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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Town for Sale (S01E01)

"What's an all-inclusive vacation?"
Schitt's Creek
"Alexis Claire Rose... Will you marry me?"
Schitt's Creek
"Yes!"
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"If I was staying, then yes!"
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"A thousand times, yes!"
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"And if things were different and I wasn't leaving,"
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"So... is that a no?"
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"Are you stealing Roland's truck?"
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"Yeah. It's not exactly a Tesla,"
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"but it'll get our bags to the airport."
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"So you wanted to see me?"
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"Yeah. I had an idea."
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"What if you came with me to New York?"
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"Are you ser... really?"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"- New York?! - Yeah."
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"I don't even know what I would do there."
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"Oh, you just watch a season of "Girls""
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"You have this like whole life there,"
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"and I feel like I'd get lost in the mix."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"Well, all of my friends will probably be away for the summer"
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"and I have found a really beautiful two-bedroom in the East Village."
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"It's beautiful, so..."
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"Oh, two bedroom."
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"Yeah. I mean, I was looking at three bedrooms,"
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"but do I really need an office? I don't... I don't know."
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"Yeah... right."
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"You're coming! You're coming to New York!"
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"Pack a bag. Pack two bags."
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"How many bags do you have?"
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"I'm saving you from this dumpy town."
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"See you soon!"
Schitt's Creek
"Oh, Twyla..."
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"Oh, hey, Mr. Rose. I heard you guys were leaving."
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"and I just wanted to thank you for all the great service over the past few months."
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"You're welcome."
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"Yeah, judging by your tips, I was never really sure."
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"Oh. I'll have a coffee when you get a minute."
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"Johnny, I gotta talk to you."
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"Listen, uh... I don't wanna piss in your punch bowl, okay,"
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"but um... I got a bad feeling about this buyer guy of yours, Andy..."
Schitt's Creek
"- Roberts. Right, right. - Roberts."
Schitt's Creek
"Very successful. His family made a fortune in the shelving business."
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"He called me while he was bumping uglies with this old lady."
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"Oh no, really?"
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"But that's not the problem. The problem is he put me on the speaker phone."
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"I mean, who would do such a thing?"
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"I mean, that's something you would do."
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"- As soon as he put me on his speakerphone... - No, no,"
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"- I thought of you. - That's not something..."
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"But-but-but don't worry, 'cause..."
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"- Well, I am worried! - It'll be fine. Roland."
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"- This is the guy who's gonna buy the town? - Just relax."
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"Yeah, and here's the kicker..."
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"The second one was a hooker too!"
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"Yeah, yeah. Okay, see ya. See ya."
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"Excuse me, honey,"
Schitt's Creek
"do you know where I can find Johnny Rose?"
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"I got a meeting with this freakin' douche."
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"The douchebag is right here."
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"So... you're leaving."
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"What'd Ted say about that?"
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"Uh... he proposed."
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"Really."
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"So what'd you tell him?"
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"I told him I was leaving."
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"But if you weren't, you would?"
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"'Kay, is this a Barbara Walter special or something?"
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"I'm leaving. That's it."
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"I think it's nice you're going back to your natural habitat."
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"I'm not a dolphin, Mutt."
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"You know what I meant. I'm happy for you."
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"You know, you should really work on"
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"expanding your emotional range at some point."
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"So what you're saying is, he got a little short with you?"
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"You, uh, you weren't quite seeing eye to eye?"
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"Oh, there's a good idea!"
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"Andy, I've got the bill of sale right here,"
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"and... if you wanna put your John Hancock right there on that first tab..."
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"Whoa-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba."
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"Hold on a second here. I think I got a better idea."
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"- What's that? - Why don't you come over to the house tonight"
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"and try some of Jocelyn's famous mac and cheese."
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"We can sign this then."
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"and then we can dive into some mac and cheese."
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"- Right here, Andy. - I... I love it."
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"You know, I could really use a good home-cooked meal."
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"Well, right after we sign, we can all have one."
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"And according to Roland here, Jocelyn's hot stuff."
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"I can't leave town without meeting her."
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"But then again, if she's that hot"
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"what's she doing with this guy?"
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"I can't help it if she's got taste!"
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"Well, excuse you in that coat!"
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"I know! Jocelyn gave it to me."
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"What?! Knock-off's are getting so good these days."
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"Thanks. I can't wait till winter."
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"I'm gonna feel like Patty LaBelle."
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"So you did good work, princess."
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"- Thank you. - Yeah."
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"Perfect attendance, nothing but glowing reviews."
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"And you must have done a some number on Mutt."
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"What do you mean?"
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"His hours were up a month ago, he kept coming anyway."
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"- What? - Yeah, maybe he just got bored..."
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"Or maybe he just likes pretty girls in hippy hats."
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"Know what I mean, string bean?"
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"That's a lot of bags."
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"There's still some space for you though, so don't worry!"
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"Yeah... so, um, about New York."
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"Uh, it sounds amazing, but I can't do it, so..."
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"Wha-what-what-? Why? What?"
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"with what going to New York means."
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"I don't want to like you but I do..."
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"And so sharing a space with you as roommates"
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"Um... so I'm gonna take a pass, but um..."
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"I'm sure you have a lot of friends"
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"who would love to live with you."
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"Yeah, not as many as you'd think, so..."
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