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Clips from M*A*S*H - Ceasefire (S01E01)

"Yeah, I‘ll, I‘ll tell you what."
M*A*S*H
"Let‘sjust kinda leave it loose for now, huh? But we‘ll do it."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘m not gonna make any trouble, Frank. —I know, darling."
M*A*S*H
"No phone calls, no letters."
M*A*S*H
"Margaret, you‘re a real prince."
M*A*S*H
"— What‘s wrong? — Well, he‘s awake, but restless."
M*A*S*H
"You trying to louse up the cease—fire, Gilbert?"
M*A*S*H
"To tell you the truth, it, it, it would‘ve been nice..."
M*A*S*H
"ifthey could‘ve stopped the fighting before somebody aimed at me, sir."
M*A*S*H
"Next time, hide behind a tree with an officer."
M*A*S*H
"Now, I‘m giving you a direct order."
M*A*S*H
"You start getting better immediately, or I‘ll operate again."
M*A*S*H
"This time, blindfolded and sober."
M*A*S*H
"I think I‘m starting to feel better already, sir."
M*A*S*H
"Certainly, Nurse Cutler."
M*A*S*H
"I can hardlywait for the peace treaty."
M*A*S*H
"How‘s this?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll get a bottle ofwine, you get the keys to the laundry room,"
M*A*S*H
"As in you and me, as in “us“? Never mind."
M*A*S*H
"The way we‘ve been, I certainly got the impression that we were——"
M*A*S*H
"that will make any long—term relationship between us impossible."
M*A*S*H
"Hawkeye, what is it?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m suffering from terminal marriage."
M*A*S*H
"Hey, take it easy. That‘s stunning, absolutely stunning."
M*A*S*H
"Klinger, wait a minute. What‘s going on here?"
M*A*S*H
"This is my cease—fire sale. I don‘t need this stuffanymore."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘ll take this one. —Yes, that‘s $5.00."
M*A*S*H
"— That was always my favorite. — I‘ll wear it out."
M*A*S*H
"Here. These look great with that."
M*A*S*H
"_ Uh" — No charge."
M*A*S*H
"These low heels are killing me."
M*A*S*H
"A phony?"
M*A*S*H
"Sure. Big boys change their minds and the shooting starts all over again."
M*A*S*H
"You have this in a size 12?"
M*A*S*H
"It‘s for my mother!"
M*A*S*H
"— Not one bit. — You‘re a peach, Margaret."
M*A*S*H
"Dead women can‘t make any trouble, right?"
M*A*S*H
"Right!"
M*A*S*H
"Dead who?"
M*A*S*H
"|wasjust gonna stick my head in an oven..."
M*A*S*H
"and it‘ll be over in seconds."
M*A*S*H
"And I won‘t even mention your name in my note."
M*A*S*H
"|can‘t live without you, Frank! You‘re all I have."
M*A*S*H
"and the bristles where you shave your earlobes."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll learn to love her. We‘ll get along,you‘|l see."
M*A*S*H
"Then I‘ll be your patient. I‘ll catch something terrible..."
M*A*S*H
"and you‘ll have to see me every day."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll pay, Frank. You can even bill me."
M*A*S*H
"— See you after supper? - Uh-huh."
M*A*S*H
"—Same place? — Mm—hmm."
M*A*S*H
"[Tapping Glass With Spoon]"
M*A*S*H
"— Uh, can we settle down, people? — Quiet!"
M*A*S*H
"Uh, General Clayton, fellow officers,"
M*A*S*H
"nurses,"
M*A*S*H
"N. C 0.5, and our guest wounded"
M*A*S*H
"Welcome to the 4077th Cease—Fire Party."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m not going to take up time by making a speech."
M*A*S*H
"Instead, I‘d like to introduce a fine surgeon,"
M*A*S*H
"a real cutup——"
M*A*S*H
"I am hereby forgetting these poker |.O.U.s..."
M*A*S*H
"to the sum ofsome $1,500."
M*A*S*H
"[Cheering]"
M*A*S*H
"You realize, I can make all that back withjust one rich kid with bad tonsils."
M*A*S*H
"And secondly, I would like to present a pictorial tribute..."
M*A*S*H
"to the man who brought us this great cease—fire news,"
M*A*S*H
"You‘ve paid us many kind and thoughtful visits, General."
M*A*S*H
"How many ofus will forget this always stirring sight?"
M*A*S*H
"Ah, Pierce, I thinkthat——"
M*A*S*H
"But your warm side had an even warmer side."
M*A*S*H
"Margaret!"
M*A*S*H
"Ah, why don‘t we have a song?"
M*A*S*H
"Play it, will you, Father?"
M*A*S*H
"J ...au|d acquaintance be forgot J"
M*A*S*H
"JAnd never brought to mind J"
M*A*S*H
"J Should auld acquaintance be forgot J"
M*A*S*H
"J Should auld acquaintance be forgot J"
M*A*S*H
"JAnd days of auld lang syne JJ"
M*A*S*H
"Hold it. Hold it! May I have your attention, please?"
M*A*S*H
"|just received a communique from CI NCOMPAC."
M*A*S*H
"There Is no cease—fire."
M*A*S*H
"Well, we‘re back in business again."
M*A*S*H
"[ Man On PA. System] A ttention, a// personnel."
M*A*S*H
"All personne/ report to surgery"
M*A*S*H
"Incoming wounded Incoming wounded"
M*A*S*H
"All personnel, report to surgery imm edia te/y!"
M*A*S*H
"Here you are, Scrooge."
M*A*S*H
"Ifthe same thing happened, I‘d still make the same bet."
M*A*S*H
"On the level?"
M*A*S*H
"It was a glimpse ofdaylight at the end ofthe damned tunnel. It was worth it."
M*A*S*H
"— You paid a pretty heavy price. — So I blew $1,500 in |.O.U.s."
M*A*S*H
"Would you mind turning the other way? I‘d hate foryou to see a grown man cry."
M*A*S*H
"I say again, a cease—fire!"
M*A*S*H
"I‘vejust been on the phone with Cl NCOMPAC. Is that good enough foryou?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll drinkto it. Butl don‘t believe it."
M*A*S*H
"[Siren Wailing, Party Horns Blowing]"
M*A*S*H
"His liver‘s where his heart oughta be."
M*A*S*H
"[Siren Wailing, Party Horns Blowing]"
M*A*S*H
"Let us pray in silence, and remember..."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m gonna need that ear after the war."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s even harder for me."
M*A*S*H
"Well, both sides will say they won,"
M*A*S*H
"love, togetherness,"
M*A*S*H
"Hey, now that‘s a great idea!"
M*A*S*H
"You live in Bloomington, Illinois and | livein Iowa."
M*A*S*H
"|won‘t even write you at your office."
M*A*S*H
"Princess."
M*A*S*H
"There‘s no improvement."
M*A*S*H
"— Keep trying. — Yes, sir."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s just for the cease—fi re."
M*A*S*H
"Girls, you‘ll find what you want, everything half—price."
M*A*S*H
"Margaret, what are you saying?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘ve never seen you quite like this before."
M*A*S*H
"First ofall, in gratitude to the United Nations for setting us all free,"
M*A*S*H
"And We always tried to mark every memorable occasion..."
M*A*S*H
"Ifthere wasn‘t a cease—fi re, Pierce——"
M*A*S*H
"— A cease—fire? — What?"
M*A*S*H
"He got it from C| NCOMPAC."
M*A*S*H
"They‘re passing out champagne. |thoughtyou guys might like some."
M*A*S*H
"“For Radar O‘Reilly, my comrade-in-arms,"
M*A*S*H
"Thanks. You should‘ve listened to me, pal."
M*A*S*H
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