: MY OWN DAUGHTER LOCKS HERSELF IN HER ROOM."
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"WON'T COME OUT WHENEVER I'M HOME."
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"MY WIFE-- ONE OF THE MOST WARM, LOVING PEOPLE"
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"YOU COULD EVER MEET--"
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"STEMMING FROM THE INCIDENT"
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"IT'S NOT A CRIME, RIGHT?"
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"- DON'T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED. - NO NEED FOR EMBARRASSMENT."
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"OF COURSE, WHAT YOU FIND IN THERE IS-- YOU KNOW, IS ANYBODY'S GUESS."
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"AND HE'S TALKING TO A FRIEND OF HIS AND HE'S GETTING VERY UPSET,"
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"'CAUSE HE HAD TO MOVE SOME FURNITURE"
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"( man clears throat )"
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"PLEASE CONTINUE, MR. DAVID."
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"( theme music playing )"
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"OH, ALL RIGHT THEN. WHAT IS IT?"
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"YOU KNOW, YOU SAID HOW MUCH YOU LOVE GARDENING,"
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"AND HOW YOU WISH YOU COULD GARDEN HERE,"
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"- AND... THERE YOU GO. - LARRY."
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"YOU DID THIS FOR ME?"
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"- I DID IT FOR YOU! - OH, LARRY!"
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"- HUH? - OH-HO! LARRY!"
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"GROW SOME LETTUCE, AUNTIE RAE. GROW SOME LETTUCE!"
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"YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD TO US, LARRY."
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"THANK YOU, LARRY. I--"
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"LARRY, YOU'RE DISGUSTING."
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"AGH! AUNTIE RAE!"
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"- WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? - AND SHE RAN INTO THE HOUSE."
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"- OH MY GOD. - HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN TO YOU?"
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"YOU KNOW, SHE WENT OVER THE APPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF TIME"
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"THAT I CAN HAVE HUMAN CONTACT WITHOUT GETTING AROUSED."
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"AFTER THAT, IT'S OUT OF MY CONTROL."
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"NOT ME. I'VE GOT DISCIPLINE DOWN THERE. I HAVE A VERY DISCERNING PENIS."
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"- NO... - VERY DISCERNING."
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"OH, SO HOW'D YOUR-- HOW'D THE APPOINTMENT GO? WITH THE DOCTOR?"
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"GREAT."
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"HE'S GONNA SNIP-SNIP, AND..."
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"MY DOG STARTS HOWLING. I'M OUT OF CONTROL."
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"- YEAH. - IT'S ABOUT TIME."
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"HEY, GUESS WHAT ELSE? I THINK BEN STILLER'S GONNA COME WITH ME AS A CLIENT."
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"- ARE YOU KIDDING? - NO!"
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"- HAVE YOU MET WITH HIM? - NO, I'M MEETING WITH HIM THIS WEEK."
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"- IF YOU COULD SIGN HIM... - I THINK IT'S A SLAM-DUNK. DONE DEAL."
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"- HUGE INCOME, I KNOW. - MY GOD."
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"- THAT'S AMAZING. - HELLO."
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"- HI. - I KNOW YOU COULDN'T DECIDE"
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"BETWEEN THE SLAW AND THE SOUP, SO I BROUGHT YOU BOTH."
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"THANK YOU. MAN, SHE'S NICE."
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"YEAH. NICE TO PEOPLE WITH HAIR, SHE'S NICE."
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"- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?"
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"- YEAH. - BALD PEOPLE GET DISCRIMINATED AGAINST CONSTANTLY."
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"AND YOU JUST SAW A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF IT."
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"YEAH, ASK ANY BALD PERSON. ASK, GO AHEAD."
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"YOU KNOW, IF I WERE BALD-- IF I WOKE UP TOMORROW AND I FOUND MYSELF BALD,"
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"- YEAH. - I GOTTA GET A PRESCRIPTION FILLED."
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"I'M GONNA GO NOW, DROP IT OFF,"
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"THEN I'LL PICK IT UP WHEN I'M DONE."
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"BEAUTIFUL."
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"- HI. - OH, HI THERE."
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"SURE. YEAH, WE CAN DO THAT."
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"GREAT, THANK YOU."
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"- Larry: THAT'S ODD. - Jeff: WHAT?"
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"I HAD ABOUT TWICE AS MANY FRENCH FRIES"
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"- YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, WOULD YOU? - NO IDEA."
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"- HUH? - NO IDEA."
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"- JUST EAT. - MAYBE SOMEBODY COULD SHED SOME LIGHT ON THIS FOR US."
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"EXCUSE ME. HI, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU."
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"- IT'S ALL RIGHT. - I'M WONDERING IF YOU NOTICED ANYTHING UNUSUAL"
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"GOING ON AT THIS TABLE AFTER I LEFT?"
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"WELL, I-- I REALLY COULDN'T SAY. I DON'T WANT"
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"TO IMPINGE ON A FRIENDSHIP."
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"- ARE YOU A DOCTOR? - YES, DR. FLOMM."
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"- I'M AN ORTHOPEDIST. - REALLY? AN ORTHOPEDIST?"
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"NICE TO MEET YOU. SO YOU WORK IN THE BUILDING?"
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"YOU HUG MY AUNTIE, MAN, YOU STAB HER IN THE STOMACH?"
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"- OH WELL... - WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"
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"- WHAT THE FUCK? - I HAVE NO CONTROL AFTER FIVE SECONDS."
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"IT'S AN APPROXIMATE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IT'S GONNA TAKE FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN."
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"WHAT THE FUCK, I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK? LORETTA."
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"- OH, I'M SORRY. - L.D.?"
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"- WHAT? - YOU HAVE LOST YOUR DAMN MIND."
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"- NO, I... - AUNTIE RAE?"
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"I CAN'T CONTROL IT. I HAVE NO CONTROL. IT'S NOT MY FAULT."
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"JUST LIKE THAT, YOU GOT TURNED ON?"
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"NOT JUST LIKE THAT. THAT'S A LONG TIME, FIVE SECONDS."
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"HE GOT A FIVE-SECOND RULE. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE-- BOING, IT COME OUT."
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"- WHERE'S YOUR "MISSISSIPPI"? YOU GOTTA PUT MISSISSIPPI IN. - Both: MISSISSIPPI?"
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"THAT'S HOW YOU COUNT-- "ONE-MISSISSIPPI, TWO-MISSISSIPPI,"
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"THREE-MISSISSIPPI, FOUR-MISSISSIPPI, FIVE-MISSISSIPPI.""
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"- THAT'S WAY TOO LONG. - WAY TOO LONG."
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"- YOU'RE STRETCHING IT OUT FOR-- - I'M NOT STRETCHING IT OUT."
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"YOU ALL OVER HER. YOU STAB HER IN THE FUCKIN' STOMACH, MAN."
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"BELIEVE ME, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN."
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"YOU BETTER MAKE SURE IT DON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, BECAUSE WE CAN GO."
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"- WE CAN GO, MAN. - WE CAN GO. WE CAN GO ANYWHERE."
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"- WHERE YOU GONNA GO? - ANYWHERE. GET OUT OF HERE, I KNOW THAT."
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"- Leon: WE GOT PLACES TO GO. - YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST"
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"I'M SO STARVED FOR AFFECTION, I GUESS THAT"
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"- YOU GOT ONE MORE CHANCE, L.D. - I JUST MET A DOCTOR, ACTUALLY."
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"I'M GONNA GO CALL HER FOR A DATE RIGHT NOW."
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"- BUT NO-- NO MORE HUGGING, DON'T WORRY. - OH PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T."
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"AND-AND-AND-- AND GO STAB SOMEBODY ELSE, MAN."
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"Dr. Flomm: AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU-- WHEN YOU TURN YOUR PALM?"
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"- YEAH, IT HURTS. - WORSE, OKAY."
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"- ( phone rings ) - JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE."
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"- HELLO, DR. FLOMM. - OH, DR. FLOMM."
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"- THIS IS LARRY DAVID CALLING. - Oh hi, Larry. How are you?"
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"- WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT? - UH, NO, ACTUALLY."
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"I'M CALLING FOR, UM, A DATE."
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"OH I SEE. WELL, I'M WITH A PATIENT RIGHT NOW."
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"Oh Jeez, I'm so sorry."
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"OKAY, IS-- IS TONIGHT GOOD FOR YOU?"
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"ACTUALLY I'M ALL BOOKED UP TONIGHT, BUT I AM AVAILABLE TOMORROW"
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"- OKAY, I'LL TAKE THE 8:30. - Terrific."
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"SPEAK TO MY RECEPTIONIST TO GET THE PERTINENT DETAILS."
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"- I'LL CALL YOUR RECEPTIONIST. - IF YOU NEED TO CANCEL"
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"OR IN CASE OF ANY EMERGENCY, JUST PAGE ME."
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"Okay. Okay, will do."
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"GOOD, AND I RECOMMEND BEING FIVE MINUTES EARLY."
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"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."
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